Many of those procrastinators are busy parents like yourselves with neverending daily to-do lists on top of regular parenting tasks, including preparing meals, school drop-offs, bedtime routines, and other activities. It’s no wonder some parents find themselves at the toy store on Christmas Eve wrestling another panicked parent for the last Hatchimals surprise egg.

The holiday season is kicking off earlier and earlier. As soon as those Halloween decorations come down, parents’ stress levels go up. If you haven’t started your holiday shopping yet, here are 10 things you’re missing out on by not shopping early.

1. The Twelve Months of Deals

It’s a misconception that retailers offer their best deals closer to Christmas. The fact is, you can find fantastic deals all year round with a little strategizing of what and when to buy. Black Friday, for instance, offers some of the lowest prices of the year on tons of items. It’s especially a good time to buy electronics (like that 65-inch TV dad has been talking about ever since the neighbors Super Bowl party, which he says ruined regular TVs for him forever.)

If you’re looking to buy winter clothes, including coats, sweaters, and matching jammies, you’ll save more money shopping in January when retailers are under pressure to clear out all the leftover winter inventory before spring. The same goes for other seasonal items such as bikes. It’s best to shop right before the stock for the new season hits shelves.

2. Shopping around on a Christmas spree

Last-minute holiday shopping can feel like a mad dash. Hurds of people rushing from store to store, scrambling to find ANY gift – never mind the perfect one. It’s the reason you end up being the gift recipient of a creepy cat clock, which you now have to re-gift to your child’s teacher because you also waited too long to shop  It’s a vicious cycle that can easily be broken by beating the holiday rush. When the clock is ticking (no pun intended), people tend to grab whatever is leftover.

You can be a confident and money-savvy gifter when you take the time to shop around. Browsing gift guides for inspiration is a great place to start. You’ll also have the opportunity to price match to make sure you’re getting the best bang for your buck.

3. All The Christmas Stockings!

The closer you shop to Christmas Eve, the more you begin to feel like you’re in one of those post-apocalyptic movies, hunting and scavenging nearly empty store shelves for supplies.

But in this case, it’s Lego, because the 500 pieces that currently occupy your living room floor, some of which are now permanently embedded in your feet, aren’t enough.

Shopping earlier or during times of the year when items are at their peak season guarantees there will be plenty of stock to choose from.

Tip: Subscribe to the mailing lists of your favourite stores to get early access to specials and even exclusive deals right to your inbox. This ensures you’re one of the first in line to scoop up the item as soon as it goes on sale and before it goes out of stock.

4. It’s not just the weather outside that’s frightful

If you’ve ever tried doing hot yoga in a snowsuit while balancing several heavy bags of rocks in each hand and a coffee on your head, that’s what shopping in the wintertime feels like. Walking around the mall with all those layers on –puffy coats, sweaters, scarves, and mitts– plus all the shopping bags is exhausting to even talk about. And that’s if you can even make it there through all the snowstorms.

Not having to shop in the winter means fewer layers and nicer weather conditions to contend with. You also don’t have to worry about stores and banks suddenly closing because of bad weather. Besides, it’s much easier to push a full shopping cart when you’re not having to plow through 5-feet of snow across the entire parking lot while your kids scream in your ear to go faster. We call this shopping move “the downward sled dog.”

5. Shopping in your pajamas

Many parents don’t have time to shop in-store during the holidays. Did we mention that parents are busy? I mean we eat 156 meals a year standing up for goodness sake! Seriously, there was a study about it and everything. The alternative is shopping online. 

Online shopping is the most convenient way to purchase gifts because you can do it from anywhere at any time from your mobile device. Product selection is often better online, with additional styles and colours to choose from.

You can conveniently have gifts shipped directly to your house for a small fee or to the nearest store for free. Make sure to double-check each retailer’s website for shipping deadlines as they may vary.

6. Rocking the ship out of Christmas

If you have gifts to ship, getting your shop on early guarantees you won’t be scrambling to get everything delivered by Christmas or get stuck using couriers and paying expensive priority fees. You can take advantage of free shipping at some retailers like Amazon and eBay when you shop ahead of the busy holiday period. You’re also prepared if the post office inconveniently goes on strike, which could cause delivery delays.

Make sure to check out the shipping deadlines for retailers and the post office so they can ship those pants out early or you’ll be shipping your pants come December 22nd.

7. No cuts, no buts, no crowds going nuts

The worst aspects of holiday shopping are undoubtedly the large crowds and endless lineups. It’s amazing what people are willing to do for a deal, like camping out for days in the blistering cold huddled next to strangers, making small talk while discreetly relieving themselves in a urine bag. If this isn’t how you want to spend your holidays, get to the stores before the Christmas season starts, even before Black Friday.

Shopping during the retail off-season means no queues or angry mall mobs to fend off or customers next to you eyeballing your shopping cart. Let’s not even talk about parking. Get your shopping done during non-holiday periods and we promise you’ll be in and out of the store faster than you can say Happy Hour.

8. Gifting like Santa and saving like Scrooge

The most wonderful time of the year often turns into the most expensive time of the year for most families. Never mind buying gifts for friends, relatives, teachers, the mailman, and the dog, but there’s also the food, the drinks, the parties, and the travel expenses. Hmm, starting to see things from Scrooge’s perspective.

The benefit of shopping early or slowly throughout the year is that you can spread out your expenses into more manageable funds. Make the effort to put together a budget at the beginning of the year, or at the very least, the beginning of the season. Setting spending limits for gifts and additional holiday expenses is also a good idea. All of these steps can help save you time, money, and stress.

9. Saying Yes to No Stress

Nothing turns someone into a Grinch faster than the stress of the holidays. The key is to be organized and have a plan of attack. Otherwise, you will be stuck on Christmas Eve running around like a chicken with your head cut off at the grocery store, and ironically, holding a couple of frozen chickens because the grocery store ran out of turkeys.

There’s a reason why your annoying friend, the one who hums Christmas carols in July and has her gifts wrapped and under the tree by November 1st, is so happy and cheery all the time. She doesn’t have to step foot in a store during the holidays! Imagine how great it would be to have all your holiday shopping done early this year? You can sit back with your glass of wine, binge-watch Christmas movies all night, and still have time to move the stupid Elf on the Shelf before the kids wake up.

10. More time for fun and family

With the shopping out of the way, you’ll have more opportunity to spend with your loved ones and do all the Hallmark Christmas stuff you never get to do, such as roasting chestnuts on an open fire! Even though you’re allergic to nuts, you’re doing it anyway because people sing about it and you have time now. And you can send out Christmas cards with an adorable photo of your family in matching reindeer pajamas. Finally, you can rub your holiday happiness in everyone else’s face!

Turns out your holiday-obsessed friend and those retail Christmas creeps were on to something after all. The key to enjoying the holidays is actually getting to enjoy the holidays. Who knew? So give yourself the gift of shopping early this year so you can spend more time with the people you care about instead of a bunch of salty strangers ready to rumble over $2 bath towels.

Melanie Gibson is a Canadian comedy writer and spokesperson known for her razor-sharp wit and dry/sarcastic humour. When she’s not writing, you can find her in the ‘hood, fighting off invisible bad guys with her two sidekicks (sons, ages 1 & 3) and rescuing wine trapped in bottles.

Twitter: @sugarwits |  Instagram: @sugar.wits |  Facebook

The post 10 Things You’re Missing Out on by Not Shopping Early this Holiday Season appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

As a friend or family member, you can greatly help parents of twins by purchasing these much-needed items.

Instead of buying them adorable outfits or the latest and greatest new pacifier, what they really need are these essential items.

As parents of twins ourselves, we have created this list of gifts for twins that will help you stand out from their other friends.

1. A Lightweight Double Stroller Frame

The most useful gift for twin babies anyone can buy is a Lightweight Double Frame Stroller!

A double frame stroller is designed to allow you to snap your twins’ car seats directly into a lightweight stroller frame. This is important because your twins will spend much of their first six months sleeping and growing.

The Baby Trend Snap N Go is by far our favorite. It works with all the major car seat brands without any additional attachments.

Product details:

Recommended weight: 5lbs to 40lbs

Lowest price: Amazon.com

Price: $75.34

By simply unsnapping your car seats from their bases in your car and snapping them into the stroller frame, you will be able to take your twins on outings without having to wake them up.

2. Two Infant Car Seats

The first type of car seat you can buy as gifts for twin babies is designed specifically for infants.

The carrier portion of the car seat can be removed from the base, which will remain in your car. By removing the car seat from the base, you will be able to let your twins continue to sleep and will not need to wake them up by removing them from the car seats.

All the car seats we recommend are compatible with the Baby Trend Snap N Go double stroller frame.

The Graco SnugRide SnugLock 35 LX Featuring TrueShield Technology is our number one recommendation for newborn infant car seats. It is Graco’s safest car seat yet. It has received 4.7 out of 5 stars from customers on Amazon.

3. A Bassinett Designed for Newborn Twins

Sometimes called a “portable Playard,” pack-n-play, or bassinet, a foldable crib will be an important staple of your new life as a parent of twins.

This Playard can be placed next to your bed during the early days when your twins are feeding frequently.

You can also bring it into the living room and use it during the day for naps and as a safe place to lay your twins down.

This will be the place you lay your twins down to nap throughout much of the day. During the day, many parents have this crib in the main sitting room. At night, many parents bring this crib into their bedroom.

In the early days, your twins will feed a lot. Most new babies feed every 1-2 hours for weeks. Having this crib right next to the bed makes these frequent feedings much easier.

The Baby Trend Twin Nursery Center is more than just a portable crib. It comes with an organizational basket and removable bassinets.

When your twins are older, it is a great place for them to safely play and practice tummy time.

4. Two Bouncer Seats

One of the absolute must-have gifts for twin babies is a bouncer seat for each twin.

The Fisher-Price Infant-to-Toddler Rocker is our favorite choice for bouncer seats. These seats are comfortable, well-made, lightweight, and adorable.

Product details:

Colors: 8 colors and patterns to choose from

Price: $29.00-$69.99

Lowest price: Amazon

These seats can be used for many purposes. They are the perfect place to bottle-feed your twins. Simply sit your babies in the seats, strap them in, and feed.

Babies love to be held. Holding one baby for hours a day can be tough enough, but holding twins can often be impossible. We often placed our twins into these bouncers, strapped them in, and gently rocked them with our feet. Often the gently rocking put them right to sleep and allowed us to get a much-needed break.

These bouncers are also a great, safe place to put your twins if you need to go to the bathroom or get something to eat.

Unlike a large bassinet or portable Playard, these bouncers can easily be taken into the kitchen, bathroom, porch, yard, or anywhere else you want to go.

5. An Awesome Diaper Bag Created for Newborn Twins

Initially, parents of newborn twins will need a diaper bag that has a lot of smaller compartments to help them organize all of their twins’ items. It should also come with an insulated compartment for bottles, a changing pad, and a baby wipes container.

The Bag Nation Diaper Bag Backpack is an awesome backpack for parents of newborn twins.

It has tons of pockets designed to hold diapers, bottles, wipes, clothing, toys, and more. It comes with a large changing pad and can be worn as a backpack so you can get it completely out of the way.

Product details:

Price: $65.95

Lowest price: Amazon

6. A Comfortable, Versatile Baby Carrier

Many parents of newborn twins have so many items to buy for their twins, that they try to save money by buying a cheap baby carrier or not buying one at all.

Helping them buy these much-needed gifts for twin babies is a great way to show your support.

This is one of the nicest, most helpful gifts you can buy a parent of newborn twins.

There are some carriers made specifically for carrying twins, but we do not recommend them. They are hard to use and we did not find many times when carrying both twins at once was needed or practical.

When the twins are firstborn, parents of twins will want to use a baby wrap. Baby wraps allow the parent to attach the baby to them in a variety of ways. They keep the newborn’s neck protected and the baby close to their parent.

Our favorite wrap for carrying newborn babies is the Ergo Baby Wrap by CuddleBug. It allows you to essentially swaddle your baby against your body. It is versatile, comfortable, and effective.

Product details:

Size: For Newborns and babies from 2 to 35lbs

Colors: Comes in grey and pink

Price: $37.95

Lowest price: Amazon

The Ergobaby 360 All Carry Positions Award-Winning Ergonomic Baby Carrier is our favorite versatile baby carrier by far.

Product details:

Size: NOT for Newborns. Use this carrier with twins weighing 12-33lbs.

Colors: Comes in 16 colors and patterns

Price: $104.95- $160.00

Lowest price: Amazon

In summary, the best gifts for newborn twins are those the parent will need. Be the friend who buys them a great gift for their twins and helps ease the financial burden of preparing for twins.

Comment below and let us know if we left any cool gifts for newborn twins off our list.

The post The Best Gifts for Twin Babies appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

As an adult, I consider myself very lucky to have an identical twin sister. Now that we both have our own children, we often talk about the wonderful childhood memories we share—along with a few of the twin-related struggles we wish could be erased. It would be amazing if we could simply press the rewind button on a magical remote control and re-record some past events.

Yet, the reality is that we all have some life lessons to uncover, and that includes twins. In fact, it has taken my twin and me years to learn and then to convey one message: Even though we are a fabulous duo, we are also amazing individuals who must only fulfill the expectations we have for ourselves. I have also become my sister’s number-one fan, encouraging her acting and singing pursuits while she supports my many writing endeavors.

I know—being the twin that I am—I should think twice before giving any advice. Yet if parents of twins benefit by having as much information and guidance as they can muster, who better to share with them unique insights than me, a twin?

Each twin—like every child—needs to feel that she is a special individual. Many times my sister and I were referred to as “the twins,” by well-meaning people in our lives, instead of by our separate names. After a while, we began to feel like one entity, as if we were a pair of shoes, barely distinguishable (except one of us was the left, and the other, the right.) We gently reminded everyone what our names were and responded once we were called by them. Even if twins look similar and have shared interests, it’s vital to nurture each twin’s persona—her strengths, aspirations and talents.

The key to mastering this philosophy is to keep the doors—double doors—of communication open. Parents should schedule alone-time or “special” time for doing an activity of each twin’s choice—even if it’s just to have a conversation. Then when situations arise that twins have trouble handling, they’re more likely to feel comfortable discussing them with adults, parents especially.

Validate each twin’s feelings, even if you don’t understand them. After all, it’s difficult for singletons to understand what it’s like to live as a twin. Having family discussions with all children is a key ingredient in many successful families. Twins, in particular, may need to discuss unique issues such as whether or not they want to dress alike. This is a topic so many parents of twins wonder about; in fact, the ones whom I’ve met have always asked me about it. The answer, to me, is to ask the twins about their feelings once they are old enough. Some toddlers know at an early age what their preferences are. They may even want to dress alike at times and differently at others. This can change as they grow.

For example, my twin and I loved dressing alike as toddlers all the way through sixth grade. Then, when our family moved from the Bronx to the suburbs, we changed our minds. Starting at a new school was difficult enough without peers saying we looked like “The Bobsey Twins.” Students and teachers had been comparing us so much we were compelled to express our individuality. One way of doing this was through our attire.

For the first time, we purchased single clothing items and the doubles that we already had in our closets were worn on different days by each of us. We told our parents about this and asked them to encourage our relatives, who bought us gifts, to honor this request as well.

Adults can help prepare twins and family members for situations they encounter—and model possible responses. I know for my sister and me this would have been extremely helpful in dealing with the insensitive comparisons made—and the ridiculous questions onlookers often ask.

Additionally, our younger sister, who felt “left out” because nobody ever made a “big deal” about her, would also have benefited from these discussions. My twin and I often explained to our younger sister that we didn’t like the constant attention we received—however positive people might have intended it to be—because it often led to onlookers asking or commenting which of us was “nicer,” “prettier,” or “smarter.”

Sly sarcasm, devilish grins

Until we learned how to respond, we usually remained silent, often feeling badly for the twin relegated to second place. As we grew, we learned appropriate responses to these unfair critiques. We used light sarcasm and laughter as powerful tools. When asked which of us was prettier, I might say, “Oh, my sister, of course. She’s gorgeous and I look just like her.”

Or, to the question: “Which one of you is nicer?” I have responded, “Neither of us; we’re both double trouble.” A big grin usually sealed the response nicely.

Each set of twins is a one-of-a-kind partnership. No two sets of kids are really alike. People often generalize about twins because they know one set and think everybody else is the same, but it’s just not true.

Decisions about children, including twins, are specific to every family’s situation. When parents of twins ask me questions about whether or not their twins should be placed in the same class, or be allowed to wear a ring or pierced earrings to differentiate one from the other, the best answer I can give them is that “It’s a personal choice,” based on the circumstances unique to their twins’ relationship.

I always like to assure parents that if they make mistakes—like all parents do—they can make adjustments later and move forward. For example, twins in one of my children’s classes were separated during first grade at the school’s recommendation. For second grade, however, the twins’ parents, based on feedback from their kids, requested that the school place them in the same second grade class.

Although my twin sister lives in a different state, I share an indescribable bond with her. When our children—her three girls and my two boys—are together, it’s as if we are one family. It was like this from the moment our children met. As adults, we remain similar in the ways we dress and our food preferences. We often buy each other identical items, and our families spend holidays and summer vacations together.

Now when we get together, we relish onlookers’ attention and hope one day to do commercials or pursue other twin-related endeavors. We may use the same pitch we used when pursuing our babysitting careers at age 12: “Two for the price of one.”

The post Tales from Twins: Twin Advice appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

Potty training… Now or later?  My husband and I agreed to delay answering that dreaded question until we heard from the experts.  Marriage and family therapist Nonie Bradley and certified parent educator Sherry Ittner, parents themselves, team-teach parenting classes in Southern California, including one on potty training, which they break down into six helpful steps.  And with potty training, as with much in the lives of twins, it’s two steps forward and one step back.

1)  Readiness

Each child is unique in this process.  “A key element,” Ittner says, “is bladder control: Is your child having longer intervals between diaper changes?”  Typically, girls show readiness between the ages of 2 and 2 ½ and boys by the age of 3.  That was the experience for Diane Aiken, of Encinitas, California, mother of boy/girl twins.  “My daughter had bladder control right away.” Aiken says, “But my son is taking a little longer.”  While the readiness of your child is primary, parental readiness should not be overlooked.  Aiken agrees, “One morning I woke up and decided I was ready to start the potty training process and we began.”

Bradley stressed the importance to parents of “owning their feelings” towards potty training because children are highly intuitive and often reflect their parents’ feelings.  “Get real clear on your attitudes before starting the next step, preparing,” Bradley cautions.

2)  Preparing

The preparing stage can start as early as 18-months because you are simply introducing the idea of using a potty.  Shop around and purchase a potty but, as Ittner suggests, “Introduce the potty gradually by letting your child explore.  Ask them if they want to sit on the potty, but if they say ‘no’, quit.  You and your child are still becoming comfortable with the idea and preparing for the next phase.

“At 18-months, a child learns through observation and imitating others, so parents and siblings are encouraged to model the behavior,” Ittner explains.

“Blake and Brent were much more interested in standing and going potty like their big brother than using the smaller potty,” says Shawn Homan, mother of fraternal twin boys in Oceanside, California. Twins can also model behavior for each other.  They see their twin use the potty and don’t want to be left out, so they try, too.  “The time involved in potty training twins,” Homan admits, “wasn’t cut in half, but it was much easier.”

3)  Step By Step

Even after preparing the groundwork, parents tend to fall into the trap of questioning their children.  “Do you want to stop wearing diapers?”  Instead, Joanna Cole, in her book Parents Book of Toilet Teaching, advocates making positive statements such as, “We think you are ready to stop wearing diapers and start using the potty.”

As with preparing your children and letting them explore the potty, underpants should also be gradually introduced.  It is important not to rush the process.  Set a date with your children and make positive statements.  Tell them:  “We are going to go shopping for some new underpants.”

“Include your child.” Cole recommends.  “Let them select their underpants.”  Also, be sure to buy underpants that are big enough to pull up and down easily.  Your twins will need about a dozen pairs each—in preparation for accidents.  After your twins select their underpants, don’t hide the new pants in a drawer.  Let your twins admire themselves in the mirror with their new underpants.

Kelly O’Connell of Seal Beach, California, recalls: “It was a big deal going to buy big boy underpants and big girl panties for my triplets.”  O’Connell laughs as she recalls, “The excitement didn’t end at the store—they showed them off to everyone!”

Next, lead them to the potty.  Use a positive statement, such as “Remember, you’re not wearing diapers now, so you’ll have to use the potty.”

As we discussed, however, you can lead a child to the potty but you can’t make him go.  Bradley recommends that parents relax and not panic.  Be ready for accidents and remind your child of the potty for the “next time.”

4)  Night Dryness

“Night dryness” develops later in most children because they are still working on control during the day.  Until your child has fewer daytime accidents and has developed greater bladder control, use a diaper for naptime and during the night.

Eventually, when your child is ready for a diaper-free night, prepare yourself.  Double-sheet the bed, avoid any drinks for your child one hour prior to bedtime and leave the potty in an accessible area.

5)  Learning Period

Potty training can be frustrating for parents because they are learning new techniques to teach their child, according to Bradley and Ittner.  From showing them how to pull down pants to friendly reminders like, “Let’s go potty.” Potty training is an entirely new arena for most parents.  Accordingly, Bradley advises that accidents will happen, with minor setbacks and periods of regression for the child and parent.

6)  Parental Attitudes and Behaviors

Bradley and Ittner stress the acceptance of feelings.  “Frustration or perfectionism,” Bradley says, “are feelings you wouldn’t want to transmit to your child.”

Parents and children are learning and developing new skills with each other.  Bradley reminds everyone, “Be gentle with yourself and your child.” Whether the topic is positive discipline or potty training, Bradley and Ittner encourage “firm and kind” parenting.  “Be kind out of respect for our children and firm out of respect for ourselves,” Bradley explains.

When a problem arises between parents on the “how-to-potty” approach, Bradley encourages parents to privately discuss the matter away from the children.  One approach is to use a code word that signals to your partner the need to talk.  One couple in one of their potty training classes offered their code word of “Bob” which stood for “Back off Buddy,” when a potty training issue arose. Most of the couples reported that jointly they form the “firm and kind” parenting approach, but individually each parent tended to be closer to one spectrum than sharing both characteristics.  While one tended to be firm, the other leaned towards being kind.

Bradley acknowledged the gifts both types of parenting offer.  A “firm” parent brings the gift of structure and boundaries and a “kind” parent bring the gift of love and patience.  Children need both these gifts.  “Create the balance of structure and boundaries, within an atmosphere of love and patience, and the children will thrive,” Bradley stated.

Since attending this class, my husband and I have been able to turn the question, “Potty train now or potty train later? Into a positive statement…  “We think now is the time and, in the team approach to potty training, unity works.”

Mary Billiter Thomas lives in Oceanside, California with her husband and identical twin boys.

The post Six Steps to Potty Training Your Pair appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

Try your best to imagine experiencing almost every moment in life with another person who is the same age, has the same number of siblings and parents, has the same last name, lives in your house, goes to the same school, has the same teacher, and goes through life on the same waking, eating, playing, bathing, and sleeping schedule as you. That is how many twins go through their early years of life. 

The individuation process that every young child experiences is complicated for twins – they not only have to learn to separate from their parents, they also have to learn to separate from their twin sibling, to whom they are so deeply connected from birth. Parents can impede the process by raising them into existence as a pair of children instead of as two single children. Research suggests that twins who were treated as a solitary unit by their parents had more difficulty forming their individual identities than twins who were treated more distinctly.

It could be argued that parents of twins generally have a more challenging early parenting experience than parents of singletons. There are countless considerations a parent of twins has to make that her parenting peers who have singleton children never face, like spoon-feeding two hungry babies at the same time, maneuvering a double stroller through the super-market, or (brace yourself) having to choose which child’s college graduation to attend when both twins’ college graduations occur on the same weekend in different cities.

So what could a parent of twins possibly learn from a parent of singletons? At least one very important thing: how to raise a singleton — well, at least how to make our twin children’s experiences more like that of their singleton peers.

Yes, by making some easy adjustments, we parents can help our twin children feel more like unique individuals and less like a mere half of a pair.

In that spirit, I compiled these top 6 tips for encouraging individuality.

1)  RETHINK THE RHYMES

Let’s face it: it’s cute and it’s fun to name your twin children Will and Jill or to use alliteration and call them Beverly and Bella. When we do this, however, we reinforce the notion that they are each part of a set as opposed to two separate individuals. If you have already chosen such names, perhaps you can give at least one of them a nickname –a nickname that doesn’t rhyme with the other child’s name, for heaven’s sake!  Related side note: always refer to your children by their names rather than referring to them as “the twins.” And take the time to encourage relatives and friends to respect and follow your lead here.  The rule is important whether your children are within earshot or not. It’s critical that you and other essential people in their lives develop the habit of talking about them and thinking of them as individuals.

2)  DRESS THEM DIFFERENTLY

Again, the cuteness factor reigns here: who doesn’t love the attention one receives when she’s walking her twins down the street and they are wearing the same exact outfit, down to the color and brand of shoe? It’s undeniably adorable to see little twins dressed alike. Still, by doing so, you are unintentionally sending the message to them and the world that they are simply two peas in a pod. Two perfectly identical peas in a pod. But your children are not uniform vegetables; they are exceptional animate beings with distinguishing personalities and traits. If you simply cannot resist putting them in the same outfit for a photo, allow yourself some slack and take the darn photo. But most of your photos should instead help to celebrate them as the extraordinary individuals that they are.  When your twins are old enough, encourage them to pick out their own clothes. They may choose to match each other at times, but believe me, there will be times when they want to look nothing like one another.

3)  DON’T FORCE THEM TO SHARE

When we were little, we were taught to share. So when our kids are young, we instinctively tell them they have to share. Sharing is an important skill that young children must develop in order to succeed socially.

BUT, your twins will be asked to share exponentially more times than the average singleton child for the simple reason that twins generally have more opportunities to share by virtue of playing in the same room together for most of their waking hours. And even though one of your twin children will almost always be playing with her twin sibling, she shouldn’t always be forced to share. In fact, she should have things that are hers and hers alone — things over which she can rightfully assert jurisdiction. Having one’s own things is essential to helping a child develop her sense of self, which is critical for a child who is a twin.

If it’s possible financially and logistically to put the twin children in separate rooms, do so to allow each of them to claim her own space. If two separate rooms are not available, try to give each child her own space in the twins’ shared room (or in another room). Allow the child to decorate and organize the space as she wishes and support her efforts to ‘protect’ the space from unwanted intrusion by siblings.

4)  (REALLY) LEARN WHO EACH ONE IS

Relate to, and converse with, your children individually. When your twin children are young, ask them questions about what they like and don’t like so that you can learn early on what makes each child tick. Learn (and don’t forget!) which child likes which food and which colors and which songs. When you’re alone with one of your children, tell him what you’ve observed about him – tell him which wonderful and distinct attributes about him make you the most proud.

5)  MAKE TIME FOR ONE-ON-ONE INTERACTION

In order to really discover each child, you will need alone time with her during which she can feel comfortable to confide in you, without commentary or judgment from another family member. Engaging in separate activities with each child will further help bond you to each child as well as help the child feel special and unique. 

Many adult twins will tell you that they cannot recall sitting down for one meal with a parent without their twin sibling present. Take your young twin child to her favorite restaurant alone, just the two of you. You’ll be amazed at how happy this will make her — and you’ll be amazed at how much she’ll open up and share!

It’s also important for others in your twins’ lives to have one-on-one time. If there are other non-twin children in the family, coordinate times for each twin to have separate time with the non-twin sibling(s). If you can arrange for your twins to have alone-time with grandparents, aunts, cousins, etc., all the better! This will help your relatives discover what’s particular and enchanting about each child and this will help your twin children feel more like individuals. And don’t forget to schedule different play dates for your children with different friends. It makes sense that two different kids might get along (or not get along) with different peers, right?

6)  BIRTHDAY PARTIES SHOULD BE TAILORED FOR EACH TWIN         

It’s conceivable that a twin child might feel shortchanged by having to share his birthday party every year. Discuss having separate birthday parties with each child in private. If one child wishes to celebrate separately, honor that wish and consider representing the decision for separate birthday parties as one you alone have made. 

If you are welcoming birthday gifts for your twin children, gently guide relatives and friends as to the differing gift wish lists of each child. If your children are given identical gifts, separate your children or have them sit back-to-back when opening them. This way, each child can experience the joy and surprise of discovering the new gift without having it ruined by witnessing his twin sibling’s reaction upon unwrapping. 

If your twins decide to share their birthday party, there are simple ways to make your twins’ birthday feel more special for each child: make a personalized toast to each child; bake (or buy) two separate cakes (with each child’s respective favorite flavors and decorations); and sing “Happy Birthday” twice.

Whether it’s a celebration of the magical day your twins were born or a weekend full of errands and play dates, always consider that there are two children involved – two children with very distinctive needs and desires. In fact, in any situation, you may want to ask yourself, what would a parent of a singleton do…?

Dara Lovitz, Esq., lives in Bala Cynwyd, Pennsylvania, and is the mother of two very different twin toddlers. She is the author of the popular children’s book, Catching Falling Cradles: A Gentle Approach to Classic Rhymes, and is working on her next book:  an advice guide for parents of twins.

The post Top 6 Tips for Encouraging Individuality with Your Twins appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

1. Make sure you limit the party to no more than two hours. This is a perfect amount of time for everyone to enjoy themselves without getting out of control.
2. Plan small, simple parties. Resist the temptation to invite double the number of children at one party!
3. Save the elaborate entertainment for older twins. Most 3-to-5 year-olds like to entertain themselves. Your basement full of toys or the backyard swing set might be more fun than any costly entertainment you would hire.
4. Keep the food simple. Stick to child-pleasers, such as cheese pizza, chicken nuggets, hot dogs, or macaroni and cheese. Consider just serving cake and ice cream to eliminate extra clean-up and to cut costs!
5. Enlist help! Be sure to get older siblings, cousins, friends, and family members to help during the party to help with crowd control.
6. Does space seem to be an issue at your house? Then plan a party away from the house! One of my twin boys’ most favorite parties we did was when they turned 4 and we had their party in a conference room at the local firehouse. We brought in cake, ice cream, and snacks, and our local fire department gave everyone a plastic fire hat, coloring books, and other fun favors and we watched a fire safety video and then toured the firehouse!  Other fun parties we have planned over the years included roller skating, an indoor swim party, a movie/pizza party, mini-golf, and bowling. Depending on the time of year, having a picnic at a park with playgrounds are always fun, too!
7. Be sure to have a separate cake for each twin! Sounds like a lot of cake but every child wants to be able to blow out their own birthday candles and make their own wish! Consider using smaller, one-layer cakes and allowing each twin to choose their cake theme and how it is decorated!
8. Sing Happy Birthday to each twin separately! Be sure to explain to party guests that you want to sing to each child and which order you will sing (for example, “we are going to sing first to Nick and then to James.”)
9. When your twins have the same interests, often they will receive the same gifts from friends. Try using color-coded bows or stickers to label each of the gifts from friends as they arrive and number them according to the giver. Then allow your twins to open #1 first, then #2, and so on. It makes it easy for you to keep track of the guests that gave each gift.
10. Want a quick and easy idea for “thank-you” gifts/party favors? Pre-make all your thank you notes. When guests are leaving, put the pre-made thank you note on a toy you purchase from the dollar store (like a kite, bubbles, or sidewalk chalk) and you have saved a step when the party is over!
11. Keep your eyes open for all the wonderful ‘birthday clubs’ offered throughout the year to receive FREE coupons and goodies for your twins.  Baskin-Robbins, McDonald’s, and Orange Julius have great offers, and be sure to also check out local merchants, too!
12. Arrange to spend a day with them. Separately or together, to redeem all the birthday club coupons. If you collect all the goodies in one morning, you can take them to the park and make a day of it.  Pack a picnic to save even more money!

The post 12 Birthday Party Planning Tips for Twins appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

It seems like every year right around November 6th or so, ample time for my four boys to have crashed and burned from their fog of sugar rushes and candy highs; that I start hearing about all the things in the world that would be “so cool to have this year!” or mutterings like, “everyone else we know has an Xbox One system, nobody plays the “old” Xbox system anymore, mom how lame!” or “Did you hear about the kid at school that got an iPad for his birthday?” And don’t forget, “I think I might be the only kid without an iPhone, mom!”

This is typically when a lump in the bottom of my stomach begins to fester and grow. I get this overwhelming feeling of dread thinking about all the stress of the holidays and everything the season brings along with it, and if you’re like me, things can even start feeling a little blue.

This time of year can make parents feel a great deal of pressure to “keep up with the Santa next door” by overspending and getting into a financial hole while losing sight of what the true meaning of the holiday is really about. So how can we survive the stress without having that lump in our stomach overtake our entire body? 

When we let stress get the best of us this time of year, we end up missing all the fun we could have had with our family because we were too busy stressing out!  Kids are not immune to our stress either. They hear the news about protests, high unemployment, and our ailing economy, and no doubt there are numerous families feeling the pressure this holiday season even greater than ever before. So what exactly is a loving parent to do when they see their children’s wish lists growing larger and larger while knowing they may not be able to deliver?

Here are my top 5 holiday tips to beat the blues and not see ‘red’:

1) Change your family focus. If you can focus more on the season of giving and how the spirit of the holidays is truly about sharing by celebrating the love of family and friends, and NOT how much gifts cost or getting the most expensive gift for each child, it can be a wonderful opportunity to focus on the joy the season can bring. Having your kids collect some of their gently used toys that they no longer use and having them donate to the local thrift store is one great way to teach them the spirit of giving while also making room for all the new toys that will arrive on Christmas morning.

2) Start new family traditions. Get creative by finding ways to scale down the spending and think outside the box! To focus more on ‘thoughtful giving’ this year, our family is starting a new holiday tradition. When the boys are buying gifts for each other we put a $5.00 spending limit on each gift. This will require them to think ahead and make a plan, get creative and visit the local dollar store, or even make or bake gifts for each other instead. They are already thinking of what they are going to do and how much fun it will be.

3) Take smaller gifts and put them into larger boxes. Use bright colored paper, ribbons, and bows and your children will delight in the visual presentation of all those brightly wrapped presents under the tree. You can use smaller, inexpensive toys and wrap them up and then put them in larger boxes and wrap them to create a fun and joyous celebration for your kids. It won’t even matter what’s inside because they will be having so much fun! And if they’re like my twins, they loved playing with the boxes and wrapping paper more than the toys anyway! When her twins were younger, one of my twin-mom friends used to only put out Christmas themed books under the tree all season long until Christmas morning, this would prevent the kids from always trying to guess what was inside each present and also created a visual extravaganza for her kids when seeing all the wrapped gifts under the tree for the first time!

4) Set a budget for each child and stick to it! This is so hard to do when all the stores are begging you to spend, spend, spend and you see so many sales that are hard to miss!  If your child is asking Santa for a really expensive toy, suggest asking for a less expensive toy that would still make them feel special and loved while not breaking the bank. Explain to them that everyone has to scale back this year, even at Santa’s workshop! Also, when setting a budget, it forces you to be creative with your spending as well. Some thrift and consignment stores have amazing toys that are barely used and would bring hours of fun for your little ones without paying full price.

5) Reassure your twins that they are loved and cherished no matter what! Even though people may have less this year than in the past, explain to your kids that the holidays are more about celebrating by spending time with family and friends and creating life-long memories. Tell them that they will always have a family that celebrates the season no matter what is happening around them and they are loved and cherished.

As always, the entire staff here at TWINS Magazine would like to take a moment to thank all of you for your continued loyalty and support for our magazine and social media pages! Happy Holiday! Here’s wishing you and your family a wondrous season filled with love and joy!

The post Parents: Seeing RED this holiday season or just feeling a little BLUE? appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

Gratitude is one of the most important skills to nurture in our children, and creating a thoughtful gift for their teachers is a great way to show it!

Sit down and brainstorm gift ideas with your kids. To get your creative juices flowing, here are two great, gratitude-based ideas to get you started.‍

How to Create an Acrostic Poem With Your Teacher’s Name: ‍

1. On a rough piece of paper, start your first draft of the poem by printing your teacher’s name in capital letters vertically on the page. Then, brainstorm everything you can about your teacher, e.g., what are his/her characteristics and funny habits? What’s your favorite memory of him/her? What are some important things you learned from your teacher?
2. Each line of the acrostic poem starts with a letter in the teacher’s name, written vertically. Using the ideas you brainstormed, match words with the appropriate letter. Younger students may want to choose one or two adjectives for each letter. Older students can try writing sentences using figurative language and rhythm — you don’t have to complete each letter in order.
3. When you finish your first draft, reread it a few times for edits and use a thesaurus for more accurate and engaging vocabulary. Listen to your poem as you read it aloud to make sure the words sound pleasing together.
4. Check for accurate spelling and grammar.
5. Create a “good copy” with materials such as construction paper, pencil crayons, crayons, markers, tissue paper, and glue.

The Perfect Hand-Written Note For Teachers:‍

1. Encourage your child to print a note for their teachers on attractive stationery or craft paper. Before writing, have your kids talk about their teacher. Reflect on memories of the year and feelings of gratitude. Show your child how to create a hand-written note with a greeting, two to three sentences on why your child appreciates their teacher, and a closing (i.e., a conclusion),
2. Writing thank-you cards is a dying craft in our digital world. Still, it’s a skill that encourages thoughtfulness and sincerity. When your kids take the time to put pencil to card and share their appreciation of their teachers in a heartfelt way,  you’ll leave an impression on the recipient. You’ll make their day, too!
3. If there are classroom assistants, be sure to show your appreciation for them as well.

Showing gratitude boosts our overall mental health. Build this skill with your kids at the end of the school year and show how much you appreciate them. In the process, your children will build strong communication skills and bring a smile to their teachers’ faces.

___________

My tips blend well with many suggestions I share in my first book, Launch Your Kid: How to Promote Your Child’s Academic & Personal Success (without being a helicopter parent), which launched in January 2021.

-buy it today at www.righttrackeducation.ca/shop and use BACKYARDCAMP20 to get 20% off!

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