We have found our top three recommendations for the best pack n play for twins and included the product details, the pros and cons of each and all other information we feel you will need to choose the best pack n play for your twins.

1. The Baby Trend Twin Nursery Center is our #1 recommended pack n play.

It has extra features the other pack n plays we found for twins just don’t have.

When your twins are first born, a pack n play can be a great first place to have your twins sleep at night.

We placed this pack n play next to our bed and had each twin sleeping in one of the two removable bassinets. That made it easy for me, as the breastfeeding mother, to lean over and pick up each twin when they needed to breastfeed.

This will be the place you lay your twins down to nap throughout much of the day. During the day, many parents have this crib in the main sitting room. At night, many parents bring this crib into their bedroom.

Product Details:

Colors: Comes in Color Shown

Price: $249.99

Lowest Price: Amazon.com

Amazon Rating:

Below we have included the main pros and cons of each pack n play.

Pros:

★ Advantage Over Our Other Recommended Pack n Plays–The Deluxe Parent Organizer is an awesome feature that allows you to keep diapers, wipes, clothing and outfits right next to the pack n play.

★ Two removable rock-a-bye bassinet each convert to standalone rockers

★ Removable rock-a-bye bassinet comes with canopy and carry handle, plush fabric and mesh sides for proper ventilation

★ Flip away changing table and deluxe parent organizer. Use only household mild soap and warm water. Do Not Use Bleach. Do Not Machine Wash

★ One-hand locking mechanism and large wheels with brakes

★ Electronic music center with volume control, nightlight, and vibration

Cons:

• Only available in 1 color

• Twins will quickly outgrow the bassinets

2. The Graco Pack ‘n Play Playard with Twins Bassinet is the second pack n play we recommend.

Product Details:

Colors: Comes in Color Shown

Price: $179.99

Lowest Price: Amazon.com

Amazon Rating:

Below we have included the main pros and cons of each pack n play.

Pros:

★ Advantage Over Our Other Recommended Pack n Plays– It is less expensive.

★ The Pack ‘n Play Playard with Twin Bassinet is roomy with 2 cozy quilted bassinets for twins

★ Removable bassinet is perfect for napping, making it easy to transition to a portable playpen

★ Quilted mattress pad creates a comfortable nap space

★ Convenient carrying bag for no-fuss travel and storage

Cons:

• Only available in 1 color

• It does not have a changing pad or organizer for diapers, wipes and other baby items

3. The JOOVY Room2 Twin Nursery Center and the Joovy New Room2 Portable Playard is our third recommendation.

Note: The Nursery Center and the Playard Must Both Be Purchased

The JOOVY Room2 Twin Nursery Center and Joovy New Room2 Portable Playard are sold separately.

Price: $75.33- Nursery Center; $119.99- Playard = Total is $195.32

Lowest Price: Nursery Center and Playard

Amazon Rating:

Product Features:

★ Advantage Over Our Other Recommended Pack n Plays– Much larger than other two pack n plays

★ Includes bassinet and changing table (playard sold separately)

★ Bassinet holds twins up to 15 lbs each or 30 lbs total, removable center divider

★ Great for use with one baby, twins or multiples

★ Changing table holds up to 25 lbs, water resistant surface is easy to clean

★ Changing table is removable and flips over when not in use

Cons:

• Must be purchased as two individual items

• Does not include a parent organizer bin for accessories

• It does not have a changing pad or organizer for diapers, wipes and other baby items

In summary, a pack n play for twins is an excellent, useful place to have for your twins. It can be used for naps, to change diapers and as a safe play area for your twins.

Comment below and let us know if you have purchased any of these three pack n plays for twins and what you think about them.

The post The Best Pack n Play for Twins appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

“I burst into tears when I thought I was holding one baby and then discovered that I was holding the other,” recalled Marlene Flanders. “I said to myself, ‘I’m their mother, and I can’t even tell them apart,’ I sobbed. I wondered how many times I’d had them switched.”

As Marlene and countless other parents of identical multiples know firsthand, telling identical apart can be a challenge for everyone—family, teachers, friends and multiples themselves.

“My gym teacher gets us mixed up, but I wish she’d call me by the right name,” said 10-year-old identical twin Andre Deutschlaender. Andy Nieman, 12, gets annoyed at misidentification, too. “When people at school—my teachers and friends—get us mixed up, I feel like they should know who I am,” he said. Andy and his co-twin, Adam, look alike, although they are fraternal twins.

It’s an accepted fact that not one likes to be called by the wrong name. “A name is a symbol of recognition of our identity, a mark of our sense of ourselves,” explained Susan Erbaugh, Ph.D., chief of psychology at Minneapolis Children’s Medical Center. “Our name stays with us from home to work, from childhood through adulthood. It defines our distinctiveness. Calling a child by the wrong name says, ‘I don’t know or care who you are,’ or ‘We want you to be somebody different.’”

Calling children by the wrong name also “scares kids and makes them man,” Erbaugh added. “As a child’s sense of identity is emerging, it’s upsetting when people say, in essence, that the child doesn’t have a distinct place or identity.”

Establishing a sense of self is doubly challenging for a child with a co-twin who looks just like him. Child development specialists tell parents that it’s important to help each co-twin develop a concept of herself as a distinct individual.

To aid that process, many parents have found that identification strategies can make it easier to correctly identify each twin and to avoid inadvertent mix-ups, even in the first few months of multiples’ lives. Those strategies also address an underlying fear many parents have of accidentally switching their infant twins’ identities permanently.

Marlene Flanders finally put an end to the distressing mix-ups of her twin boys by putting fingernail polish on one of baby Ryan’s toenails. Later, she had Ryan’s hair trimmed to a point in the back and Aaron’s hair squared off. Flanders takes care to call each by the correct name because, as she explained, “They correct other people, but they don’t expect their mother to blow it!”

Parents of identical twins tend to take each co-twin’s autonomy seriously. “Right from the start, I didn’t want to chance a mix-up,” said Robin Gale, whose identical girls are now 6-years-old. “My foremost through has always been that these are two children, two independent individuals. I had a jeweler make gold ID ankle bracelets inscribed with their names, and those bracelets never came off. We just expanded them as Alana and Kayla grew.

When Alana and Kayla were very young, Gale dressed them differently and always knew what outfit each was wearing. “But it was hard for my husband, so he painted fingernail polish on Kayla’s pinky fingernail,” said Gale.

Applying polish to one twin’s toenails or fingernails is an effective strategy, said parents who’ve used it. So is color-coding twin’ clothing.

“We didn’t have any plan when we brought our identical twins home from the hospital,” Karen Jenkins recalled. “So for the first two weeks we painted one of Laura’s toenails. Then we divided up all the clothes and gave Denise blues, purples and greens. Laura got pinks, yellows and reds. Now the girls (age 5) are in preschool, and the teachers really appreciate our color coding.”

Joan King, whose identical twins are now adults had an equally effective system: “I put brown shoes on Brian and black shoes on Bill…It was simple, and everybody knew who was who.”

Amy Keohane still uses a pink and purple color code to help people properly identify her 6-year-old identical twins.  Koehane noted that Jennifer and Andrea look more alike now than when they were babies.  Then, their heads were shaped differently, one had more hair, and one’s face was a little rounder.  Other parents of identical twins have also noted that as their twins grew, they came to resemble each other even more closely than they did as babies.

Parents often distinguish one child from her co-twin by differences in height and weight, face shape, shade of hair, beauty spots or birthmarks, pitch of voice, personality traits and mirror-image characteristics such an opposite handedness and cowlicks.  Dawn Stewart recalled that her infant daughter Megan had a darker complexion at birth than her identical co-twin, Lindsey.  A small scar above Lindsey’s eyebrow also served as an identity marker.

Penny Morin is grateful for the mirror-image cowlicks (which turn in opposite directions) possessed by her identical 5-year-olds, Jillian and Joleen, and for the differences in their voices.  “But from a distance, I have difficulty telling them apart until they speak,” she said.

Personal characteristics such as these can also help other people accurately identify each co-twin.  But it’s usually up to parents or the twins themselves to furnish outsiders with appropriate clues.  For example, the Morin twins’ aunt was frustrated in her attempts to tell Jillian and Joleen apart until Penny advised her to look at their cowlicks.

Most people can distinguish between identical twins if they take the time to be observant.  Andy and Adam Nieman help people identify themselves correctly by choosing different haircuts and clothing.  Robin Gale credits her twins’ nursery school teachers with paying close attention each morning to what Alana and Kayla are wearing  (they wear similar but different clothing that is not color-coded).

“But when Alana and Kayla started kindergarten,” Gale said, “I asked them if their teacher knew who was who, and they said, ‘No’ so I requested that the teachers determine which child is which each morning by observing differences in their clothing.  You can tell them apart when you pay attention, and I absolutely expect teachers to do that,” Gale said.

Many parents of identical twins wish that more people would make a point of noticing differences in clothing or features.  “Twins do get tired of being asked, ‘which one are you?’” said Karen Jenkins.

To encourage correct identification, parents can take teachers, relatives and friends aside and suggest ways to tell one twin from the other.  For example, a parent might ask to meet with a teacher privately in order to explain the family’s “system”: she could say, for example, “We’ve learned that it’s very important for twins to be identified separately and correctly, so at home we make it a point to never refer to our girls as ‘the twins’ and to always use their names.  We would really appreciate it if you would do that, too.”

Parents are advised to use discretion when clarifying distinctions between their co-twins.  It’s important not to inadvertently create comparative labels (such as “Jim is the shy one, and John is the outgoing twin”) and comparisons such as height and weight only hold up when twins are viewed together.  Color-coded clothing or a child’s individual characteristics, such as her hair style or her left handedness, are more likely to serve as effective indicators and are less likely to reinforce labeling.

Of course, identification strategies aren’t foolproof, and look-alike twins will inevitably be mistaken for one another sometimes.  It’s wise to help twins develop a coping strategy for confusion, counseled Erbaugh.  “You can let them know that you understand how hard it is to be mistaken for each other,” she said.  ‘“Doctors, lawyers and movie stars,’ you might explain, ‘want their names displayed on doors and want top billing.  They get upset if their name isn’t displayed.  When you are called your co-twin’s name, it’s like you are the star and someone has put the wrong name on the door!  That’s hard to take.’”

Parents should help their twins come up with tactful but assertive ways in which they might respond to confused teachers, classmates or even family members.  Erbaugh suggested that parents might tell each co-twin, “I know what’s special about you, and the rest of the world will, too, if we help them out a bit.”

A twin can be taught to explain to anyone who makes a mistake that he is John and not Jim, said Erbaugh.  He can also learn to furnish people with an identity clue, such as, “one way you can tell us apart is by our hair.  I part my hair on the left, and Jim parts his on the right.”

“I explained to Christopher and Andre that people make mistakes because the two of them look so much alike,” said parent Ruth Deutschlaender.  “I advise them to just say, ‘I’m Christopher’ or ‘I’m Andre’ when that happens.”

Andre said that’s exactly what he does when the occasion arises.  “You can tell us apart by our voices,” he also advised.  “We sound different.”  Penny Morin’s daughter Joleen the first-born of identical twins, got upset being called by her co-twin’s name.  So Morin capitalized on having another set of identical twins in the neighborhood to help Joleen understand why that happened.  “I asked her if she sometimes got our neighbor’s twins mixed up.  She said, ‘yes,’ so I told her, ‘That’s what happens when people mistake you for Jillian.’”

Ideally, parents and siblings function as role models by identifying and addressing each twin by name.  Parents who are conscientious about recognizing and reinforcing each twin’s identity can help twins avoid the resentment voiced by one adult at having been, “a twin, not an individual, always a part of a set rather than a complete person.”

Not all adult twins feel that way, however.  Beatrice Hawkinson and Bernice Lindberg, 71, love being twins.  About their younger days, Beatrice said, “Our last name was Gustafson,a d we both had the nickname ‘Gustie’ so we didn’t get called the wrong name.  Now, when people mistake me for Bernice, I just say, ‘Oh, I’m Beatrice, Bernice’s twin.’”

These adult identical twins feel enriched by their friendship, have never wished not to be twins, and handle identity mix-ups with a touch of humor.  “If someone I don’t know smiles at me in the grocery store, I smile back because otherwise, they’ll go and ask Beatrice why she was so stuck-up the other day,” chuckled Bernice.

A sense of humor helps twins live with the inevitable, occasional mix-up.  And yes, even moms and dads sometimes err and call one of their twins the wrong name.  Then, it’s reassuring to remember that even parents of singletons call their offspring the wrong name from time to time—and they don’t have a good excuse!

Alice M Vollmar of Minneapolis, Minnesota, is a freelance writer and the mother of six children, including boy/girl twins.

The post Who’s Who? Foolproof strategies for telling identical twins apart appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

I was almost 30 years old and resigned to the fact I would never have children. Suddenly I learned I was having identical twins. My husband, a fraternal twin himself, was less surprised, knowing the genetic lottery we were playing.

What we didn’t know …

• Identical twins aren’t hereditary—our girls were just a stroke of luck.

• How sick I would get.

• How big I would become.

• How many diapers we would need.

And on and on. What we didn’t know could fill a bassinet.

What we did know … is that we were very unprepared.

Normally, I am very organized, in my career and my personal life. I’m uncomfortable being disorganized. Even worse, I hate being caught off-guard. Once I regained my senses after “twinshock” and came to embrace the idea I was having two babies, I set out to prepare myself for the journey of a lifetime. But it was very difficult to find what I needed.

I was given books upon books on how to have a baby—one baby, that is. I received countless suggestions and ideas for having a baby—one baby, of course. But where was the advice and hands-on experience for moms preparing to have twins? I spent eight months searching fruitlessly. What I found was eye-opening.

Get Ready To Be Sick

Morning sickness—whether it occurs morning, afternoon, or at night—will be part of your life. With twins, it’s worse than when pregnant with a singleton. A few lucky souls manage to escape twin-nausea, but for most, it is a part of the pregnancy. Morning sickness doesn’t always include vomiting. For me, morning sickness meant constant nausea for three months—24/7. Foods I had once loved, like canned green beans, I couldn’t even bear the sight of.

Allergies, whether chronic or seasonal, are likely to be greatly magnified as well. I was unfortunate enough to be pregnant during the summer and fall. I carried a whole tissue box in my purse at all times. Some mornings I couldn’t even open my eyes. Yes, this is normal.

It Happens So Fast

Avoid reading books about singleton pregnancies. They will only confuse you and make you worry needlessly. In a multiples-pregnancy, things progress much quicker. If you read in a book you should be feeling ligament stretching at 20 weeks, and you’re feeling it at 12 weeks, you’ll more than likely become upset and wonder if something is wrong. Books fail to mention that in a multiples-pregnancy, feeling ligament stretching at 12 weeks is completely normal.

Be Prepared Early

I felt like the worst mother ever when my hospital nurse asked me for the name of my pediatrician, and I responded with a blank stare. “You did pick out a pediatrician didn’t you?” she glared. Well, no, I shook my head. I delivered at 35 weeks and finding a pediatrician had slipped my mind. I felt awful.

A good rule of thumb: Have everything accomplished by 30 weeks. That helps ensure you will be prepared and allows for relaxation during your last weeks of pregnancy. Believe me, you’ll need it and will be thankful for the downtime.

So what is included in that elusive “everything” you should do? The basics:

• Purchase or collect enough clothing for two babies’ first few weeks.

• Have enough bottles, diapers, and formula (if not breastfeeding) for two babies’ first few weeks.

• Decide where the babies are going to sleep and if they will sleep together.

• Line up helpers to be on-call during your first few days at home.

• Select a pediatrician.

Ask for Help

As a self-proclaimed independent woman, I had the hardest time asking for help. I had no idea how much help I would need. Having my mother, mother-in-law and stepmother on hand to help with chores like laundry, dishes, and some light housecleaning was the best gift they could have given me. Chances are you won’t sleep much at night, so having someone available to fill in so you can sneak catnaps during the day is the best way to maintain your sanity.

In today’s society, many women return to work fairly soon after having children. This is especially difficult for moms of multiples, given sky-high childcare expenses and double the “getting ready” time required each day at 7 a.m. I was very clear with my husband about our ground rules from the start: Since we both work full-time, we will co-parent with equal responsibility. Gone are the days when a man wouldn’t change a diaper.

Find Friends

An invaluable resource while pregnant with twins, and one I will continue to use through my babies’ first year is online communities. Wonderful support is available from people going through the same thing you are, at the same time. TWINS Magazine has a variety of articles for families with twins and higher multiples, from pregnancy through the kids’ teen years. Another wonderfully informative site is Pregnancy.org. These sites contain invaluable advice, wonderful friends, and when you need it (which you will), shoulders to cry on.

It Really Isn’t That Bad!

My husband still complains about the reactions he receives when he tells people we have twins. Most people respond with something like a moan and a quip: “Oh, just wait!” or “Double the trouble!”

Yet, having twins not only is not as bad as you think it’ll be but is actually better than you ever imagined. Some benefits of having twins include:

• One pregnancy, instant family. If you never want to have kids again, you already have an instant family!

• Two kids, same age. I pity my friends who have one child finally entering school, only to find themselves pregnant again. Now they must again find childcare again, endure the nightmare of getting a baby to sleep through the night, and experience it all while raising another child.

• Their own best friends. When I put my girls down in their crib at night, if one is still awake, she never cries. Why? Because her sister is lying alongside her. They are never alone. This means more free time for mom since they amuse one another.

Having twins doesn’t have to be scary. Support and reference material is out there if you know where to look. You may feel overwhelmed at first at the prospect of having two babies at the same time, but take solace in the fact that twin pregnancies are more common now. And with numbers on the rise, you benefit from having more people available with more knowledge, more resources, and more support.

I never knew, beforehand, the love I would feel when I see my daughters’ two heads pressed up against one another as I dim the nursery light. I know now I’ve given my children more than life itself; I’ve also given them a best friend.

The post What I Wish I Had Known While Pregnant With Twins appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

Nothing was easy about Desiree Childress’s third pregnancy. Soon after she and her husband, Will, learned they were expecting identical twin boys, she experienced severe nausea. Having trouble holding anything down, she became dehydrated and IV lines for fluids were placed.

At about 18 weeks, preterm labor began and strict at-home bed rest prescribed. With two young daughters at home, Tiffany, 9, and Victoria, 5, Desiree found staying off her feet and reducing stress nearly impossible. Five weeks later, she was hospitalized.

Both nurses, Desiree and Will knew that these early complications and a twin pregnancy increased the likelihood of a premature delivery. Over 50% of multiples are born prematurely (before 37 weeks gestation), or weigh less than five and one-half pounds. Many preemie multiples require weeks of hospitalization and special medical attention.

By getting expert care in the hospital, Desiree hoped her babies would arrive close to term, but she also wanted to be prepared for the unexpected. David and Isaiah were born eight weeks early, each weighing a little over three pounds. “You really can’t prepare for the reality of delivering preemies, but knowing what to expect made it a little less overwhelming,” she says.

Julie Medas, a clinical neonatal nurse specialist at MetroHealth Medical Center in Cleveland, Ohio, agrees. She says that learning about the neonatal intensive care nursery (the NICU) and what a preemie looks like “won’t provide comfort, but it will give parents a sense of familiarity should their babies arrive early and need special care.”

Taking a Tour

Medas recommends that parents experiencing pregnancy complications ask for a tour of the NICU and visit a baby of comparable gestational age. “The perception is that seeing a preemie will overwhelm parents, but sometimes the imagination is far worse,” she says.

A neonatologist or a neonatal nurse can explain some of the medical equipment and common problems of preemies. Your hospital may also offer a video or booklet about the NICU. If information becomes stressful, cut your visit short and come back another day.

“The NICU can seem like a foreign land with an unfamiliar language,” says Medas. Take your time to absorb this new world, and don’t be afraid to ask questions. Some suggestions:

* What are visiting hours, and who can visit?
* Will my babies be placed near each other?
* How can I participate in my babies’ care?
* Does the NICU encourage skin-to-skin contact, music therapy, or infant massage?
* Are multiples co-bedded (placed in the same bed)?
* What resources are available to parents of premature babies and multiples?
* Is there a developmental program (occupational and physical therapy) for preemies?
* Is there a place for parents to spend the night?
* Is CPR training offered?

Researching Resources
On bed rest and with time on her hands, Desiree created a notebook of resources she’d need after the twins’ birth: “I made a list of dependable support systems, those who I could really count on like my church to provide meals and sitters my girls really liked.” She also included important names and phone numbers, such as her insurance provider and pediatrician, and she rented a pager so the NICU could reach her.

To find out what services and help you may need following your babies’ birth, talk with your hospital social worker or a nurse. Also, ask if there are any local preemie parent or mothers of multiples support groups: A parent of preemie multiples can offer first-hand advice. Mothers of Supertwins (631-859-1110) and The Triplet Connection (209-474-0885) offer programs and literature to support expectant mothers of multiples.

Desiree joined a mothers of multiples club in her third trimester. “At first, it was scary because all of the mothers of twins in the group had delivered prematurely,” she says, “but it also gave me hope to see that their children were okay, and they offered great support.”

Breastmilk Basics
When you’re coping with pregnancy complications and the risk of premature babies, thinking about breastfeeding can be daunting, to say the least. But learning about breast milk and how it can help your babies is something important you can do for your babies.

“Some doctors consider breast milk a medicine for preemies,” says Medas. Research shows breastmilk is less stressful on a preemie’s digestive system and kidneys, provides important antibodies that fight infection, and protects against allergies.

Babies who are born very small and very sick will not have the ability to breastfeed during their first days or weeks of life, but they can receive breast milk through a feeding tube placed in their nose or mouth. This means mothers have to pump and store their milk. A lactation consultant with knowledge of a preemie’s special needs can provide instruction. Ask your pediatrician, the hospital staff, or the La Leche League (800-525-3243) for a referral. Many NICUs have lending libraries that include breast-feeding books and videos, too.

“Even if you can’t or choose not to breastfeed, you can still provide your babies with the best nutrition possible,” says Medas. And it’s something only you, a mother, can do.

Preemie Parenthood
“I was prepared for the monitors and technology in the NICU, but it was still overwhelming to see those two tiny little babies,” says Desiree. “I couldn’t see their faces because of the wires and tape. I couldn’t hold them or feed them. I felt like I had really lost out.”

If your babies’ birth can’t be delayed and you become a parent of preemie multiples, like Desiree and Will, you’ll face many emotions: guilt, anger, sadness, and fear, to name a few. Having more than one baby adds to the stress: You may have two sets of medical complications to cope with, maybe even two sets of healthcare providers.

Making arrangements for help before your babies’ birth is a good idea (whether or not you delivery prematurely). You’ll need time to take care of yourself so that you’ll have the energy to take care of your babies and family.

After a difficult pregnancy, you’ll also need time to reflect on your losses. To help you cope with your feelings before and after delivery, consider starting a journal, or find someone who listens well (another parent, a social worker, a mental health expert, an Internet chat room (such as the TWINS Magazine Message Board), or a clergy member).

“Remember, feeling is healthy,” says Mara Stein, a Chicago clinical psychologist who delivered twin girls ten weeks early. “But if your feelings start getting in the way of your life, affecting your marriage or other relationships, or you find yourself constantly feeling sad, you may need professional help,” she says. Consult a trained therapist, such as a psychologist, psychiatrist, social worker, or family counselor.

“Becoming a parent of preemies is the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do,” says Desiree, whose twins are now eight months old. “But when I look at David and Isaiah and see them smile, I know it’s all been worth it.”

Amy E. Tracy is the author of The Pregnancy Bed Rest Book (Berkley Trade, 2001), and the co-author of Your Premature Baby and Child (Berkley Trade, 1999). Visit her Web site at www.pregnancybedrest.com.

Who’s Who in the NICU

Neonatologist: a doctor who is specially trained in the care of premature and sick babies
Registered Nurse: has graduated from an accredited school of nursing; these nurses provide much of the daily care of preemies.

Neonatal Nurse Practitioner: a registered nurse who has advanced training in neonatal care.

Clinical Neonatal Nurse Specialist: a registered nurse who has additional neonatal training in patient and nurse education.

Social Worker: can provide information on nonmedical care, such as insurance coverage, emotional support, and transportation.

Respiratory Therapist: a specialist who provides the respiratory needs of ill babies.

Developmental Therapists: help enhance a baby’s physical development.

Medical Specialists: doctors with further specialized training in such areas as the eyes, heart, lungs, and brain.

NICU Baby Books
NICU Notebook: A Parent’s Journal
Available from:
Mothers of Supertwins
PO Box 951
Brentwood, NY 11717
www.mostonline.org
877-434-MOST (6678)

The post Expecting the Unexpected: Preparing for an Early Delivery appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

Congratulations! Welcome to the grand adventure of twin care. If you’re anything like the rest of us parents who have given birth to multiples, it’s likely that you have little on your mind but survival-the babies and your own. You are doing everything you can to maintain a healthy pregnancy. And, you are making practical plans for organizing the household and getting the help you will need to function well in the sleepy fog that comes with the early days and weeks of baby care. As family and friends help you accomplish the practical things on your to-do list, you will begin to feel more in control. Your worries will fade a little. You will begin to believe that you really are going to have twins-or more-and to imagine what life will be like for your babies who are going to be born together.

“How will I bond with both or all of my babies at once?” you may wonder. This is a natural concern for we know that newborns need loving attention in order to thrive. The truth is you can indeed bond with two or more, but the process will be a little different from bonding with one single-born baby. Perhaps your experience won’t meet your expectations of falling equally in love with each of the babies on day one. More than likely your first bond will be with the group. In the early foggy days you will put one foot in front of the other to meet their needs. As one mother recalled, “Our life was a marathon of feeding, changing, burping, walking the floor, then starting all over again. Some days I couldn’t remember which baby had been fed and which one still needed his bath.” Gradually, through the haze of your daily routines, you will being to pick up the clues that each baby gives you about who they are and what they need. Harry may need to be walked for fifteen minutes to settle him down after every feeding. Roger, on the other hand, may fall asleep while nursing and need to have his feet tickled to keep him awake. As you respond to each of their individual needs, you and the babies will learn more about each other and your connections will deepen.

But supposing one or more of the babies has to stay in the hospital longer than the other? What then? How can you bond when your heart is stretched between the baby in the nursery at home and the one in the hospital? One dad explained, “We did our best to give each baby what he needed. We worried day and night about Andy in the hospital. We took turns visiting him and caring for Charlie at home. My mother came and helped with Charlie, too, so that Anne and I could visit Andy together sometimes. Knowing that Charlie was in good hands was a terrific relief.”

It’s true that newborns require consistent loving care, but they won’t mind if does not always come from you. Arrange for the best substitute care you can find. You will have plenty of time to get better acquainted when everyone comes home from the hospital. Remember that bonding is not a single event; it is a process. And you can take heart from the adage that “All good things take time.”

Keep in mind, too, the benefits the babies gain from their relationship. They have already bonded with each other in the womb. Research is beginning to produce evidence that newborn twins are a comfort to each other. The presence of one can even improve the other’s health. You may be able to tap this resource by arranging to bring the well baby for a visit with his or her co-twin in the hospital.

Whether or not your babies come home together or separately, the relationship between them will shape their lives right from the start. They are individuals who are born as members of a team. They will grow up with a strong relationship to the other members of their team. Their relationship bond brings with it life-enhancing possibilities which are seldom enjoyed by single-born children. Soon they will begin to light up with joy at the sight of each other. Their daily companionship during early childhood lays the foundation for lifelong comraderie. Even pairs who have a feisty relationship will come to each other’s defense when another child tries to take away a toy or a stranger is critical of one.

Their close connection also challenges common notions regarding the individuation process. Since they come into the world in a relationship with each other, they will experience and relate to you and the rest of their family both as individuals and as members of their team. They share many early experiences as a team, however, they each have their own perception of those experiences. You will soon discover that they are not the “two little bookends” one mother imagined before her girls were born.

The way parents respond to this reality affects the way multiples see themselves and it affects the way others relate to them, too. Now, before they arrive is a good time to think through the ways in which you will help yourself and others identify each child as an individual. People will have no trouble seeing the babies as a group!

An excellent place to start is with the choice of their names. As you go through the selection process keep in mind that names that are distinctly different from each other, like Susan and Jane, will help people learn who is who. Names that underscore the children’s status as multiples such as ones that begin with the same letter or sound very similar such as, Deanne and Leanne, make it difficult for others to remember which child is which.

Another arena in which you can help keep their identities straight is clothes. Dressed alike your babies will stop traffic for few can resist a peek at multiples. This attention-getting approach to their wardrobes can be fun now and then, but when practiced on a daily basis it submerges the children in their team and reduces the chances of their being treated like the individuals they are. I remember a pair of shy teenage girls who dressed alike every day. When their classmates asked why, they replied in unison, “We’re twins and twins are supposed to dress alike.” How sad for them that their devotion to twinship kept them isolated from their classmates.

All of the above may seem like abstractions until your babies are born and you experience the dynamics of their different personalities. They will quickly teach you about themselves by the ways in which they respond to you and their environment. One may be content to snuggle and sleep for long periods. Another may be wide-eyed and curious, following everything that goes on in the household. You may be surprised and amazed to find that although you are the one providing their nurture and care, they are the ones leading the way.

Patricia Malmstom, Director of Twin Services Consulting, is the co-author of The Art of Parenting Twins (Ballantine Books, 1999) and the mother of four adult children, including monozygotic “identical” twins.

Keys to developing individuality & supporting the twin relationship

• Give each baby what they need when they need it.

• Choose distinctive names.

• Dress babies differently from each other.

• Allow co-multiples to enjoy each other’s company.

• Teach respect for each other’s differences and similarities.

The post The Twin Bond appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

Sherene Silverberg, a marketing consultant, who lives with her husband, Marc, in Norfolk, Virginia, was thrilled to learn one August that she was pregnant for the first time and carrying twins.

Then the stories started.

“It seemed every person I met insisted on telling me a horror story about twin pregnancy, about someone they knew who had a long bed rest, terrible complications, or a premature delivery,” says Silverberg. “I became very fearful that my babies would end up in the neonatal intensive care nursery.”

In fact, multiples are often born prematurely (before 37 weeks’ gestation). “For every additional baby inside the womb, you can deduct three and a half weeks off of your due date,” says Dr. John Elliott, director of maternal-fetal medicine at Good Samaritan Hospital and a partner with Phoenix Perinatal Associates, in Phoenix, Arizona. Twins typically arrive at 36-1?2 weeks, triplets at 33 weeks.

Babies born prematurely are at risk for medical and developmental problems, but “the majority of babies who are born between 34 and 37 weeks have fewer and milder problems,” Dr. Elliott says.

Besides premature birth, “any complication that can happen with a singleton is two times as likely to happen with twins,” says Dr. Elliott. Of primary concern is preterm labor. Mothers carrying multiples are also at increased risk for preeclampsia (high blood pressure that only occurs during pregnancy). Twins are at higher risk for birth defects, too.

The Power of Positive Thinking

Though these statistics are disheartening for mothers-to-be, like Silverberg, Dr. Elliott and other perinatal health experts say there is much a woman can do to increase her chances of delivering healthy babies. One of the most important of these is having a positive attitude: “If you tell a woman that she is not going to succeed, it can negatively affect the outcome,” says Dr. Elliott. “But if you give a woman confidence that she will succeed, you’ll see better results.”

A case in point is Silverberg’s experience. “Hearing those awful stories and reading books about all the bad things that could happen during my pregnancy really messed up my mind,” she says. At sixteen weeks, Silverberg began experiencing mild contractions, which she believes were caused by all the worry and stress. She began seeing a therapist, who helped her focus on the positive and less on the negative, and the contractions stopped.

Silverberg continues to keep her spirits up throughout her days in waiting by listening to relaxation tapes and meditating several times each day. You can also keep a diary of your pregnancy progress, or a journal of your feelings. To stay upbeat, some women practice saying frequent positive affirmations, such as “My babies will arrive healthy and strong.”

Deciding on a Doctor

Finding the right doctor is critical. “Women carrying multiples need to make sure their pregnancy is being treated as a multiple pregnancy, not a singleton pregnancy, and that their practitioner is aware of the special issues concerning multiples,” says Dr. Gila Leiter, assistant clinical professor at Mt. Sinai School of Medicine, in New York City, and author of Everything You Need to Know to Have a Healthy Twin Pregnancy (Dell, 2000). “It’s a warning flag if your doctor says he or she is not going to treat your twin pregnancy any differently.”

You may choose an obstetrician/gynecologist (look for one with experience in multiples) or a perinatologist, a doctor who primarily focuses on high-risk pregnancies. Midwives typically do not care for twin pregnancies. Ask your doctor or hospital if there are any prematurity prevention programs in your area. Some larger communities offer clinics that specialize in multiple births, too.

When choosing your doctor, consider these questions:

• Is it a solo or group practice? Weigh the pros and cons. You’ll get one-on-one attention in a private practice, but your doctor may cancel appointments during deliveries, or even be on vacation when you go into labor. In a group practice, you probably won’t see your primary doctor at every appointment, but all the physicians who may deliver your babies will know your medical history.

• What access does your doctor have to sonography?

• Twin pregnancies typically require frequent ultrasounds.

• How will your doctor monitor this pregnancy? Ask for specifics regarding frequency and content of appointments, and what tests and procedures may be needed.

• What hospital is your doctor affiliated with? You may need a hospital with a nursery that can handle very premature babies?

• Will you be able to call your doctor with concerns and questions (not just emergency calls)? Make sure your doctor welcomes you as part of your medical team.

A Change of Pace

Experts say reducing the stress in your life can also help you carry your twins longer. “I tell women that if they are going to have successful pregnancies, their first job is to be an incubator; anything else they can fit into their lives is a bonus,” says Dr. Elliott.

One of the first things Jennifer Shearin, an automotive engineer, in Rochester Hills, Michigan, did when she found out she was expecting twins at 19 weeks was reduce her workload and notify her employer that she’d probably be going on temporary disability (which she did at 24 weeks).
“I was concerned about how we’d handle finances when the disability payments ran out, but I also knew I needed to eliminate some stress in my life for my babies,” says Shearin. She and her husband, Will, managed money concerns by eliminating “recreational shopping,” delaying the purchase of a new car, and cutting back on dining out.

When her blood pressure went up late in her pregnancy, Shearin rested more, napped frequently, and avoided anything strenuous, such as grocery shopping. Her babies, Emma and Olivia, were born four and a half weeks before their due date, but without any long-term health problems.

Most doctors do not prescribe bed rest as preventative treatment; however, bed rest at home or in the hospital may be prescribed if you experience complications, such as preterm labor. “A lot of studies say bed rest doesn’t work to prevent preterm birth, but bed rest is useful in high-risk situations in helping to decrease uterine activity and to get pressure off the lower uterine area,” says Dr. Leiter. (For more on bed rest, see What To Do If You’re Sent to Bed.)

Nutritional Needs

Since twins often arrive preterm, it’s important for you to gain weight early in your pregnancy. “It’s been well studied that a mother’s good nutrition and proper weight gain increases the birth weight of a baby, and the higher the weight at birth, the better a baby does,” says Dr. Leiter, who gave birth to twin girls more than a decade ago.

But gaining weight can be a challenge for multiple moms who often experience excessive nausea and vomiting. To reduce nausea, Dr. Leiter suggests consuming products with ginger (ginger ale, ginger tea, and ginger preserves) in small amounts (too much ginger may be harmful). Also, try eating dry crackers and cereal and drinking flat noncaffeinated soda. Consult your doctor about other methods to reduce nausea, including hypnosis, “relief bands” that stimulate acupressure points on the wrists, and medication. To maintain calories, eat frequent small meals throughout the day and stay hydrated by drinking water and juice.

You’ll also need to make sure you get the most nutrition from the food you do consume. Two essentials in your diet should be protein (red meat, rice and beans, nuts, and dairy products) and calcium (four glasses of milk per day or the equivalent). Ask your doctor or a dietitian for nutritional guidelines and if supplements might be needed. “Nutrition is not a minor issue during a multiple pregnancy,” says Dr. Leiter. “Women need to seek the advise of an expert.”

Silverberg knows the importance of eating well for her babies. She avoids soda and artificial sweeteners, and prepares all meals from scratch. “I believe that everything I eat and do impacts these two little souls,” says Silverberg. “It’s such an awesome responsibility, and I plan on doing as good a job as I possibly can.”

Amy E. Tracy is the author of The Pregnancy Bed Rest Book(Berkley Trade, 2001). Visit her Web site at www.pregnancybedrest.com

The post Carrying Twins to Term appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

Feeding

For any feeding method you use, feed them together. I had been intending to breastfeed, but ultimately ended up bottle feeding. When my partner first went back to work, I would feed them one at a time. One would be screaming while the other had their bottle. It was stressful for all of us. Then another twin mum told me how she propped hers up with cushions so she could feed them at the same time. Perhaps if I hadn’t been so sleep deprived I could have thought of this myself? So I put them in their car seats on the sofa and fed them together. No waiting, no tears, genius! The other mother, not me!

Routines Routine, routine, routine.

From a very early age mine had a routine. They were fed at the same time, napped at the same time, played at the same time, we went for a walk after lunch at the same time which was also a nap time, and went to bed at the same time. Funny enough, a mother of a singleton said to me that this must involve a lot of crying. Perhaps it sounded very regimented. I wasn’t a believer in crying it out, so this wasn’t the case, and if you get a feel for what your babies do naturally, getting them on a routine can happen quite cohesively and naturally. The routine will change and adapt every couple of months as they change, but I found the structure helped me to organize myself, prevented me from getting overwhelmed in chaos, and allowed the babies to feel secure.

Quality time

Don’t worry about quality time when they are infants. Obviously it’s nice, when there is two adults around and they can have extra cuddles, or you can go a bit further afield more easily, but don’t worry that you aren’t doing swimming classes, or any other class. Of course there are ways around these hurdles, but don’t put yourself under unnecessary pressure. Your babies are happy just to hang out with you, walk through the park, have a dance party at home, go for coffee. They have you, and they have each other. They don’t need to be adding to the special skills section of their C.V at 5 months old.

Prematurity

If your twins are born prematurely, you might want to read up a little on that. Mine were born 5 weeks early and I really didn’t know anything about it. My best baby- mama friend had a full term singleton, who could put his pacifier in and out of his mouth all by himself, while we were at coffee, while mine were always fast asleep in the buggy (bonus, really). Don’t compare what a full term baby does to a premature baby. It usually all evens out pretty quickly, or there may be things that show up in the future. For instance, my daughter is hyper-mobile which was picked up on by a physiotherapist when she was only 6 months. This has affected some of her fine and gross motor skills. However, we can’t say for sure this was because she was born prematurely or not.

Stages

Every stage moves on. Sometimes when you’re in the thick of it, especially in a first year with twins, it can feel as if this stage is how your life will always be, and that can be overwhelming. So remember, if your twins don’t sleep through the night yet, or you’re alone a lot and your friends don’t understand what you’re going through, or whichever stage you’re at, ‘this too shall pass’. These stages, especially in the first year, move past so quickly as I mentioned before in the routines section. Just when you think you can’t go on any more, they’ll start sleeping through the night, or you’ll meet a new friend etc., or they’ll start sitting up and playing differently, and life will change all over again.

You’re just fine as you are, and you are perfect to your babies

Look After Yourself

People like to say ‘if Mums not happy, the kids won’t be happy’. That’s a little harsh if you are feeling unhappy, so don’t be hard on yourself. But, I do believe it’s O.K. to be selfish. Take time for yourself. Take time out. Keep something for yourself that makes you feel good, whether that’s yoga, a trip to the cinema, painting, work, or something where you can express yourself. It’s important to keep nourishing yourself, because motherhood can be overwhelming and you really can feel that you’ve lost your self. You’re still you. Don’t worry, you haven’t lost anything, only gained. You don’t have to be the perfect Mum either, you’re just fine as you are, and you are perfect to your babies. The first year goes so fast, it really is only 12 months of little infants before you drift on to toddler hood.

Good luck Mama, you can do it

The post Tips for Twins in their First Year appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

Inside the perfect diaper bag

What most MOMs will tell you is that your diaper bag will often be your lifeline and source of sanity. Here is our insider look at the perfectly packed diaper bag for twin moms to be. 

While most of these are fairly intuitive, some experienced MoM’s have chimed in and offered up some unexpected ideas for what MUST be in your baby bag.

Must have’s

These are probably pretty obvious but be sure you have the following diaper bag staples. 

• At least 10 diapers
• Pack of baby wipes
• 4 changes of clothes 
• Spare receiving blankets 
• Bibs 
• Diaper changing mat 
• Depending on your babies age, developmentally appropriate toys are key
• Health items including gripe water, acetaminophen, gas drops and whatever else your babies need at home 
• Snacks for babies 
• Hand sanitizer 
• Plastic bags 
• Bottles, plus formula or expressed milk  
• Pacifier or blankie 
• Diaper cream or ointment 
• Sippy cups 

Things to consider

These are things that you might find come in handy in a variety of situations. 

• A change of clothes for yourself 
• A backup pack of wet wipes 
• Snacks for you 
• Sunscreen
• Baby carrier or sling 
• First aid kit 
• Nursing cover 
• Disposable placemats 
• Crayons and coloring pages
• Board books 
• Hats for babies 
• Important phone numbers 

Surprisingly helpful

Finally, a few things that other MOMs have noted as helpful to keep handy. 

• Pen and paper 
• Book or magazine in case you find a spare moment 
• Identification
• Chapstick, lotion and other MOM essentials 
• Emergency contact information 
• A wet bag 
• Bottle of water 
• Sunglasses
• Phone charger 
• Things that would normally be in your purse 
• Cash (just in case) 

Not every piece of equipment is necessary for every family so think through what works for you. It is also important to keep in mind that packing and repacking a diaper bag is an ongoing process. As you use the contents of your bag, you will need to regularly replenish. 

Try to get into the habit of repacking your diaper bag at least once a week so you are never caught without your essentials. 

The post Must-haves for the perfect diaper bag appeared first on TWINS Magazine.