Twins and then some

As all twin parents know, this isn’t a walk in the park. This twin parenting stuff requires prowess, strength, resilience and a good sense of humour. For some of us though, there’s an additional spike in the daily workload and pressure of life. Bringing twins into a house with other kids is not for the faint-hearted. It’s a phenomenally challenging job, one that requires planning, compromise and on many days, a simple smile and graceful acceptance of defeat.

I hope this provides some practical, achievable tips for coping with the extra pressure the school year brings.

New term, new promises, new realities

As the leaves turn golden and the nights grow cooler, the new school year offers the annual promise of new beginnings and hope to parents. This is the year we won’t miss a beat, we’ll make school on time every day, we’ll never forget a pack up, a trip or a test. They’ll be tumble free, drama free, without angst or fear. We will greet our happy, confident, curious kids every day and hear their bright and brilliant stories of the adventures school brings. And most importantly, we will meet all their needs. They won’t be compromised by the addition of twins. They won’t resent the time the twins take up but instead see the joy in every step of this journey.

Yeah. Good luck with that. As Halloween approaches, for many of us moms of multiples, the wheels are already falling off of that rosy outlook. Last night it took all my strength to smile as I was trying to help my 9-year-old with his mental arithmetic homework. Dusting off my rusty old brain cells was a sizeable enough task. Throw in bouncing a baby on one knee, using the other leg to keep another from eating the biscuits in the dog bowl and trying to show appropriate praise for my 5-year-old daughters homespun (and incredibly loud) production of The Greatest Showman… well, come on. Seriously. Is this for real?

Somehow as ever, we all survived. Despite some slight friction and debate, in the end, each child got from their A to their B. Everyone was fed, washed and snuggled up in bed. Albeit some more compromised than others.

So today we regroup. We revisit some of the self-taught mantras that help in times of stress. We accept that we must have rough with the smooth. We remember that we are warriors. We were given this job because we can champion it. We remember that with a little planning and thought, we can show them all our affection. Most of all we remember that love will out.

If you wake some days with a faint fear of what lies ahead, try some of these simple coping techniques.

Here are 7 tips for coping with school and twins

1. Schedule a 30-minute end of day prep time

At the end of every day, no matter how bad that last shift went, you need to reboot and get organised for tomorrow. Give yourself every head start possible for the following day.

 Make sure you have their timetables and homework schedules on the fridge. Check what kit, homework and ‘stuff’ you’re meant to have lined up by the front door.
 Make any packed lunches before bed.
 Get your own clothes out for the next day. You can calmly control your decisions when everyone has gone to bed. Getting your head around a simple thing like what to wear can make a huge difference in your confidence and starting attitude for the day.

 Lay their clothes by their doors and get each child their own hook in the hallway, making sure their hats, shoes, bags are ready to scoop up as you leave.
 Check and reload your baby bag. Get baby clothes, nappies, any baby equipment ready to go with the older children’s gear.

Don’t take more than 30 minutes over this. You can do it. Tidy, organise, prepare and then stop.

2. Give yourself permission

Give yourself permission to take some smart shortcuts. You will be forgiven for cheating on the home-made bread, cakes and flapjacks for a while. You can punch in name labels rather than sew. You can skip sending your donations to the cake bake this term. You can lean on friends for a lift to school.

Give yourself permission to be less than perfect for a while, to take a helping hand and to opt out from things from time to time.

3. Spot gaps and make changes

If you step back and take a practical, dispassionate look at the separate processes in your day, it’ll be easier to see those that are working and those that need improvement. Remove the emotion from the equation and work out all the processes involved in getting from the start of the day to the end. This may include the school run, feeding the babies, taking the dog out, running the grocery errands, picking up from school, running to clubs etc. We all have our ways of getting things done, some of which will be working well, some which are barely functioning and some which just go to pot every day.

Take a solution-based approach and work out how to plug the gaps. Nothing needs to be permanent because let’s face it, once you’ve got it nailed, a logistic will change, a club will be added to the list or a child will U-turn on you for no expected reason. However, think about the here and now and what you need to do to make each process function best.

Do you have friends with teenage children who could help you with a homework buddy system for an hour a day, or mind one child while you run another to a club? Can you throw your dog on a neighbour’s dog walk for a little while or take the stroller with you for the dog walks? Can you get a friend to do pick up on allotted days? Can you swap dinner times with a friend so that you both gain from a child-free window when your schedule needs it?

Try it, make a few tweaks so that you can even out the load and operate more efficiently.

4. Create daily 1 on 1 time

It’s a fact you are acutely aware of, but every child in the mix needs you, and they need you in different ways. It’s easy to focus on those who shout the loudest, taking the path of least resistance and getting by in whatever way you can. But if you make a promise to give each of the big ones just 10 or 15 minutes before bed, you can rest easy that you’re giving them real quality you time.

Ask them what the best part of the day was. Ask them what tomorrow is going to bring and what they look forward to. Allow them to release the harder parts of every day before bed and recap on what makes life interesting and inspiring.

They won’t clock the time you spend but they’ll find comfort in the consistency of you always saving a little bit of energy and space for them.

5. Don’t throw money (or sugar) at it

It’s easy to feel sorry for the big ones, to get a sense that you are not playing enough, not listening enough, not interesting or even awake enough. But don’t let the guilt lead you to an unhealthy place where you take shortcuts to show you care. You are a good parent; you can make time and you do care. Don’t feel the need to throw more toys or sugary treats to maintain the love, affection and favour of your children.

Kids are resilient. Be consistent and keep good strong values or you’ll spoil them and need to honour this exchange and materialism for a (very) long time.

6. Don’t compare yourselves to others

Everyone else’s lives seem simpler right now. Do not make comparisons, it’ll crush you! You need to get focused on your own shizzle and leave the other parents to it.

I’ve often made the mistake of reading the banter on the school mom group chat and feeling bad about myself. Parents with fewer children have more time to review and debate the issues surrounding their children. They can chit-chat (seemingly endlessly!) about what to put in the school snacks, what to wear on the trips and compare notes on reading levels.

Don’t get sucked into the detail or you’ll end up resenting their space and forcing yourself into a low ebb. Parenting twins is what it is. It’s busy, it’s hard, but it’s also brilliant and rewarding. Just keep afloat and don’t listen to any external chat that can take you off you’re A-game.

7. Pause, smile and reflect

Above all else, take a moment every day to smile about your beautiful brood. Think about the funny things they said and the little quirks they have that make them special. Most people haven’t got a clue about how tough a gig this is. But don’t forget that soon, these bonkers, crazy, muddled up, messed up days will become the ‘the good old days – the moments you struggle to recall a bunch of years from now. One day our hearts will ache to be this important, this busy and this loved.

Remember to reflect and save a little praise for yourself. You are doing a great job. You are a champion. Keep at it tiger, tomorrow is and always will be another fresh day.

About the Author

[author] [author_image timthumb=’on’]https://twinsmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/icon.jpg[/author_image] [author_info]Laura O’Shaughnessy is a mother of four, including one-year-old twin girls. She writes about family, food, society, and life. She lives with her family and faithful sheepdog in Yorkshire, England. https://lauraoshaughnessy.wordpress.com/[/author_info] [/author]

The post Tips for coping with twin babies and school-age siblings appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

Breastfeeding twins has many advantages for both the mother and baby.

Breastfeeding strengthens the baby’s immune system and reduces the incidence of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). It is also a great way for mother and child to bond.

Breastfeeding twins can seem overwhelming to a new mom, but thousands of new mothers successfully breastfed their twins every day.

These tips will help you to be successful from day one.

1. Get a Lactation Consultant

As soon as you arrive in your Postpartum room after giving birth, ask to see the Lactation Consultant. As a mother of twins, you will be a priority for her.

She will sit with you and teach you exactly how to get each of your babies to latch correctly onto your breast. Learning how to do this from the very first feeding is important.

If your babies do not latch correctly, breastfeeding twins can be painful and your babies will not be able to feed efficiently.

That is the number one reason responsible for issues with breastfeeding twins.

Nowadays all Lactation Consultants receive training on teaching mothers how to breastfeed twins, so she will be able to help you with different positions and issues particular to twins.

2. Find a Lactation Consultant in Your Area

Before giving birth, you may want to find a lactation consultant in your area, so you can make an appointment to see her once you have been released from the hospital. Many will come out to your home to continue to help you after you leave the hospital.

3. Get in a Comfortable Breastfeeding Position.

The position is very important when breastfeeding twins. There are many positions mothers prefer when breastfeeding twins and there is no one right way.

The positions for breastfeeding twins should allow you to relax your back and neck. Your posture of choice should allow easy digestion while the babies suckle.

You may find a number of positions helpful at different times. The goal is to try different positions until you find the ones that work best for you and your twins.

4. Get a Comfortable Breastfeeding Pillow

Get a special breastfeeding pillow designed for twins.

The My Brest Friend Supportive Nursing Pillow For Twins 0-12 Months, Plus-Size is the most useful breastfeeding pillow for twins.

It is soft and provides plenty of room for both babies. The strap is also awesome, as it keeps the pillow in place while you move your twins around and help them latch on correctly.

Colors: Light Green (Pictured), Dark Grey, Light Grey, Fireworks, and Black and White

Lowest Price: Amazon.com

Price: $58.04- $67.99

5. Wear Easy Access Nursing Tops and Nursing Bras.

In the beginning, you will find soft, comfortable 2-in-1 nursing tops with built-in bras to be extremely useful. While you are learning how to nurse twins and your twins are feeding to often, you will find yourself constantly needing to expose your breast to feed. These tops also make it simple to breastfeed both twins at the same time.

Caramel Cantina 3 Pack Women’s Nursing Cami Built-in Bra is a great 2-in-1 soft tank top and nursing bra. You can wear it by itself or under another loose top. It comes in many sizes and colors, thus matching everything. You will want to buy at least a few packs of these because in the beginning, milk will leak and babies will spit up on you.

Colors: Black, White and Charcoal (3 Pack), Navy, Burgundy and Teal (3 Pack), Black (3 Pack)

Lowest Price: Amazon.com

Price: $36.99 (Pack of three)

Having plenty of comfortable nursing bras is also important. When your milk supply is first coming in and your twins are learning how to breastfeed, it will messy. You will find yourself often needing to change your bra. You will also need to wear a bra all the time in the beginning because your breasts will leak milk.

Therefore, you will want to have comfortable bras you can wear all day and night.

The 3 PACK Full Bust Seamless Nursing Maternity Bras with Extenders & Clips is the perfect nursing bra bundle.

We recommend you buy at least three of these packs to get started. The extender will be great right after you give birth before you lose your pregnancy and while your milk supply is adjusting. The clips allow you to connect the two straps in the back to hide them when wear tank tops or other sleeveless shirts.

Colors: Black, Pink & Nude (3 Pack), Nude (3 Pack), Black (3 Pack), Black, Grey & Nude (3 Pack)

Lowest Price: Amazon.com

Price: $36.99 (Pack of three)

6. Start with One Twin at a Time

As a new parent or one who is having your first pair of twins, it is advisable that you start gradually, with a twin at a time to the breast.

Once each twin is latching properly and you feel comfortable, start trying to feed the other twin at the same time.

Be patient with yourself and know you will master breastfeeding twins at the same time. It is a skill like any other and simply requires practice.

7. Use a Breastpump Only When Necessary

Before you consider using a breast pump, be sure it is needed.

Mothers panic, saying their breasts don’t produce much milk and they are afraid they are not making enough for the twins.

it takes a few days for your milk to come in. The most effective way to establish a strong milk supply is to latch them properly and encourage your twins to feed often.

The woman lactation process actually generates more milk with the demands placed by the suckling mouth(s). Breast pumps are just not as effective at expelling milk from the breast.

In the early days, encourage your twins to breastfeed often. These early days will determine how much milk your body makes. It is a supply and demand system established during the first days. That is also why learning how to latch your twins on is so important from the beginning.

So, before you go for a pumping aid, be sure you need it.

When it is time to begin pumping, we recommend you use the Medela Pump in Style Advanced Double Electric Breast Pump with On the Go Tote.

It is an awesome all-in-one system.

Medela is the most well-known and recommended brand on the market. All of their products come with a lifetime warranty and their service department is excellent.

While the bag this breast pump comes with may not be your first choice, this bundle is a great deal and has everything you will need to immediately begin pumping.

Lowest Price: Amazon.com

Price: $190.93

8. Alternate the kids to the breast

Each of the twins might have different appetite and sucking behavior.

Therefore, alternate which twin feeds from each breast with every feeding. A great way to remember which twin fed from each breast is to wear a simple bracelet or hair tie on your wrist. Assign the hair tie to Twin A. After you have completed breastfeeding your twins, move the hair tie to the other wrist. This will tell you that Twin A should feed on that breast during the next feeding.

9. Get Rest

You need as much rest as you can get.

When your newborn twins are sleeping, you should sleep, as well.

Ask friends and family members to keep up with the daily tasks around the house.

In the early days, your task is to heal your body from birth, breastfeed and care for your new twins. That is a full-time job. Everything else can wait.

10. Ask for Help

Neighbors, friends, co-workers, and family are great helpers in the early days. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Hiring a Postpartum Doula is also an excellent choice.

Postpartum Doulas can help you care for your newborn twins, clean your house, cook and help organize the help of others in your life.

11. Eat and Drink Frequently

Think of your body as just recovering from running a marathon.

Labor is exhausting and you have lost a lot of blood. Now you are trying to make food for two little people.

Allow yourself to eat foods you are craving. Your body may need more salt, protein or fats to recover.

In the early days, we drank lots of Ensure High Protein Nutrition Shake with 16 grams of high-quality protein, Meal Replacement Shakes.

We loved them because they did not contain milk and thus did not need to remain refrigerated. We kept them on our nightstand and drank them during the night when we woke up hungry.

Product Details:

Flavors: Chocolate, Strawberry, and Vanilla

Price: $31.94 for 24 8oz Bottles

Lowest Price: Amazon.com

Drinking lots of water is one of the best ways to ensure your body will produce enough milk.

Breast milk is composed of 90% water.

During birth and for days after giving birth, your body will lose a lot of blood. Blood is composed mostly of water. Therefore, you will likely be extremely dehydrated.

One of the biggest factors that will affect your milk supply in the early days is your water intake. This is a crucial time as your body is figuring out how much milk to make for your twins. If you are severely dehydrated in the early days, your body will not establish the correct amount of milk supply.

You will probably notice that soon after you begin breastfeeding your twins you will become thirsty. The oxytocin that your body releases during breastfeeding is responsible for triggering your thirst. This is your body’s natural way of ensuring that you are getting enough water to make breast milk.

As soon as you can, begin rehydrating your body. This can easily be done simply with water. During breastfeeding one baby, you should drink an extra quart, or 32 ounces, per day.

12. Start Preparing Before Your Twins Arrive.

Preparation is key. Create a plan now to ensure you will have all of the tools and people in place when your twins arrive.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. People who love you will want to feel needed and your twins will benefit from it, as well.

The post 12 Tips for Breastfeeding Twins appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

Also Read: 5 tips to advocate for your children’s education

How can I help support my child’s education?

Listen to the teachers and share your own expectations for the school year. Your twins’ success rely on a strong sense of respect and partnership between all of the people involved in their education.

What is your homework philosophy?

Studies show that parents should be engaged in the process of learning at home, beyond simply monitoring whether or not the students are doing homework. Ask your kids’ teachers how you can best keep track of their progress on an ongoing basis, and how you can support their classroom learning from home.

What are the best ways for me to help in the classroom?

If you have the time, volunteers for class trips or fundraisers are always appreciated. Teachers are also always grateful for donations of supplies: tissue boxes, hand sanitizer, art supplies, and books are some things their classroom may need.

How do you prefer to be contacted?

Email, text, social media, oh my! With so many options available, please ask which method the teacher prefers for communication.

Open lines of communication between parents and teachers are essential to student success. You should understand a teacher’s preferred method of contact and use it often. It’s also important to respect boundaries while staying engaged. Your children will reap the benefits of a collaborative and supportive parent-teacher relationship.
.

Any do’s and don’ts parents should know ahead of each of their twins’ parent-teacher conferences?

Do ask questions.
Do get involved.
Don’t feel overwhelmed or guilty if you have limited time.
Do explain your twins’ individual learning styles and any educational strengths and challenges they may have.
Don’t forget to listen to the teacher.

What should parents be doing to establish a good channel of communication with their twins’ teacher(s)?

Open lines of communication between parents and teachers are essential to student success. You should understand a teacher’s preferred method of communication and use it often. It’s also important to respect boundaries of communication while staying engaged.

What is the biggest challenge teachers face in the classroom?

Teaching is often a ratio of 1:30or higher. Having you involved puts one more person in the educator column. This is essential.

What happens at home has an immense, often underappreciated impact on a child’s ability to learn in the classroom. Establishing morning and evening routines, getting enough sleep, feeding the kids a healthy breakfast and lunch, and making sure they aren’t stressed when they arrive at school are all invaluable.

How can parents best use what they learn during parent-teacher conferences to help each of their twins?

Follow through on what you discuss with the teacher. So often, parents receive a lot of handouts and information and file it away in a drawer, never to be visited again. It’s important for you to apply what you learn at parent-teacher conferences to understand how your kids are performing now and how to support future learning.

Hilary Scharton is the Vice President of K-12 Product Strategy for Canvas, the open online learning management system (LMS) that makes teaching and learning easier. In her role, she sets the strategic vision for how Canvas makes its products even more awesome for students and teachers across the globe, while focusing on leveraging technology to support improved instruction and equitable access for all students.

The post 8 questions teachers wish parents would ask in Parent-Teacher conferences appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

Being first-time parents raising twin babies can be daunting but Mom of twins, Anne Marshall shares some thoughts on making that important first year with your twins as enriching as possible.

For any Feeding Method You Use, Feed Them Together

I had been intending to breastfeed, but ultimately ended up bottle feeding.

When my partner first went back to work, I would feed them one at a time. One would be screaming while the other had their bottle.

It was stressful for all of us.

Then another twin mum told me how she propped hers up with cushions, so she could feed them at the same time. Perhaps if I hadn’t been so sleep deprived I could have thought of this myself? So, I put them in their car seats on the sofa and fed them together.

No waiting, no tears, genius! – the other mother, not me!

Routine, Routine, Routine

From a very early age, I decided to establish a routine for raising my twins.

They were fed at the same time, napped at the same time, played at the same time, we went for a walk after lunch at the same time which was also a nap time, and went to bed at the same time.

Funny enough, a mother of a singleton said to me that this must involve a lot of crying. Perhaps it sounded very regimented. I wasn’t a believer in crying it out, so this wasn’t the case, and if you get a feel for what your babies do naturally, getting them on a routine can happen quite cohesively and naturally.

The routine will change and adapt every couple of months as they change, but I found the structure helped me to organize myself, prevented me from getting overwhelmed in chaos, and allowed the babies to feel secure.

Don’t Worry About Quality Time When They are Infants

Obviously, it’s nice, when there are two adults around and they can have extra cuddles, or you can go a bit further afield more easily, but don’t worry that you aren’t doing swimming classes or any other class.

Of course, there are ways around these hurdles, but don’t put yourself under unnecessary pressure.

Your twins are happy just to hang out with you, walk through the park, have a dance party at home, go for coffee. They have you, and they have each other.

They don’t need to be adding to the special skills section of their C.V at 5 months old.

If Your Twins are Born Prematurely, You Might Want to Read Up on That

Mine twins were born 5 weeks early and I really didn’t know anything about it.

My best baby- mama friend had a full-term singleton, who could put his pacifier in and out of his mouth all by himself, while we were at coffee, while mine were always fast asleep in the buggy (bonus, really).

Don’t compare what a full-term baby does to a premature baby. It usually all evens out quickly, or there may be things that show up in the future. For instance, my daughter is hyper-mobile which was picked up on by a physiotherapist when she was only 6 months.

This has affected some of her fine and gross motor skills. However, we can’t say for sure this was because she was born prematurely or not.

Every Stage Moves On

Sometimes when you’re in the thick of it, especially in a first year with twins, it can feel as if this stage is how your life will always be, and that can be overwhelming.

So, remember, if your twins don’t sleep through the night yet, or you’re alone a lot and your friends don’t understand what you’re going through, or whichever stage you’re at, ‘this too shall pass’.

These stages, especially in the first year of raising twins, move past so quickly as I mentioned before in the routines section. Just when you think you can’t go on anymore, they’ll start sleeping through the night, or you’ll meet a new friend etc., or they’ll start sitting up and playing differently, and life will change all over again.

Look After Yourself

People like to say, ‘if Mums not happy, the kids won’t be happy’.

That’s a little harsh if you are feeling unhappy, so don’t be hard on yourself. But, I do believe it’s O.K. to be selfish.

Take time for yourself. Take time out.

Keep something for yourself that makes you feel good, whether that’s yoga, a trip to the cinema, painting, work, or something where you can express yourself. It’s important to keep nourishing yourself because motherhood can be overwhelming, and you really can feel that you’ve lost your self. You’re still you. Don’t worry, you haven’t lost anything, only gained.

You don’t have to be the perfect Mum either, you’re just fine as you are, and you are perfect to your babies. The first year goes so fast, it really is only 12 months of little infants before you drift on to toddler-hood.

Good luck Mama, you can do it

Anne Marshall is a mother of 4 including twins and blogs on Huff Post, Parents U.K about twins, raising multiples and more, mothers, society etc. She currently resides in Cardiff, Wales.

The post 6 Useful Tips for Raising Twins in Their First Year appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

There are a few things you can do to prepare for your twins and ensure that you will be successful at breastfeeding them.

You CAN Breastfeed Your Twins

When I was pregnant with my twins, friends and even nurses would take one look at my breasts and my small physique and say, “There is no way your little body will be able to make enough milk to feed twins! You should stock up on formula now!”

I felt defeated before I had even begun.

However, I was determined to master breastfeeding twins and so I decided to learn everything I could about breastfeeding and get a plan in place for the day my boys arrived.

I am pleased to say my little 130lb body (when pregnant) gave birth to two healthy little boys and I breastfed them for 20 months.

The reason I was so successful was in large part to these 10 tips. While many well-meaning people will complicate breastfeeding, it is a very innate, natural action and one you can expect to quickly learn and feel comfortable with.

1. Use a Breastfeeding Pillow Designed for Feeding Twins.

My Brest Friend Supportive Nursing Pillow For Twins 0-12 Months, Plus-Size was the most helpful tool of all. It is soft and provides plenty of room for both babies. The strap is also awesome, as it keeps the pillow in place while you move your twins around and help them latch on correctly.

Colors: Light Green (Pictured), Dark Grey, Light Grey, Fireworks, and Black and White

Lowest Price: Amazon.com

Price: $58.04- $67.99

Amazon Rating:

2. Wear Easy Access Nursing Tops and Nursing Bras.

In the beginning, you will find soft, comfortable 2-in-1 nursing tops with built-in bras to be extremely useful. While you are learning how to breastfeed your twins and your twins are feeding to often, you will find yourself constantly needing to expose your breast to feed. These tops also make it simple to breastfeed both twins at the same time.

Caramel Cantina 3 Pack Women’s Nursing Cami Built in Bra is a great 2-in-1 soft tank top and nursing bra. You can wear it by itself or under another loose top. It comes in many sizes and colors, thus matching everything. You will want to buy at least a few packs of these because in the beginning, milk will leak and babies will spit up on you.

Colors: Black, White and Charcoal (3 Pack), Navy, Burgundy and Teal (3 Pack), Black (3 Pack)

Lowest Price: Amazon.com

Price: $36.99 (Pack of three)

Amazon Rating:

Having plenty of comfortable nursing bras is also important. When your milk supply is first coming in and your twins are learning how to breastfeed, it will messy. You will find yourself often needing to change your bra. You will also need to wear a bra all the time in the beginning because your breasts will leak milk.

Therefore, you will want to have comfortable bras you can wear all day and night.

The 3 PACK Full Bust Seamless Nursing Maternity Bras with Extenders & Clips is the perfect nursing bra bundle.

We recommend you buy at least three of these packs to get started. The extender will be great right after you give birth before you lose your pregnancy and while your milk supply is adjusting. The clips allow you to connect the two straps in the back to hide them when wear tank tops or other sleeveless shirts.

Colors: Black, Pink & Nude (3 Pack), Nude (3 Pack), Black (3 Pack), Black, Grey & Nude (3 Pack)

Lowest Price: Amazon.com

Price: $36.99 (Pack of three)

Amazon Rating:

3. Have Plenty of Breast Pads and Nipple Cream on Hand.

When your milk first comes in and your twins begin breastfeeding twins, your body may make more milk than your twins will need. Often, mother’s of twins find their breasts leak a lot in the beginning.

Breastpads will absorb the leaking milk and keep wet stains from appearing on your clothing.

There are two main types of breast pads new mothers can choose between: disposable and reusable.

Disposable breast pads are intended for one time use. Reusable breast pads can be washed and reused.

Lansinoh Nursing Pads, 4 Packs of 60 (240 count) Stay Dry Disposable Breast Pads are by far the most well-known and most absorbent breast pads. We suggest you buy them in bulk because you will use quite a few during the first few months.

Lowest Price: Amazon.com

Price: $28.48

Amazon Rating:

If reusable breast pads seem to be your preferred choice, the Organic Bamboo Nursing Pads (14 Pack)+Laundry Bag & Travel Bag bundle is a great choice. Reusable breast pads will end up saving you a lot of money, but you must be willing to do some extra laundry.

Lowest Price: Amazon.com

Price: $12.99

Amazon Rating:

When you and your twin babies are first learning to breastfeed, the babies often do not latch properly. This can cause you nipples to become sore and sometimes cracked. By keeping your nipples lubricated with a good nipple cream, they will heal more quickly and help you and your twins quickly experience the joys of nursing.

We have found Motherlove Nipple Cream Certified Organic Salve for Sore Cracked Nursing Nipples to be the best and safest on the market. It is 100% organic and cruelty-free in their testing practices. It is all natural and doesn’t need to be washed off before breastfeeding.

Lowest Price: Amazon.com

Price: $10.40

Amazon Rating:

4. Use a Quality Breast Pump

One of the items moms of twins should invest in is a hospital grade breast pump. Even if you are not planning on bottle feeding your twins in the beginning, a breast pump may be needed if one of your twins needs to stay in the hospital after birth or if you want to increase your milk supply.

The Medela Pump in Style Advanced Double Electric Breast Pump with On the Go Tote is an awesome all-in-one system. Medela is the most well-known and recommended brand on the market. All of their products come with a lifetime warranty and their service department is excellent.

While the bag this breast pump comes with may not be your first choice, this bundle is a great deal and has everything you will need to immediately begin pumping.

Lowest Price: Amazon.com

Price: $190.93

Amazon Rating:

5. Meet with a Lactation Consultant as Soon as Your Twins are Born.

As soon as your twins are born, you will be moved into a postpartum room. That is when you should immediately ask to see a Lactation Consultant.

The Lactation Consultant will help you learn how to hold each twin, get them to open their mouths wide and latch properly. By getting this teaching during your very first feeding, you will save yourself from pain and frustration. While you may feel extremely excited about breastfeeding your new babies, we highly recommend, you wait for the Lactation Consultant.

Generally, as a mother of twins, she will try to come see you as soon as you arrive in your room. She will sit with you and warmly walk you through the process of breastfeeding your twins.

Throughout your stay, we suggest you ask the Lactation Consultant to periodically observe you while you breastfeed each of your twins.

During the first days, be patient with yourself and your babies as you all learn together.

Before leaving the hospital, the Lactation Consultant should provide you with the number to a consultant in your area. You can also look up Lactation Consultants in your area here.

6. Master Breastfeeding One Twin at a Time.

When you are first learning how to breastfeed your twins, we recommend you feed them one at a time until they are both latching on correctly. This usually takes 4 or five days.

The Lactation Consultant will help you know when you are ready to begin feeding your twins at the same time. While you may feel motivated to quickly begin feeding them together, it will be much easier if you take your time and focus on each individual twin first. You will have many amazing months of feeding them at the same time.

6. Learn to Breastfeed Your Twins Together.

As soon as you feel comfortable feeding each of them individually, it is time to learn how to breastfeed them at the same time. This might seem difficult at first, but it will save you hours each day while your twins are eating every few hours.

When your twins are first born, they will sleep often and very soundly. In order to get them on the same schedule, we let the first twin to awaken determine when to feed them both.

When one twin wakes up hungry, gently wake the other one as well. It may be difficult at first to get the second one to wake up, but once they are both awake, offering them each a breast. Almost always, they will both feed.

If you continue to wake the second twin up when the first one is hungry, you will quickly get your twins on the same schedule. It will be an amazing feeling when this process begins to become easy. You will get more sleep and your breasts will both be emptied at the same time.

As your twins get older and begin to develop head control, breastfeeding them becomes even easier. The early days of breastfeeding are the hardest, but going slowly and taking the time to use proper techniques and practices will benefit you immensely in the future.

7. Drink Lots of Water to Maintain Your Milk Supply.

Breast milk is composed of 90% water.

During birth and for days after giving birth, your body will lose a lot of blood. Blood is composed mostly of water. Therefore, you will likely be extremely dehydrated.

One of the biggest factors that will affect your milk supply in the early days is your water intake. This is a crucial time as your body is figuring out how much milk to make for your twins. If you are severely dehydrated in the early days, your body will not establish the correct amount of milk supply.

You will probably notice that soon after you begin nursing your little one you will become thirsty. The oxytocin that your body releases during breastfeeding is responsible for triggering your thirst. This is your body’s natural way of ensuring that you are getting enough water to make breast milk.

As soon as you can, begin re hydrating your body. This can easily be done simply with water. During breastfeeding one baby, you should drink an extra quart, or 32 ounces, per day.

When breastfeeding twins, you should drink an additional 64 ounces of water each day.

In the early days, breastfeeding can take a long time. It will be hard for you to get up to get yourself water during long stretches of time. Always have a glass or a bottle within arms reach so you don’t have to sit there thirsty until everyone is done nursing.

8. Take Natural Supplements if You need to Increase Your Milk Supply.

Milky Way Natural Breastfeeding Supplement for Lactation Support is formulated to help the body naturally increase your milk supply. Their advanced formula contains super-effective herbs, such as fenugreek, alfalfa, fennel, nettle, milk thistle and more. of all the natural supplements intended to increase milk supply, this has the most complete blend.

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Another excellent way to increase your milk supply is by drinking tea specially formulated to help your body make more milk. Pink Stork Lactation: Smooth Vanilla Nursing Support Tea -Organic Loose Leaf Tea is a delicious choice that tastes great hot or cold.

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In summary, breastfeeding twins will be one of the most rewarding and bonding experiences of your life. While you await the arrival of your babies, you may begin to feel worried that you will not be able to breastfeed them. That is normal.

The 8 tips I have outlined above will help you to prepare for your twins and begin breastfeeding them with confidence from the very beginning.

By purchasing the items above and preparing to immediately reach out to the lactation consultant in your hospital, you will begin the journey of breastfeeding your twins with confidence.

The post 8 Simple Tips for Successfully Breastfeeding Twins appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

Whoever said there was no point in crying over spilled milk must have been a mother of twin toddlers.

I had no concept of the amount of liquids that twins can spill, or the amount that carpets can absorb,but in the early months of twin parenthood, I learned. On some days it seemed that time not spent taking care of Emmalyn and Alexa or (seldom) sleeping was solely spent sopping up juice, milk and other spills. I became convinced that in the air, as a liquid leaves its container, some sort of molecular expansion converts a cup of juice into a gallon by the time it hits the floor.

One afternoon, as I scrubbed away at a spot I’d cleaned minutes earlier, I wondered how mothers a hundred years ago coped with rags and lye, instead of the arsenal of cleaners I had at my fingertips. It was not the first time I felt a humble gratitude to be living now.

The most ingenious invention of our modern era, I felt, had to be spill-proof sippy cups. The magic of being able to give a child a cup and know that when it was tipped upside down, rolled across the room or tossed to the other twin it would not spill, is hard to describe.

When Emmalyn and Alexa graduated to sippy cups I graduated to a new lower level of cleaning. Now I could give the house a daily once-over and it looked acceptable — certainly not meeting my pre-children standards, but definitely tolerable. And since most people have a near-fearful respect for parents of twins,the bar was a bit lower for me anyhow. Life was good.

So it was in horror that I listened as Ken said one night at the supper table, “You know, the girls are getting a little old for their sippy cups. I think we should start using regular cups with them.”

“Regular cups?”An image of our early parenting days flashed in front of my eyes. No. I couldn’t go back there.

“It won’t be so bad,” he promised,“Look how good they are with sippies.”

“Exactly. They are good with the sippies. Why do they ever have to drink from anything else?”

Emmalyn and Alexa’s excitement at the transition to regular cups overshadowed my reluctance. Now they drank from cups just like mom and dad. Now they were big girls! Or at least, that was their perspective. My perspective was that they were still little girls, now making big messes.

They tried to be careful, but spills were inevitable. Our house returned to being a swampy battlefield, where paper towels marked the latest spill so that grown-ups (oddly enough, never the girls) could step into it the moment shoes were kicked off tired feet.

On one particularly frustrating day, Emmalyn and Alexa spilled every single thing I gave them, including dark-brown Ovaltine that defied the laws of gravity and ended up on our 10-foot living room ceiling. Something inside me snapped and I sat them down for a stern lecture. “You are big girls now,” I said firmly,“and you have got to be more careful. I know you’re still learning and you’re trying hard, but you have got to get better.”

They exchanged timid glances and whispered,“Sorry, Mom.”

It was impossible to remain angry. I patted them on the backs.“It’s OK. You’ll get better.”

But through the afternoon and evening the spills continued, now accompanied by tearful admissions that they had been careful, but somehow, they didn’t know how, they had spilled their cups. The house was a wetland with something sticky or sloshy at every step. I couldn’t take any more. When Ken came home, I met him at the door and said,“We’re going out to eat.”

We sauntered into the restaurant and delivered the usual speech about being careful with their cups. And moments later — I still don’t know how this happened — I reached for something and my glass, brimming with cola, went sprawling across the table in a Niagara-worthy splash. I was speechless. Emmalyn and Alexa’s open-mouthed faces turned to me in unison. And slowly, as though she were exploring uncharted territory, Alexa leaned close and whispered,“I thought you were a big girl now, Mom.”

Emmlayn took the cue with a sorrowful,“You have got to be more careful.”

“But it’s OK,” Alexa said, “You’re still learning.” She patted my arm.“You will get better.”

The post Life with Twins: Our Cups Runneth Over appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

“I burst into tears when I thought I was holding one baby and then discovered that I was holding the other,” recalled Marlene Flanders. “I said to myself, ‘I’m their mother, and I can’t even tell them apart,’ I sobbed. I wondered how many times I’d had them switched.”

As Marlene and countless other parents of identical multiples know firsthand, telling identical apart can be a challenge for everyone—family, teachers, friends and multiples themselves.

“My gym teacher gets us mixed up, but I wish she’d call me by the right name,” said 10-year-old identical twin Andre Deutschlaender. Andy Nieman, 12, gets annoyed at misidentification, too. “When people at school—my teachers and friends—get us mixed up, I feel like they should know who I am,” he said. Andy and his co-twin, Adam, look alike, although they are fraternal twins.

It’s an accepted fact that not one likes to be called by the wrong name. “A name is a symbol of recognition of our identity, a mark of our sense of ourselves,” explained Susan Erbaugh, Ph.D., chief of psychology at Minneapolis Children’s Medical Center. “Our name stays with us from home to work, from childhood through adulthood. It defines our distinctiveness. Calling a child by the wrong name says, ‘I don’t know or care who you are,’ or ‘We want you to be somebody different.’”

Calling children by the wrong name also “scares kids and makes them man,” Erbaugh added. “As a child’s sense of identity is emerging, it’s upsetting when people say, in essence, that the child doesn’t have a distinct place or identity.”

Establishing a sense of self is doubly challenging for a child with a co-twin who looks just like him. Child development specialists tell parents that it’s important to help each co-twin develop a concept of herself as a distinct individual.

To aid that process, many parents have found that identification strategies can make it easier to correctly identify each twin and to avoid inadvertent mix-ups, even in the first few months of multiples’ lives. Those strategies also address an underlying fear many parents have of accidentally switching their infant twins’ identities permanently.

Marlene Flanders finally put an end to the distressing mix-ups of her twin boys by putting fingernail polish on one of baby Ryan’s toenails. Later, she had Ryan’s hair trimmed to a point in the back and Aaron’s hair squared off. Flanders takes care to call each by the correct name because, as she explained, “They correct other people, but they don’t expect their mother to blow it!”

Parents of identical twins tend to take each co-twin’s autonomy seriously. “Right from the start, I didn’t want to chance a mix-up,” said Robin Gale, whose identical girls are now 6-years-old. “My foremost through has always been that these are two children, two independent individuals. I had a jeweler make gold ID ankle bracelets inscribed with their names, and those bracelets never came off. We just expanded them as Alana and Kayla grew.

When Alana and Kayla were very young, Gale dressed them differently and always knew what outfit each was wearing. “But it was hard for my husband, so he painted fingernail polish on Kayla’s pinky fingernail,” said Gale.

Applying polish to one twin’s toenails or fingernails is an effective strategy, said parents who’ve used it. So is color-coding twin’ clothing.

“We didn’t have any plan when we brought our identical twins home from the hospital,” Karen Jenkins recalled. “So for the first two weeks we painted one of Laura’s toenails. Then we divided up all the clothes and gave Denise blues, purples and greens. Laura got pinks, yellows and reds. Now the girls (age 5) are in preschool, and the teachers really appreciate our color coding.”

Joan King, whose identical twins are now adults had an equally effective system: “I put brown shoes on Brian and black shoes on Bill…It was simple, and everybody knew who was who.”

Amy Keohane still uses a pink and purple color code to help people properly identify her 6-year-old identical twins.  Koehane noted that Jennifer and Andrea look more alike now than when they were babies.  Then, their heads were shaped differently, one had more hair, and one’s face was a little rounder.  Other parents of identical twins have also noted that as their twins grew, they came to resemble each other even more closely than they did as babies.

Parents often distinguish one child from her co-twin by differences in height and weight, face shape, shade of hair, beauty spots or birthmarks, pitch of voice, personality traits and mirror-image characteristics such an opposite handedness and cowlicks.  Dawn Stewart recalled that her infant daughter Megan had a darker complexion at birth than her identical co-twin, Lindsey.  A small scar above Lindsey’s eyebrow also served as an identity marker.

Penny Morin is grateful for the mirror-image cowlicks (which turn in opposite directions) possessed by her identical 5-year-olds, Jillian and Joleen, and for the differences in their voices.  “But from a distance, I have difficulty telling them apart until they speak,” she said.

Personal characteristics such as these can also help other people accurately identify each co-twin.  But it’s usually up to parents or the twins themselves to furnish outsiders with appropriate clues.  For example, the Morin twins’ aunt was frustrated in her attempts to tell Jillian and Joleen apart until Penny advised her to look at their cowlicks.

Most people can distinguish between identical twins if they take the time to be observant.  Andy and Adam Nieman help people identify themselves correctly by choosing different haircuts and clothing.  Robin Gale credits her twins’ nursery school teachers with paying close attention each morning to what Alana and Kayla are wearing  (they wear similar but different clothing that is not color-coded).

“But when Alana and Kayla started kindergarten,” Gale said, “I asked them if their teacher knew who was who, and they said, ‘No’ so I requested that the teachers determine which child is which each morning by observing differences in their clothing.  You can tell them apart when you pay attention, and I absolutely expect teachers to do that,” Gale said.

Many parents of identical twins wish that more people would make a point of noticing differences in clothing or features.  “Twins do get tired of being asked, ‘which one are you?’” said Karen Jenkins.

To encourage correct identification, parents can take teachers, relatives and friends aside and suggest ways to tell one twin from the other.  For example, a parent might ask to meet with a teacher privately in order to explain the family’s “system”: she could say, for example, “We’ve learned that it’s very important for twins to be identified separately and correctly, so at home we make it a point to never refer to our girls as ‘the twins’ and to always use their names.  We would really appreciate it if you would do that, too.”

Parents are advised to use discretion when clarifying distinctions between their co-twins.  It’s important not to inadvertently create comparative labels (such as “Jim is the shy one, and John is the outgoing twin”) and comparisons such as height and weight only hold up when twins are viewed together.  Color-coded clothing or a child’s individual characteristics, such as her hair style or her left handedness, are more likely to serve as effective indicators and are less likely to reinforce labeling.

Of course, identification strategies aren’t foolproof, and look-alike twins will inevitably be mistaken for one another sometimes.  It’s wise to help twins develop a coping strategy for confusion, counseled Erbaugh.  “You can let them know that you understand how hard it is to be mistaken for each other,” she said.  ‘“Doctors, lawyers and movie stars,’ you might explain, ‘want their names displayed on doors and want top billing.  They get upset if their name isn’t displayed.  When you are called your co-twin’s name, it’s like you are the star and someone has put the wrong name on the door!  That’s hard to take.’”

Parents should help their twins come up with tactful but assertive ways in which they might respond to confused teachers, classmates or even family members.  Erbaugh suggested that parents might tell each co-twin, “I know what’s special about you, and the rest of the world will, too, if we help them out a bit.”

A twin can be taught to explain to anyone who makes a mistake that he is John and not Jim, said Erbaugh.  He can also learn to furnish people with an identity clue, such as, “one way you can tell us apart is by our hair.  I part my hair on the left, and Jim parts his on the right.”

“I explained to Christopher and Andre that people make mistakes because the two of them look so much alike,” said parent Ruth Deutschlaender.  “I advise them to just say, ‘I’m Christopher’ or ‘I’m Andre’ when that happens.”

Andre said that’s exactly what he does when the occasion arises.  “You can tell us apart by our voices,” he also advised.  “We sound different.”  Penny Morin’s daughter Joleen the first-born of identical twins, got upset being called by her co-twin’s name.  So Morin capitalized on having another set of identical twins in the neighborhood to help Joleen understand why that happened.  “I asked her if she sometimes got our neighbor’s twins mixed up.  She said, ‘yes,’ so I told her, ‘That’s what happens when people mistake you for Jillian.’”

Ideally, parents and siblings function as role models by identifying and addressing each twin by name.  Parents who are conscientious about recognizing and reinforcing each twin’s identity can help twins avoid the resentment voiced by one adult at having been, “a twin, not an individual, always a part of a set rather than a complete person.”

Not all adult twins feel that way, however.  Beatrice Hawkinson and Bernice Lindberg, 71, love being twins.  About their younger days, Beatrice said, “Our last name was Gustafson,a d we both had the nickname ‘Gustie’ so we didn’t get called the wrong name.  Now, when people mistake me for Bernice, I just say, ‘Oh, I’m Beatrice, Bernice’s twin.’”

These adult identical twins feel enriched by their friendship, have never wished not to be twins, and handle identity mix-ups with a touch of humor.  “If someone I don’t know smiles at me in the grocery store, I smile back because otherwise, they’ll go and ask Beatrice why she was so stuck-up the other day,” chuckled Bernice.

A sense of humor helps twins live with the inevitable, occasional mix-up.  And yes, even moms and dads sometimes err and call one of their twins the wrong name.  Then, it’s reassuring to remember that even parents of singletons call their offspring the wrong name from time to time—and they don’t have a good excuse!

Alice M Vollmar of Minneapolis, Minnesota, is a freelance writer and the mother of six children, including boy/girl twins.

The post Who’s Who? Foolproof strategies for telling identical twins apart appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

Dear New Mom and Dad of Twins:

Expecting twins for the first time? Parenting twins can be stressful, but it can also be one of the best experiences of your lives. I have a twin sister; we are fraternal twins. Twenty-one years ago, my parents found out they were expecting twins during the first ultrasound. It was quite the surprise for them! They were excited but also worried about having double of everything. My sister and I were born 11 weeks premature. Because of our early arrival, my parents had to quickly prepare for double the amount of baby clothes, the messes and the future expenses. But, there was also double the amount of fun and love that had to be provided.

Preparing for twins can be demanding, but it is important for parents to be ready when the twins arrive. Joan A. Friedman, a psychotherapist and twin expert from southern California, says parents can prepare for having twins by developing expectations that are realistic. Parents will be busy and stressed, so they need to set some time aside to relax. Friedman says parents should work together to make parenting more efficient.

“Work out with your partner beforehand how you will attempt to help each other during these difficult early months,” Friedman says.

To prepare for having twins, my parents also had realistic expectations. They knew that they would have to think about the little aspects, including buying enough diapers and balancing feeding times. My mother says the first few nights after my sister and I came home from the hospital, my father kept insisting that since he had to go to work the next day, he needed his sleep. My mother got up and fed both of us. But, when she fed us, she also woke my father up, so he didn’t get much sleep anyway.

“What we ended up doing was both getting up and each feeding a baby, and then we went back to bed and slept until it was time to feed the babies again. That worked much better than the first approach.”

It is also important that parents know they can ask for help. Friedman says parents should not be afraid to ask others around them for help when caring for twins. “Don’t be reluctant as you will need extra laps and hands,” Friedman says.

Ask a relative to help out with the twins once a week, or ask a friend to spend a few hours with one of the twins. My grandparents pitched in when they could even though they lived a few hours away. My mother says my grandma came to help right after we came home from the hospital. She also visited sometimes during the day to babysit, so my parents got a chance to eat out or go shopping.

There are also many useful resources for new parents, including books about twins, twins’ clubs, pediatricians and talking with other parents who are raising twins. Friedman says new parents should not be hard on themselves; it is okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes. She says parents should do what they think is best when it comes down to their parenting style.

“It is about surviving and doing a good enough job, not a perfect one.”

My parents talked to a pediatrician and found him to be very helpful. He was a twin himself, which added to his knowledge of twins. He gave my parents many tips about baby nutrition and tips on how to care for twins when both babies become sick.

“The family pediatrician, Dr. Stein, told us which medicines to give to the girls,” says my mother. “He was especially helpful when you girls got pink eye multiple times.”

Another key piece of advice is to expect that new parents will both be tired and overwhelmed at first. My parents created a schedule to balance different tasks.

“I would take out the trash and fill up the bottles, while Mom changed diapers and dressed the girls,” says my father. “Although I was exhausted at first, it got easier once we figured out a routine.”

According to The Twin Coach, a website created by Gina Osher, a mother of twins, new parents should stay calm and talk to other parents of multiples. By reaching out and conversing with other parents, parents can become more knowledgeable about twins and learn about ways to provide the best care for their twins. My family lived next door to twin boys who were four years older than we were. We became close with our neighbors, and my mother got a lot of free parenting advice from their mother.

In addition, Friedman says it is important to spend alone time with each twin in order to get to know him or her individually. As twins grow older, parents can see their differences and they can work to treat their twins as individuals.

My parents tried to treat my sister and me as individuals. As toddlers, my parents dressed us differently and encouraged us to spend time with other children.

“I wanted to make sure you girls were individuals with your own personalities and interests,” says my mother. “But, at the same time, I wanted you to be friends and have a good relationship.”

Friedman also says that parents cannot make their twins’ lives completely equal.

“Don’t get caught up in the fair and equal dilemma even though your twins attempt to guilt you into such a conundrum.”

Parents try to make everything fair, but it is just not possible. Each twin has different personality traits and different wants as he or she grows older. Instead of making everything fair, parents should focus on encouraging each twin to live his or her own life, so everything does not seem like it has to be equal.

Nonetheless, twins become friends because they spend a lot of time with each other. My parents encouraged my sister and me to have a close relationship. The twin relationship is a special one that twins should foster. My twin sister and I have different interests, but we are also very close; we can talk about anything with each other.

Furthermore, Friedman says parents should not focus on the “twin mystique.” By doing this, parents tend to idealize what it is to be a twin. She says that parents should take note of the pros and cons of parenting twins.

Friedman recommends parents read her first book, Emotionally Healthy Twins: A New Philosophy for Parenting Two Unique Children. Her book provides parents with information about pregnancy with twins and raising twins.

I hope this information will help you as you begin your journey of parenting twins. Having twins will bring you double the amount of joy and memorable experiences. My parents continue to learn about twins and make new memories, even after 21 years.

Best wishes,

Marie Cash, a fraternal twin

As a recent college graduate, Marie has a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Northern Colorado. She enjoys reading, writing and baking new recipes for her food blog. Marie has a fraternal twin named Kathy. They are best friends and both live in Colorado. Someday they want to attend the Twins Day Festival in Twinsburg, Ohio.

The post Tips for New Parents with Twins: An Open Letter from a Twin appeared first on TWINS Magazine.