Twins and then some

As all twin parents know, this isn’t a walk in the park. This twin parenting stuff requires prowess, strength, resilience and a good sense of humour. For some of us though, there’s an additional spike in the daily workload and pressure of life. Bringing twins into a house with other kids is not for the faint-hearted. It’s a phenomenally challenging job, one that requires planning, compromise and on many days, a simple smile and graceful acceptance of defeat.

I hope this provides some practical, achievable tips for coping with the extra pressure the school year brings.

New term, new promises, new realities

As the leaves turn golden and the nights grow cooler, the new school year offers the annual promise of new beginnings and hope to parents. This is the year we won’t miss a beat, we’ll make school on time every day, we’ll never forget a pack up, a trip or a test. They’ll be tumble free, drama free, without angst or fear. We will greet our happy, confident, curious kids every day and hear their bright and brilliant stories of the adventures school brings. And most importantly, we will meet all their needs. They won’t be compromised by the addition of twins. They won’t resent the time the twins take up but instead see the joy in every step of this journey.

Yeah. Good luck with that. As Halloween approaches, for many of us moms of multiples, the wheels are already falling off of that rosy outlook. Last night it took all my strength to smile as I was trying to help my 9-year-old with his mental arithmetic homework. Dusting off my rusty old brain cells was a sizeable enough task. Throw in bouncing a baby on one knee, using the other leg to keep another from eating the biscuits in the dog bowl and trying to show appropriate praise for my 5-year-old daughters homespun (and incredibly loud) production of The Greatest Showman… well, come on. Seriously. Is this for real?

Somehow as ever, we all survived. Despite some slight friction and debate, in the end, each child got from their A to their B. Everyone was fed, washed and snuggled up in bed. Albeit some more compromised than others.

So today we regroup. We revisit some of the self-taught mantras that help in times of stress. We accept that we must have rough with the smooth. We remember that we are warriors. We were given this job because we can champion it. We remember that with a little planning and thought, we can show them all our affection. Most of all we remember that love will out.

If you wake some days with a faint fear of what lies ahead, try some of these simple coping techniques.

Here are 7 tips for coping with school and twins

1. Schedule a 30-minute end of day prep time

At the end of every day, no matter how bad that last shift went, you need to reboot and get organised for tomorrow. Give yourself every head start possible for the following day.

 Make sure you have their timetables and homework schedules on the fridge. Check what kit, homework and ‘stuff’ you’re meant to have lined up by the front door.
 Make any packed lunches before bed.
 Get your own clothes out for the next day. You can calmly control your decisions when everyone has gone to bed. Getting your head around a simple thing like what to wear can make a huge difference in your confidence and starting attitude for the day.

 Lay their clothes by their doors and get each child their own hook in the hallway, making sure their hats, shoes, bags are ready to scoop up as you leave.
 Check and reload your baby bag. Get baby clothes, nappies, any baby equipment ready to go with the older children’s gear.

Don’t take more than 30 minutes over this. You can do it. Tidy, organise, prepare and then stop.

2. Give yourself permission

Give yourself permission to take some smart shortcuts. You will be forgiven for cheating on the home-made bread, cakes and flapjacks for a while. You can punch in name labels rather than sew. You can skip sending your donations to the cake bake this term. You can lean on friends for a lift to school.

Give yourself permission to be less than perfect for a while, to take a helping hand and to opt out from things from time to time.

3. Spot gaps and make changes

If you step back and take a practical, dispassionate look at the separate processes in your day, it’ll be easier to see those that are working and those that need improvement. Remove the emotion from the equation and work out all the processes involved in getting from the start of the day to the end. This may include the school run, feeding the babies, taking the dog out, running the grocery errands, picking up from school, running to clubs etc. We all have our ways of getting things done, some of which will be working well, some which are barely functioning and some which just go to pot every day.

Take a solution-based approach and work out how to plug the gaps. Nothing needs to be permanent because let’s face it, once you’ve got it nailed, a logistic will change, a club will be added to the list or a child will U-turn on you for no expected reason. However, think about the here and now and what you need to do to make each process function best.

Do you have friends with teenage children who could help you with a homework buddy system for an hour a day, or mind one child while you run another to a club? Can you throw your dog on a neighbour’s dog walk for a little while or take the stroller with you for the dog walks? Can you get a friend to do pick up on allotted days? Can you swap dinner times with a friend so that you both gain from a child-free window when your schedule needs it?

Try it, make a few tweaks so that you can even out the load and operate more efficiently.

4. Create daily 1 on 1 time

It’s a fact you are acutely aware of, but every child in the mix needs you, and they need you in different ways. It’s easy to focus on those who shout the loudest, taking the path of least resistance and getting by in whatever way you can. But if you make a promise to give each of the big ones just 10 or 15 minutes before bed, you can rest easy that you’re giving them real quality you time.

Ask them what the best part of the day was. Ask them what tomorrow is going to bring and what they look forward to. Allow them to release the harder parts of every day before bed and recap on what makes life interesting and inspiring.

They won’t clock the time you spend but they’ll find comfort in the consistency of you always saving a little bit of energy and space for them.

5. Don’t throw money (or sugar) at it

It’s easy to feel sorry for the big ones, to get a sense that you are not playing enough, not listening enough, not interesting or even awake enough. But don’t let the guilt lead you to an unhealthy place where you take shortcuts to show you care. You are a good parent; you can make time and you do care. Don’t feel the need to throw more toys or sugary treats to maintain the love, affection and favour of your children.

Kids are resilient. Be consistent and keep good strong values or you’ll spoil them and need to honour this exchange and materialism for a (very) long time.

6. Don’t compare yourselves to others

Everyone else’s lives seem simpler right now. Do not make comparisons, it’ll crush you! You need to get focused on your own shizzle and leave the other parents to it.

I’ve often made the mistake of reading the banter on the school mom group chat and feeling bad about myself. Parents with fewer children have more time to review and debate the issues surrounding their children. They can chit-chat (seemingly endlessly!) about what to put in the school snacks, what to wear on the trips and compare notes on reading levels.

Don’t get sucked into the detail or you’ll end up resenting their space and forcing yourself into a low ebb. Parenting twins is what it is. It’s busy, it’s hard, but it’s also brilliant and rewarding. Just keep afloat and don’t listen to any external chat that can take you off you’re A-game.

7. Pause, smile and reflect

Above all else, take a moment every day to smile about your beautiful brood. Think about the funny things they said and the little quirks they have that make them special. Most people haven’t got a clue about how tough a gig this is. But don’t forget that soon, these bonkers, crazy, muddled up, messed up days will become the ‘the good old days – the moments you struggle to recall a bunch of years from now. One day our hearts will ache to be this important, this busy and this loved.

Remember to reflect and save a little praise for yourself. You are doing a great job. You are a champion. Keep at it tiger, tomorrow is and always will be another fresh day.

About the Author

[author] [author_image timthumb=’on’]https://twinsmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/icon.jpg[/author_image] [author_info]Laura O’Shaughnessy is a mother of four, including one-year-old twin girls. She writes about family, food, society, and life. She lives with her family and faithful sheepdog in Yorkshire, England. https://lauraoshaughnessy.wordpress.com/[/author_info] [/author]

The post Tips for coping with twin babies and school-age siblings appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

We have found our top three recommendations for the best pack n play for twins and included the product details, the pros and cons of each and all other information we feel you will need to choose the best pack n play for your twins.

1. The Baby Trend Twin Nursery Center is our #1 recommended pack n play.

It has extra features the other pack n plays we found for twins just don’t have.

When your twins are first born, a pack n play can be a great first place to have your twins sleep at night.

We placed this pack n play next to our bed and had each twin sleeping in one of the two removable bassinets. That made it easy for me, as the breastfeeding mother, to lean over and pick up each twin when they needed to breastfeed.

This will be the place you lay your twins down to nap throughout much of the day. During the day, many parents have this crib in the main sitting room. At night, many parents bring this crib into their bedroom.

Product Details:

Colors: Comes in Color Shown

Price: $249.99

Lowest Price: Amazon.com

Amazon Rating:

Below we have included the main pros and cons of each pack n play.

Pros:

★ Advantage Over Our Other Recommended Pack n Plays–The Deluxe Parent Organizer is an awesome feature that allows you to keep diapers, wipes, clothing and outfits right next to the pack n play.

★ Two removable rock-a-bye bassinet each convert to standalone rockers

★ Removable rock-a-bye bassinet comes with canopy and carry handle, plush fabric and mesh sides for proper ventilation

★ Flip away changing table and deluxe parent organizer. Use only household mild soap and warm water. Do Not Use Bleach. Do Not Machine Wash

★ One-hand locking mechanism and large wheels with brakes

★ Electronic music center with volume control, nightlight, and vibration

Cons:

• Only available in 1 color

• Twins will quickly outgrow the bassinets

2. The Graco Pack ‘n Play Playard with Twins Bassinet is the second pack n play we recommend.

Product Details:

Colors: Comes in Color Shown

Price: $179.99

Lowest Price: Amazon.com

Amazon Rating:

Below we have included the main pros and cons of each pack n play.

Pros:

★ Advantage Over Our Other Recommended Pack n Plays– It is less expensive.

★ The Pack ‘n Play Playard with Twin Bassinet is roomy with 2 cozy quilted bassinets for twins

★ Removable bassinet is perfect for napping, making it easy to transition to a portable playpen

★ Quilted mattress pad creates a comfortable nap space

★ Convenient carrying bag for no-fuss travel and storage

Cons:

• Only available in 1 color

• It does not have a changing pad or organizer for diapers, wipes and other baby items

3. The JOOVY Room2 Twin Nursery Center and the Joovy New Room2 Portable Playard is our third recommendation.

Note: The Nursery Center and the Playard Must Both Be Purchased

The JOOVY Room2 Twin Nursery Center and Joovy New Room2 Portable Playard are sold separately.

Price: $75.33- Nursery Center; $119.99- Playard = Total is $195.32

Lowest Price: Nursery Center and Playard

Amazon Rating:

Product Features:

★ Advantage Over Our Other Recommended Pack n Plays– Much larger than other two pack n plays

★ Includes bassinet and changing table (playard sold separately)

★ Bassinet holds twins up to 15 lbs each or 30 lbs total, removable center divider

★ Great for use with one baby, twins or multiples

★ Changing table holds up to 25 lbs, water resistant surface is easy to clean

★ Changing table is removable and flips over when not in use

Cons:

• Must be purchased as two individual items

• Does not include a parent organizer bin for accessories

• It does not have a changing pad or organizer for diapers, wipes and other baby items

In summary, a pack n play for twins is an excellent, useful place to have for your twins. It can be used for naps, to change diapers and as a safe play area for your twins.

Comment below and let us know if you have purchased any of these three pack n plays for twins and what you think about them.

The post The Best Pack n Play for Twins appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

Being first-time parents raising twin babies can be daunting but Mom of twins, Anne Marshall shares some thoughts on making that important first year with your twins as enriching as possible.

For any Feeding Method You Use, Feed Them Together

I had been intending to breastfeed, but ultimately ended up bottle feeding.

When my partner first went back to work, I would feed them one at a time. One would be screaming while the other had their bottle.

It was stressful for all of us.

Then another twin mum told me how she propped hers up with cushions, so she could feed them at the same time. Perhaps if I hadn’t been so sleep deprived I could have thought of this myself? So, I put them in their car seats on the sofa and fed them together.

No waiting, no tears, genius! – the other mother, not me!

Routine, Routine, Routine

From a very early age, I decided to establish a routine for raising my twins.

They were fed at the same time, napped at the same time, played at the same time, we went for a walk after lunch at the same time which was also a nap time, and went to bed at the same time.

Funny enough, a mother of a singleton said to me that this must involve a lot of crying. Perhaps it sounded very regimented. I wasn’t a believer in crying it out, so this wasn’t the case, and if you get a feel for what your babies do naturally, getting them on a routine can happen quite cohesively and naturally.

The routine will change and adapt every couple of months as they change, but I found the structure helped me to organize myself, prevented me from getting overwhelmed in chaos, and allowed the babies to feel secure.

Don’t Worry About Quality Time When They are Infants

Obviously, it’s nice, when there are two adults around and they can have extra cuddles, or you can go a bit further afield more easily, but don’t worry that you aren’t doing swimming classes or any other class.

Of course, there are ways around these hurdles, but don’t put yourself under unnecessary pressure.

Your twins are happy just to hang out with you, walk through the park, have a dance party at home, go for coffee. They have you, and they have each other.

They don’t need to be adding to the special skills section of their C.V at 5 months old.

If Your Twins are Born Prematurely, You Might Want to Read Up on That

Mine twins were born 5 weeks early and I really didn’t know anything about it.

My best baby- mama friend had a full-term singleton, who could put his pacifier in and out of his mouth all by himself, while we were at coffee, while mine were always fast asleep in the buggy (bonus, really).

Don’t compare what a full-term baby does to a premature baby. It usually all evens out quickly, or there may be things that show up in the future. For instance, my daughter is hyper-mobile which was picked up on by a physiotherapist when she was only 6 months.

This has affected some of her fine and gross motor skills. However, we can’t say for sure this was because she was born prematurely or not.

Every Stage Moves On

Sometimes when you’re in the thick of it, especially in a first year with twins, it can feel as if this stage is how your life will always be, and that can be overwhelming.

So, remember, if your twins don’t sleep through the night yet, or you’re alone a lot and your friends don’t understand what you’re going through, or whichever stage you’re at, ‘this too shall pass’.

These stages, especially in the first year of raising twins, move past so quickly as I mentioned before in the routines section. Just when you think you can’t go on anymore, they’ll start sleeping through the night, or you’ll meet a new friend etc., or they’ll start sitting up and playing differently, and life will change all over again.

Look After Yourself

People like to say, ‘if Mums not happy, the kids won’t be happy’.

That’s a little harsh if you are feeling unhappy, so don’t be hard on yourself. But, I do believe it’s O.K. to be selfish.

Take time for yourself. Take time out.

Keep something for yourself that makes you feel good, whether that’s yoga, a trip to the cinema, painting, work, or something where you can express yourself. It’s important to keep nourishing yourself because motherhood can be overwhelming, and you really can feel that you’ve lost your self. You’re still you. Don’t worry, you haven’t lost anything, only gained.

You don’t have to be the perfect Mum either, you’re just fine as you are, and you are perfect to your babies. The first year goes so fast, it really is only 12 months of little infants before you drift on to toddler-hood.

Good luck Mama, you can do it

Anne Marshall is a mother of 4 including twins and blogs on Huff Post, Parents U.K about twins, raising multiples and more, mothers, society etc. She currently resides in Cardiff, Wales.

The post 6 Useful Tips for Raising Twins in Their First Year appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

Multiple multiples? Where do you even start to count your blessings?

At the best of times, parenting is a challenge. Add several sets of children all going through the “terrible twos,” the “ferocious fours” or the troubled teenage years at the same time, and the thought is often enough to make someone go a bit crazy. Where do you find the strength and energy? What kind of support is available? How does your marriage survive when it seems that life is focussed on the children? How do you have a normal life, and what does a “normal” life even look like?

We sat down with two families in Canada’s Golden Horseshoe to discuss parenting multiple sets of twins, to learn what their lives are like, what unique challenges they deal with every day, and what advice would they give to other parents in the same parenting boat.

Multiples often run in families so news of expecting twins is not that surprising for some families. For Kim Tait of Oakville, the news that she was expecting a second set of twins wasn’t as surprising or shocking as you might think. She says, “I just knew. I think your brain prepares you for this type of shocking information. We weren’t trying for more kids, so when I got pregnant again, I knew it was (twins) and wasn’t surprised when they told me.” For Lyndsay Petican of Burlington, the news was taken pragmatically. “We were like yes, this is what we do! We make twins. We already had the infrastructure, like car seats, cribs, and highchairs,” she explains.

We asked both families what they did differently with each set, or wish they had. For the Taits, they agree they became smarter the second time around. “With the first set we both tried to be up all the time to feed them; we realized with the second set that it’s impossible. So, we split the night up, doing shift work. My husband liked staying up late so as soon as my older daughter went to bed, I’d go to bed and wake up at 4 a.m. and start my day then. The babies would eat around 2-3 a.m. and then again around 5-6am. Feeding two crying babies in the middle of the night on no sleep is no party, but we found a system and stuck with it. It became easier with time.” For Lyndsay she explains that she definitely has a different viewpoint on parenthood, perhaps as any second time parent might. She tries to remember that “everything is a stage, and where newborn twins is really hard, it too is just a phase.”

As her kids started school, Lyndsay is learning from her actions with her older girls. She kept her daughters together until grade one, and then had them separated in school, as they began wanting their own friends and experiences. She’s been thinking of separating her sons earlier so they can grow more independent.

If there’s any advice either family would have liked to have in advance of having their second set of twins, it would be, according to Lyndsay, to “just be kind to yourself, try not to fixate on what you can’t do, and enjoy the things that you can. It is really hard at the beginning but it pays off in dividends doubly later.” For Kim, she said knowing what to expect probably made things a bit worse. “I knew it was going to be insane, and it was. We had four little boys in diapers at the same time.”

Many couples struggle with maintaining the romance in their marriage once kids come along. We wondered if having not just one, but two sets of children, and maybe even a singleton or two in addition, changes this part of their relationship dramatically? Or, does it strengthen a marriage in ways other couples might not understand? According to Lyndsay Petican, “My husband and I work as a great team… we have to. We try to get alone time where we can by grabbing a breakfast date or a quiet cup of coffee before all the kids awaken. We found it was easier when I was working to meet for breakfast rather than going out for dinner. We had a lot of our date nights by just making dinner and hanging out. Once every couple of months we go out for dinner and every year we have a kid-free vacation to Vegas or Nashville to relax.”

Kim’s experience is a bit different. “I would be lying if I said it didn’t have an impact on our marriage; this is hard. We are both working full-time, I commute an hour and all the kids have activities, so we are running in different directions all the time. Our kids are still young, so they need us for a lot of things; for now, we divide and conquer and at the end of the day we are exhausted and start all over again the next day. We don’t have a lot of time to just sit and talk, but as they say, this is a season of life, it’s constantly evolving and changing. Date nights are a challenge too. They get expensive quickly as we tend to have to hire two people to watch the kids. Add dinner and a movie and the cost adds up. So we don’t get to do it much unfortunately.”

Self-care is an aspect of life that is challenging for all parents, but even more for parents of multiples. Lindsay says her children’s nap time is very important to her, she tries to work out during one of the nap times, and online shopping has become very important to her, in order to keep her sense of self sometimes.

Support from family and the community is also invaluable as parents of multiples sometimes feel isolated because they can’t find time for themselves or time to leave the house to run errands or take part in recreational programs with all their children. Both women agree that without either a nanny or family members to help out, life would most definitely be more challenging. Lyndsay explains that with her first set of twins she “hung around singleton moms and felt very sad about the activities that I didn’t feel I could manage on my own (i.e., swimming, hikes). I spent a good bit of time grieving the maternity leave that I thought I would have. On my second mat leave with my boy twins I hung out with a lot of twin mamas; we mostly hung out at other people’s houses to keep all of our kids contained and less stress-free.” For her own well-being, and so an outing wouldn’t end up in tears (either the children’s or her own) she stopped signing up for programs that she knew were going to be unsuccessful for their family dynamic. Lyndsay also had support from her Mother-in-Law who would watch the boys to allow her to leave the house by herself and run errands. That was a much-needed break.

For the Taits, who have no immediate family nearby and have full-time jobs that often require travel, a nanny was the only way they could survive. When the nanny wasn’t available or one of the parents was out of town, their kids became used to doing their homework at a sports arena while the other siblings had a hockey practice. “We just drag them all along,” she explains.

We wanted to know if there exists any extra government of community support for parents with multiples. Lyndsay explains that she joined a twin mom group and they were a great support during maternity leave. “Maternity leave with twins is not relaxing, a longer maternity leave of two years would’ve really been great as you only received one year (when I was on mat leave).” She recently began volunteering with the Halton Breastfeeding Connection to support new moms and new twin moms with breastfeeding. It’s her way of giving back. For Kim, she wishes there had been more financial support when they had to have two nannies. “There is a maximum we can deduct for childcare on our taxes; we have definitely exceeded that each year. I wish there was flexibility there!” They have, however, found some support with rEcess Oakville, a respite program that offers free care to children with disabilities and their siblings while their parents enjoy a night out once a month.

For all the joys that multiple multiples bring, there are of course, emotional challenges. As might be expected, for both women, finding individual time to spend with each child is difficult but much-needed. For Kim, who has an older singleton daughter, she especially tries to spend some alone time with her because she knows her daughter needs that alone time the most. Both women agree that finding quality one-on-one time with each child is what they have the most mom guilt about.

Every parent wishes they could bond equally with their kids. For parents of multiples, it can seem like a daunting or impossible pipe dream. Lyndsay’s advice to new parents of multiple multiples is “be kind to yourself. Some days one child is needier than the other and then the next day it changes. It will not always be fair and equal, but you try to do the best for those kids and their own temperaments.” For Kim, her family has its own challenges, as her two youngest twins both have special needs, so she realizes she must spend more time with them. Her son Zackery is on the autism spectrum and she expresses, “he has definitely taught me so much about humans in general. I thought I knew how to parent, but boy has he challenged me in absolutely every way. There are days where all our focus is on him. His twin has moderate to severe ADHD, so he is always very busy. I make a point of spending time with my daughter alone, but I know this is a constant challenge and I’m very aware of it.”

Aside from bonding and finding time for each child, what seems to be the biggest challenge of having multiple multiples? “The price of daycare for multiples is crippling,” says Lyndsay. It can be as much as a second mortgage. Kim explains for them, it’s time management and not having a big safety net. That frustration of the unknown from day to day, makes this really hard sometimes. It especially hits home when there are health emergencies and everything seems so overwhelming.

We wondered how their families are coping with the isolation and quarantine of Covid-19? Lyndsay admits, “So much togetherness time has the increased the sibling fighting. My kids are happiest when we go out on adventures, but with limited adventures and limited contact with friends, especially for my 10-year-olds, this has been especially difficult. But in many ways, it has been easier too. Lindsay explains, “Our mornings are way less hectic. We let the girls sleep in. We don’t have to rush to make lunches. My husband has been home to help a lot more as he hasn’t been travelling for work.” And Kim agrees, “I think there is where big families shine. I can kick them out into the backyard, and they all play together and can entertain themselves (and each other). I think having a single child might be harder than five!”

In conclusion, the greatest joy for both families is seeing how all their children interact and love each other. For Kim, who herself is an only child, she didn’t understand the dynamics of siblings before she had children. “Watching the five of them interact is fascinating to me. I love just sitting back and watching them work through something together without us intervening. My daughter being the oldest, tends to take charge and all four boys listen to her lead. I think she will benefit from this role in her own life. And certainly, for the kids to have each other once we are gone is reassuring.”

For parents of multiple multiples, life is definitely busy, crazy, fun, exhausting and so much more. It’s parenting, multiplied. It’s also blessings, multiplied.

The post Double Double – life with two sets of twins appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

“I burst into tears when I thought I was holding one baby and then discovered that I was holding the other,” recalled Marlene Flanders. “I said to myself, ‘I’m their mother, and I can’t even tell them apart,’ I sobbed. I wondered how many times I’d had them switched.”

As Marlene and countless other parents of identical multiples know firsthand, telling identical apart can be a challenge for everyone—family, teachers, friends and multiples themselves.

“My gym teacher gets us mixed up, but I wish she’d call me by the right name,” said 10-year-old identical twin Andre Deutschlaender. Andy Nieman, 12, gets annoyed at misidentification, too. “When people at school—my teachers and friends—get us mixed up, I feel like they should know who I am,” he said. Andy and his co-twin, Adam, look alike, although they are fraternal twins.

It’s an accepted fact that not one likes to be called by the wrong name. “A name is a symbol of recognition of our identity, a mark of our sense of ourselves,” explained Susan Erbaugh, Ph.D., chief of psychology at Minneapolis Children’s Medical Center. “Our name stays with us from home to work, from childhood through adulthood. It defines our distinctiveness. Calling a child by the wrong name says, ‘I don’t know or care who you are,’ or ‘We want you to be somebody different.’”

Calling children by the wrong name also “scares kids and makes them man,” Erbaugh added. “As a child’s sense of identity is emerging, it’s upsetting when people say, in essence, that the child doesn’t have a distinct place or identity.”

Establishing a sense of self is doubly challenging for a child with a co-twin who looks just like him. Child development specialists tell parents that it’s important to help each co-twin develop a concept of herself as a distinct individual.

To aid that process, many parents have found that identification strategies can make it easier to correctly identify each twin and to avoid inadvertent mix-ups, even in the first few months of multiples’ lives. Those strategies also address an underlying fear many parents have of accidentally switching their infant twins’ identities permanently.

Marlene Flanders finally put an end to the distressing mix-ups of her twin boys by putting fingernail polish on one of baby Ryan’s toenails. Later, she had Ryan’s hair trimmed to a point in the back and Aaron’s hair squared off. Flanders takes care to call each by the correct name because, as she explained, “They correct other people, but they don’t expect their mother to blow it!”

Parents of identical twins tend to take each co-twin’s autonomy seriously. “Right from the start, I didn’t want to chance a mix-up,” said Robin Gale, whose identical girls are now 6-years-old. “My foremost through has always been that these are two children, two independent individuals. I had a jeweler make gold ID ankle bracelets inscribed with their names, and those bracelets never came off. We just expanded them as Alana and Kayla grew.

When Alana and Kayla were very young, Gale dressed them differently and always knew what outfit each was wearing. “But it was hard for my husband, so he painted fingernail polish on Kayla’s pinky fingernail,” said Gale.

Applying polish to one twin’s toenails or fingernails is an effective strategy, said parents who’ve used it. So is color-coding twin’ clothing.

“We didn’t have any plan when we brought our identical twins home from the hospital,” Karen Jenkins recalled. “So for the first two weeks we painted one of Laura’s toenails. Then we divided up all the clothes and gave Denise blues, purples and greens. Laura got pinks, yellows and reds. Now the girls (age 5) are in preschool, and the teachers really appreciate our color coding.”

Joan King, whose identical twins are now adults had an equally effective system: “I put brown shoes on Brian and black shoes on Bill…It was simple, and everybody knew who was who.”

Amy Keohane still uses a pink and purple color code to help people properly identify her 6-year-old identical twins.  Koehane noted that Jennifer and Andrea look more alike now than when they were babies.  Then, their heads were shaped differently, one had more hair, and one’s face was a little rounder.  Other parents of identical twins have also noted that as their twins grew, they came to resemble each other even more closely than they did as babies.

Parents often distinguish one child from her co-twin by differences in height and weight, face shape, shade of hair, beauty spots or birthmarks, pitch of voice, personality traits and mirror-image characteristics such an opposite handedness and cowlicks.  Dawn Stewart recalled that her infant daughter Megan had a darker complexion at birth than her identical co-twin, Lindsey.  A small scar above Lindsey’s eyebrow also served as an identity marker.

Penny Morin is grateful for the mirror-image cowlicks (which turn in opposite directions) possessed by her identical 5-year-olds, Jillian and Joleen, and for the differences in their voices.  “But from a distance, I have difficulty telling them apart until they speak,” she said.

Personal characteristics such as these can also help other people accurately identify each co-twin.  But it’s usually up to parents or the twins themselves to furnish outsiders with appropriate clues.  For example, the Morin twins’ aunt was frustrated in her attempts to tell Jillian and Joleen apart until Penny advised her to look at their cowlicks.

Most people can distinguish between identical twins if they take the time to be observant.  Andy and Adam Nieman help people identify themselves correctly by choosing different haircuts and clothing.  Robin Gale credits her twins’ nursery school teachers with paying close attention each morning to what Alana and Kayla are wearing  (they wear similar but different clothing that is not color-coded).

“But when Alana and Kayla started kindergarten,” Gale said, “I asked them if their teacher knew who was who, and they said, ‘No’ so I requested that the teachers determine which child is which each morning by observing differences in their clothing.  You can tell them apart when you pay attention, and I absolutely expect teachers to do that,” Gale said.

Many parents of identical twins wish that more people would make a point of noticing differences in clothing or features.  “Twins do get tired of being asked, ‘which one are you?’” said Karen Jenkins.

To encourage correct identification, parents can take teachers, relatives and friends aside and suggest ways to tell one twin from the other.  For example, a parent might ask to meet with a teacher privately in order to explain the family’s “system”: she could say, for example, “We’ve learned that it’s very important for twins to be identified separately and correctly, so at home we make it a point to never refer to our girls as ‘the twins’ and to always use their names.  We would really appreciate it if you would do that, too.”

Parents are advised to use discretion when clarifying distinctions between their co-twins.  It’s important not to inadvertently create comparative labels (such as “Jim is the shy one, and John is the outgoing twin”) and comparisons such as height and weight only hold up when twins are viewed together.  Color-coded clothing or a child’s individual characteristics, such as her hair style or her left handedness, are more likely to serve as effective indicators and are less likely to reinforce labeling.

Of course, identification strategies aren’t foolproof, and look-alike twins will inevitably be mistaken for one another sometimes.  It’s wise to help twins develop a coping strategy for confusion, counseled Erbaugh.  “You can let them know that you understand how hard it is to be mistaken for each other,” she said.  ‘“Doctors, lawyers and movie stars,’ you might explain, ‘want their names displayed on doors and want top billing.  They get upset if their name isn’t displayed.  When you are called your co-twin’s name, it’s like you are the star and someone has put the wrong name on the door!  That’s hard to take.’”

Parents should help their twins come up with tactful but assertive ways in which they might respond to confused teachers, classmates or even family members.  Erbaugh suggested that parents might tell each co-twin, “I know what’s special about you, and the rest of the world will, too, if we help them out a bit.”

A twin can be taught to explain to anyone who makes a mistake that he is John and not Jim, said Erbaugh.  He can also learn to furnish people with an identity clue, such as, “one way you can tell us apart is by our hair.  I part my hair on the left, and Jim parts his on the right.”

“I explained to Christopher and Andre that people make mistakes because the two of them look so much alike,” said parent Ruth Deutschlaender.  “I advise them to just say, ‘I’m Christopher’ or ‘I’m Andre’ when that happens.”

Andre said that’s exactly what he does when the occasion arises.  “You can tell us apart by our voices,” he also advised.  “We sound different.”  Penny Morin’s daughter Joleen the first-born of identical twins, got upset being called by her co-twin’s name.  So Morin capitalized on having another set of identical twins in the neighborhood to help Joleen understand why that happened.  “I asked her if she sometimes got our neighbor’s twins mixed up.  She said, ‘yes,’ so I told her, ‘That’s what happens when people mistake you for Jillian.’”

Ideally, parents and siblings function as role models by identifying and addressing each twin by name.  Parents who are conscientious about recognizing and reinforcing each twin’s identity can help twins avoid the resentment voiced by one adult at having been, “a twin, not an individual, always a part of a set rather than a complete person.”

Not all adult twins feel that way, however.  Beatrice Hawkinson and Bernice Lindberg, 71, love being twins.  About their younger days, Beatrice said, “Our last name was Gustafson,a d we both had the nickname ‘Gustie’ so we didn’t get called the wrong name.  Now, when people mistake me for Bernice, I just say, ‘Oh, I’m Beatrice, Bernice’s twin.’”

These adult identical twins feel enriched by their friendship, have never wished not to be twins, and handle identity mix-ups with a touch of humor.  “If someone I don’t know smiles at me in the grocery store, I smile back because otherwise, they’ll go and ask Beatrice why she was so stuck-up the other day,” chuckled Bernice.

A sense of humor helps twins live with the inevitable, occasional mix-up.  And yes, even moms and dads sometimes err and call one of their twins the wrong name.  Then, it’s reassuring to remember that even parents of singletons call their offspring the wrong name from time to time—and they don’t have a good excuse!

Alice M Vollmar of Minneapolis, Minnesota, is a freelance writer and the mother of six children, including boy/girl twins.

The post Who’s Who? Foolproof strategies for telling identical twins apart appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

When our twin daughters were 3, my husband, Alan and I thought that each might try spending time with each girl individually.  So one Saturday morning, I announced “Today, Michaela gets to have special time with Mommy and Talia’s going to have special time with Daddy.  Won’t that be fun?

Both girls burst into tears.  “I want to be with my sister,” they sobbed in unison.  Alan and I exchanged worried looks, but after explaining to the kids that we’d all be back together soon, I picked up Michaela, gave Talia a hug, and went out the door.  As soon as we go into the car, Michaela’s tears topped.  By the time we had pulled out of the driveway, she was 3 weeks old and came home from the hospital ahead of her smaller sister, she had my undivided attention.  And for me, though I love both my daughters clearly, going out with just one was amazingly peaceful.

Individual time, when each child spends time alone with one parent, quickly became a favorite family activity.  And we’re not alone.  “It’s so easy with one child,” says Jennifer Stone, mother of 4-year-oild Eric and Elise.  “You can really focus on what they’re interested in.”  “There is no fighting!” adds Karen Franks, whose twins, Elisabeth and David, are 5-years-old.

Who has the time?

Many experts stress the importance of encouraging multiples’ individual development and spending time with each child one on one can be an important factor.  As Jan R Hirschmann writes in “In Search of Self” in The Twinship Sourcebook, “While respecting the unique bond that is inherent in the twinship, parents of twins can provide opportunities where each child can grow as an individual.”

Yet harried parents ask, “How can I make time to be alone with each twin?  I can’t manage all I have to do now!”  Or, “How can I do that?  My twins can’t stand to be separated.”  It was hard at first, admits Jennifer Stone.  “They would always want the other twin along,” when a separate outing was proposed.  Stone found that initially, if both twins couldn’t go, they would often choose to stay home rather than be apart.

In their article, “Encouraging Individuality in Twins,” authors Patricia Malmstrom and Elinor Davis note that, “If providing outings for one at a time imposes a great financial or logistical hardship on the family, try something simpler, like a five minute special talk-time with each child every morning, or at bedtime.”

Rockney Walters, father of 17-year-old identical twins, Lauren and Christi, remembers that he and his wife “would regularly read independently with the girls.”  Especially when the twins were little, arranging those few minutes of one-on-one time was all the Walters could manage.  “It was just survival,” he sighs.  As his daughters got a little older, Walters says, “Going for ice cream, even running to the hardware store, any reason for leaving the house, I would have one girl ride with me.”

Walters also notes, “Our girls really liked each other,” and as teenagers, they still choose many of the same activities and shared my friends.  “But they’ve really appreciated time alone with their parents.  The communication channel is much less noisy.”

Building self-esteem

Malmstrom and Davis write that, “Short periods away from a co-twin give each twin the opportunity to interact directly with an adult or other child, without help, interference or competition from each other.  Such experiences can be helpful for the development of language and a sense of individual social competence.”

Victoria Hilkevitch Bedford, associate professor in the department of psychology at the University of Indianapolis, and an identical twin, says she remembers one occasion when she was 5 or 6 years old, her uncle and one of her older cousins took her to the theater all by herself.  “It was one of the happiest experiences in my life,” she says “being the only child, the center of attention.”

Bedford explains that multiples get a lot of special attention just for being multiples.  She and her sister were “constantly oohed and aahed over” as children.  But, she says, that type of attention does nothing to build self-esteem.  “I didn’t earn it,” she emphasizes, adding that when twins spend all their time together, “they don’t really get the chance to find out the response they get just for being.”

Support separate and similar interests

As multiples grow, some may choose separate activities, and parents can help their children to learn that it’s okay to do things without their twins.  Karen Franks says that her daughter Elisabeth takes gymnastics lessons, while David is about to begin a karate class.  During Elisabeth’s sessions at the gym, Franks and her son share a snack and take the opportunity to spend some time together.

Bedford cautions that many twins naturally gravitate to the same pursuits, and parents must walk a fine line in encouraging differences.  Although, Bedford’s parents didn’t emphasize one-on-one time with her or her sister, she says, “My mother went overboard in encouraging separate interests,” labeling her the scientist and her sister the artist.  “When I finally took an art class and loved it, I didn’t tell anyone,” Bedford laughs.

Special together, special apart

Sometimes, unique family circumstances can create memorable opportunities for individual time.  When Franks and her family moved back to the Midwest after spending a year in Connecticut, they had two cars to move.  Franks drove with Elisabeth, while her husband traveled with David and their older daughter.

“Elisabeth got to live out her lifelong fantasy of being an only child!” her mother remarks.  When she and Elisabeth stopped for lunch en route, her daughter looked around and said, “No one here knows I have a twin brother,” Franks says, “She felt she was in disguise as a singleton.”

In a recent conversation, I asked my daughters to explain why they enjoy individual time.  Michaela immediately answered, “We learn things that the other doesn’t know, so we can teach each other.”  Talia agreed and then paused thoughtfully before giving her own reply, “We learn to be separate.” While multiples enjoy a unique bond, ultimately their special relationship becomes even stronger when their parents help them learn to be both together and apart.

Carolyn B Heller of Cambridge, Massachusetts, is a freelance writer and the mother of twin girls.

The post The Center of Attention: Enjoying One-on-One Time with Each Twin appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

Breastfeeding twins is an incredible way to ensure your twins health and can be done.

There it was again–another look of disbelief. Melinda’s confidence dipped a little lower with each look or thoughtless remark: “You’re not going to nurse twins, are you?” or “You’ll have your hands full enough without nursing.” Already exhausted from a lack of sleep–it was hard to get comfortable at night–Melinda was especially vulnerable to negative remarks. Melinda’s concerns–sleep and milk–are not unlike those of thousands of other mothers who eventually find nursing twins one of the most rewarding experiences of their lives. In the beginning, however, the reality–sleep, milk production, emotions and a dramatic change in lifestyle–can be overwhelming.

“When I was breastfeeding my twins, I felt like I had my shirt off 24 hours a day,” recalled Jean Dosdos, a breastfeeding support volunteer through the West Palm Beach Mothers of Twins Club in West Palm Beach, Fla. “I know how frustrating it can be for new moms of twins, and that’s why I volunteer. I know it’s a tremendous help to have that support and encouragement. Otherwise, new moms would quit trying after two or three weeks.”

The Proper Technique for Breastfeeding Twins

Breastfeding Twins is simply a skill you must learn to do correctly.

As soon as your twins are born, you will want to have a Lactation Consultant come in to your hospital room. She will show you how to properly hold each twin, position his or her mouth around your nipple and latch properly onto your breast.

The first steps to successfully nursing twins are to seek out supportive family, friends and an encouraging Pediatrician; get accurate information; and turn a deaf ear to negative remarks.

Talk to other mothers who are nursing twins a couple of months older than yours. Join a Mothers of Twins club and attend La Leche League meetings before your delivery.

Carol Huotari, accredited La Leche League leader and an international board certified lactation consultant, said that commitment is essential to successfully breastfeeding twins. “A migratory field worker pumped her milk three times a day in the bus and the other workers laughed at her, but her commitment was strong and her twins were the healthy ones who didn’t have ear infections.”

Set Goals to Ensure You Will Be Successful at Breastfeeding Your Twins

“Are you going to nurse exclusively for six months? A working mother may supplement with bottles. Think it through and decide what will work in your life,” Huotari advised. Success is defined differently for every mother.

Be Patient with Yourself While You are Learning How to Breastfeed Your Twins

While still in the hospital, talk to a Lactation Consultant about your goals, concerns and lifestyle.

Ask that she be there when you first nurse and ask for a home visit if you have preemies.

Contact your local Lactation Consultant Organization to schedule home visits.

The Lactation Consultant in the hospital will guide you through the first sessions.

These are the learning times for you and your twins. Your newborn twins are trying to latch on and you are establishing your milk supply.

“With twins in the football hold position, you can really watch what they are doing with their mouth,” Huotari explained. As they grow you may find more comfortable positions.

Preemies may take a little longer to latch on since their sucking instinct may not be fully developed. In that case, you may need to pump your breasts to get the milk flowing.

You Will Have Enough Milk to Breastfeed Your Twins

When your twins latch on well and nurse effectively, your milk supply will quickly build.

It is a case of demand and supply. The greater the demand, the more milk you supply. Expect to nurse your newborn twins about 10 to 12 times in a 24-hour period.

Until your twins learn to latch on, it may be a good idea to nurse them one at a time.

“It really helps mothers to individualize their twins and see who’s who. Each baby has a different nursing style,” Huotari said.

Know Which Twin Nursed When and on Which Breast

Whether you continue to nurse them individually or simultaneously, you do it you need to be organized about it. Keeping track of who nursed first and at which breast helps you know how they are feeding.

Each of the twins might have different appetite and sucking behavior.

Therefore, alternate which twin feeds from each breast with every feeding. A great way to remember which twin fed from each breast is to wear a simple bracelet or hairtie on your wrist. Assign the hairtie to Twin A. After you have completed breastfeeding your twins, move the hairtie to the other wrist. This will tell you that Twin A should feed from that breast during the next feeding.

“I breastfed my 30-month-old triplets, Sammy, Hope and Emma. One of the three is still breastfeeding, one weaned at 13 months, the other at 24 months,” said Sheri Ingalls of Port St. Lucie, Fla.

“To keep my milk supply up, I nursed the babies on demand through the night. It also alleviated some of my concern over the babies getting enough to eat. During the day, the babies had to be on a schedule so that I could ensure that each one had the opportunity to be first–which was the easiest let-down–and last, which was the longest time on Mommy. If I allowed them to nurse on demand all the time, Hope would have nursed all day and left the smaller ones with nothing.”

Sleep When Your Twins Sleep

Allison Berryhill of Atlantic, Iowa, found nighttime nursing to be a way of life during her twin boys’ most milk-dependent months. “With newborns, I reclined in a pillow-piled Lay-Z-Boy, each boy to a breast, attached for the night. I did not get long, uninterrupted hours of slumber, but I was no more sleep-deprived than during the final months of pregnancy when few positions were comfortable.”

Sleep becomes the top priority–after establishing your milk supply and feeding your twins.

The rule for mothers of twins is sleep when your twins sleep.

You’ll get more rest if you can learn to nurse lying down in bed and if you set up a comfortable “nursing station” for the days.

Whether it is a Lay-Z-Boy or a comfortable sofa, you need room to prop plenty of pillows and a footstool for your feet. On a table within easy reach have a telephone, diapers, a notepad for jotting down who nursed first and where, and a snack and a beverage.

A well-arranged nursing station means you won’t have to hop up once you’re settled and you will be more rested.

You Must Take Care of Yourself Before You Can Care for Your Twins

If you become fatigued your ability to keep a positive outlook while coping with the ups and downs of nursing twins diminishes.

You must take care of yourself first.

That means sleeping as much as possible, eating right and drinking plenty of fluids each day.

The number one piece of advice new mothers of twins offer expectant mothers is to get help with the household chores and cooking.

But housework may have to wait. Cooking is something others do for you.

Only you can nurse your twins.

Sleep deprivation and neglecting your basic care just opens the door to depression.

About 10% of women have postpartum depression the first year, but with mothers of twins the figure jumps to 25%, according to Huotari. When you are home and alone with your babies, you can quickly feel isolated and overwhelmed.

Be sure you have a friend to talk with, one who understands the special demands of multiples.

Don’t Give Up

Regardless of how much support you have and how well you prepare mentally, the reality of your new job can be an emotional seesaw and the adjustment definitely takes time.

Huotari offered some sage advice: If you feel like giving up, stick with what you’re doing for three days and then see how you feel. Remember, tens of thousands of nursing mothers say joy does come out of the early chaos.

Sheri summed up: “Don’t listen to other people, not even doctors, when they tell you it can’t be done. You can make enough milk. You can get some sleep. You can have a life! Don’t give up if it’s tough at first, because after your babies are bigger and getting more milk in a shorter period of time, it’s a breeze.”

BREASTFEEDING FAQs

How can I tell if my twins are nursing effectively?

Most newborns breastfeed 10 to 12 times per 24-hour period. They nurse for 15 to 30 minutes at a feeding and swallow after every one or two sucks. A baby who is having difficulty getting enough to eat will not latch on properly, may want to nurse inordinately long and will not swallow often.

How do I know if my babies are getting enough to eat?

After the first couple of days, they saturate six to eight diapers per day and have from three to five bowel movements.

With multiples, it is helpful to keep notes on who nursed at which breast, for how long, and the number of wet and soiled diapers. An electronic scale help your confidence.

Once your milk and their weight gain are established, tracking the nursing schedules and diapers is not essential.

Why are my twins suddenly starving all day and night?

Growth spurts occur periodically; the first may come as early as 10 to 14 days after birth. The next one may surface around four to six weeks and another one around three months.

Prop your feet up and nurse, nurse, nurse on demand. Your milk supply will quickly catch up with your twins’ needs. If, however, you respond with supplemental bottles, your milk supply may not increase to meet the rising demand.

Can I nurse my preemies in the NICU?

Babies develop the ability to swallow when they are 11 to 16 weeks in utero.

The ability to suck follows a few weeks later. The ability to coordinate both actions and breathing comes later still. If your babies are very low birth weight, you may have to express your breast.

Expect to pump for a total of 100 to 120 minutes a day. The NICU will watch for signs that your preemies are ready for nutritive sucking.

The post Breastfeeding Twins: It Can Be Done! appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

Dear New Mom and Dad of Twins:

Expecting twins for the first time? Parenting twins can be stressful, but it can also be one of the best experiences of your lives. I have a twin sister; we are fraternal twins. Twenty-one years ago, my parents found out they were expecting twins during the first ultrasound. It was quite the surprise for them! They were excited but also worried about having double of everything. My sister and I were born 11 weeks premature. Because of our early arrival, my parents had to quickly prepare for double the amount of baby clothes, the messes and the future expenses. But, there was also double the amount of fun and love that had to be provided.

Preparing for twins can be demanding, but it is important for parents to be ready when the twins arrive. Joan A. Friedman, a psychotherapist and twin expert from southern California, says parents can prepare for having twins by developing expectations that are realistic. Parents will be busy and stressed, so they need to set some time aside to relax. Friedman says parents should work together to make parenting more efficient.

“Work out with your partner beforehand how you will attempt to help each other during these difficult early months,” Friedman says.

To prepare for having twins, my parents also had realistic expectations. They knew that they would have to think about the little aspects, including buying enough diapers and balancing feeding times. My mother says the first few nights after my sister and I came home from the hospital, my father kept insisting that since he had to go to work the next day, he needed his sleep. My mother got up and fed both of us. But, when she fed us, she also woke my father up, so he didn’t get much sleep anyway.

“What we ended up doing was both getting up and each feeding a baby, and then we went back to bed and slept until it was time to feed the babies again. That worked much better than the first approach.”

It is also important that parents know they can ask for help. Friedman says parents should not be afraid to ask others around them for help when caring for twins. “Don’t be reluctant as you will need extra laps and hands,” Friedman says.

Ask a relative to help out with the twins once a week, or ask a friend to spend a few hours with one of the twins. My grandparents pitched in when they could even though they lived a few hours away. My mother says my grandma came to help right after we came home from the hospital. She also visited sometimes during the day to babysit, so my parents got a chance to eat out or go shopping.

There are also many useful resources for new parents, including books about twins, twins’ clubs, pediatricians and talking with other parents who are raising twins. Friedman says new parents should not be hard on themselves; it is okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes. She says parents should do what they think is best when it comes down to their parenting style.

“It is about surviving and doing a good enough job, not a perfect one.”

My parents talked to a pediatrician and found him to be very helpful. He was a twin himself, which added to his knowledge of twins. He gave my parents many tips about baby nutrition and tips on how to care for twins when both babies become sick.

“The family pediatrician, Dr. Stein, told us which medicines to give to the girls,” says my mother. “He was especially helpful when you girls got pink eye multiple times.”

Another key piece of advice is to expect that new parents will both be tired and overwhelmed at first. My parents created a schedule to balance different tasks.

“I would take out the trash and fill up the bottles, while Mom changed diapers and dressed the girls,” says my father. “Although I was exhausted at first, it got easier once we figured out a routine.”

According to The Twin Coach, a website created by Gina Osher, a mother of twins, new parents should stay calm and talk to other parents of multiples. By reaching out and conversing with other parents, parents can become more knowledgeable about twins and learn about ways to provide the best care for their twins. My family lived next door to twin boys who were four years older than we were. We became close with our neighbors, and my mother got a lot of free parenting advice from their mother.

In addition, Friedman says it is important to spend alone time with each twin in order to get to know him or her individually. As twins grow older, parents can see their differences and they can work to treat their twins as individuals.

My parents tried to treat my sister and me as individuals. As toddlers, my parents dressed us differently and encouraged us to spend time with other children.

“I wanted to make sure you girls were individuals with your own personalities and interests,” says my mother. “But, at the same time, I wanted you to be friends and have a good relationship.”

Friedman also says that parents cannot make their twins’ lives completely equal.

“Don’t get caught up in the fair and equal dilemma even though your twins attempt to guilt you into such a conundrum.”

Parents try to make everything fair, but it is just not possible. Each twin has different personality traits and different wants as he or she grows older. Instead of making everything fair, parents should focus on encouraging each twin to live his or her own life, so everything does not seem like it has to be equal.

Nonetheless, twins become friends because they spend a lot of time with each other. My parents encouraged my sister and me to have a close relationship. The twin relationship is a special one that twins should foster. My twin sister and I have different interests, but we are also very close; we can talk about anything with each other.

Furthermore, Friedman says parents should not focus on the “twin mystique.” By doing this, parents tend to idealize what it is to be a twin. She says that parents should take note of the pros and cons of parenting twins.

Friedman recommends parents read her first book, Emotionally Healthy Twins: A New Philosophy for Parenting Two Unique Children. Her book provides parents with information about pregnancy with twins and raising twins.

I hope this information will help you as you begin your journey of parenting twins. Having twins will bring you double the amount of joy and memorable experiences. My parents continue to learn about twins and make new memories, even after 21 years.

Best wishes,

Marie Cash, a fraternal twin

As a recent college graduate, Marie has a bachelor’s degree in journalism from the University of Northern Colorado. She enjoys reading, writing and baking new recipes for her food blog. Marie has a fraternal twin named Kathy. They are best friends and both live in Colorado. Someday they want to attend the Twins Day Festival in Twinsburg, Ohio.

The post Tips for New Parents with Twins: An Open Letter from a Twin appeared first on TWINS Magazine.