Many of those procrastinators are busy parents like yourselves with neverending daily to-do lists on top of regular parenting tasks, including preparing meals, school drop-offs, bedtime routines, and other activities. It’s no wonder some parents find themselves at the toy store on Christmas Eve wrestling another panicked parent for the last Hatchimals surprise egg.

The holiday season is kicking off earlier and earlier. As soon as those Halloween decorations come down, parents’ stress levels go up. If you haven’t started your holiday shopping yet, here are 10 things you’re missing out on by not shopping early.

1. The Twelve Months of Deals

It’s a misconception that retailers offer their best deals closer to Christmas. The fact is, you can find fantastic deals all year round with a little strategizing of what and when to buy. Black Friday, for instance, offers some of the lowest prices of the year on tons of items. It’s especially a good time to buy electronics (like that 65-inch TV dad has been talking about ever since the neighbors Super Bowl party, which he says ruined regular TVs for him forever.)

If you’re looking to buy winter clothes, including coats, sweaters, and matching jammies, you’ll save more money shopping in January when retailers are under pressure to clear out all the leftover winter inventory before spring. The same goes for other seasonal items such as bikes. It’s best to shop right before the stock for the new season hits shelves.

2. Shopping around on a Christmas spree

Last-minute holiday shopping can feel like a mad dash. Hurds of people rushing from store to store, scrambling to find ANY gift – never mind the perfect one. It’s the reason you end up being the gift recipient of a creepy cat clock, which you now have to re-gift to your child’s teacher because you also waited too long to shop  It’s a vicious cycle that can easily be broken by beating the holiday rush. When the clock is ticking (no pun intended), people tend to grab whatever is leftover.

You can be a confident and money-savvy gifter when you take the time to shop around. Browsing gift guides for inspiration is a great place to start. You’ll also have the opportunity to price match to make sure you’re getting the best bang for your buck.

3. All The Christmas Stockings!

The closer you shop to Christmas Eve, the more you begin to feel like you’re in one of those post-apocalyptic movies, hunting and scavenging nearly empty store shelves for supplies.

But in this case, it’s Lego, because the 500 pieces that currently occupy your living room floor, some of which are now permanently embedded in your feet, aren’t enough.

Shopping earlier or during times of the year when items are at their peak season guarantees there will be plenty of stock to choose from.

Tip: Subscribe to the mailing lists of your favourite stores to get early access to specials and even exclusive deals right to your inbox. This ensures you’re one of the first in line to scoop up the item as soon as it goes on sale and before it goes out of stock.

4. It’s not just the weather outside that’s frightful

If you’ve ever tried doing hot yoga in a snowsuit while balancing several heavy bags of rocks in each hand and a coffee on your head, that’s what shopping in the wintertime feels like. Walking around the mall with all those layers on –puffy coats, sweaters, scarves, and mitts– plus all the shopping bags is exhausting to even talk about. And that’s if you can even make it there through all the snowstorms.

Not having to shop in the winter means fewer layers and nicer weather conditions to contend with. You also don’t have to worry about stores and banks suddenly closing because of bad weather. Besides, it’s much easier to push a full shopping cart when you’re not having to plow through 5-feet of snow across the entire parking lot while your kids scream in your ear to go faster. We call this shopping move “the downward sled dog.”

5. Shopping in your pajamas

Many parents don’t have time to shop in-store during the holidays. Did we mention that parents are busy? I mean we eat 156 meals a year standing up for goodness sake! Seriously, there was a study about it and everything. The alternative is shopping online. 

Online shopping is the most convenient way to purchase gifts because you can do it from anywhere at any time from your mobile device. Product selection is often better online, with additional styles and colours to choose from.

You can conveniently have gifts shipped directly to your house for a small fee or to the nearest store for free. Make sure to double-check each retailer’s website for shipping deadlines as they may vary.

6. Rocking the ship out of Christmas

If you have gifts to ship, getting your shop on early guarantees you won’t be scrambling to get everything delivered by Christmas or get stuck using couriers and paying expensive priority fees. You can take advantage of free shipping at some retailers like Amazon and eBay when you shop ahead of the busy holiday period. You’re also prepared if the post office inconveniently goes on strike, which could cause delivery delays.

Make sure to check out the shipping deadlines for retailers and the post office so they can ship those pants out early or you’ll be shipping your pants come December 22nd.

7. No cuts, no buts, no crowds going nuts

The worst aspects of holiday shopping are undoubtedly the large crowds and endless lineups. It’s amazing what people are willing to do for a deal, like camping out for days in the blistering cold huddled next to strangers, making small talk while discreetly relieving themselves in a urine bag. If this isn’t how you want to spend your holidays, get to the stores before the Christmas season starts, even before Black Friday.

Shopping during the retail off-season means no queues or angry mall mobs to fend off or customers next to you eyeballing your shopping cart. Let’s not even talk about parking. Get your shopping done during non-holiday periods and we promise you’ll be in and out of the store faster than you can say Happy Hour.

8. Gifting like Santa and saving like Scrooge

The most wonderful time of the year often turns into the most expensive time of the year for most families. Never mind buying gifts for friends, relatives, teachers, the mailman, and the dog, but there’s also the food, the drinks, the parties, and the travel expenses. Hmm, starting to see things from Scrooge’s perspective.

The benefit of shopping early or slowly throughout the year is that you can spread out your expenses into more manageable funds. Make the effort to put together a budget at the beginning of the year, or at the very least, the beginning of the season. Setting spending limits for gifts and additional holiday expenses is also a good idea. All of these steps can help save you time, money, and stress.

9. Saying Yes to No Stress

Nothing turns someone into a Grinch faster than the stress of the holidays. The key is to be organized and have a plan of attack. Otherwise, you will be stuck on Christmas Eve running around like a chicken with your head cut off at the grocery store, and ironically, holding a couple of frozen chickens because the grocery store ran out of turkeys.

There’s a reason why your annoying friend, the one who hums Christmas carols in July and has her gifts wrapped and under the tree by November 1st, is so happy and cheery all the time. She doesn’t have to step foot in a store during the holidays! Imagine how great it would be to have all your holiday shopping done early this year? You can sit back with your glass of wine, binge-watch Christmas movies all night, and still have time to move the stupid Elf on the Shelf before the kids wake up.

10. More time for fun and family

With the shopping out of the way, you’ll have more opportunity to spend with your loved ones and do all the Hallmark Christmas stuff you never get to do, such as roasting chestnuts on an open fire! Even though you’re allergic to nuts, you’re doing it anyway because people sing about it and you have time now. And you can send out Christmas cards with an adorable photo of your family in matching reindeer pajamas. Finally, you can rub your holiday happiness in everyone else’s face!

Turns out your holiday-obsessed friend and those retail Christmas creeps were on to something after all. The key to enjoying the holidays is actually getting to enjoy the holidays. Who knew? So give yourself the gift of shopping early this year so you can spend more time with the people you care about instead of a bunch of salty strangers ready to rumble over $2 bath towels.

Melanie Gibson is a Canadian comedy writer and spokesperson known for her razor-sharp wit and dry/sarcastic humour. When she’s not writing, you can find her in the ‘hood, fighting off invisible bad guys with her two sidekicks (sons, ages 1 & 3) and rescuing wine trapped in bottles.

Twitter: @sugarwits |  Instagram: @sugar.wits |  Facebook

The post 10 Things You’re Missing Out on by Not Shopping Early this Holiday Season appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

1,190 miles apart.

And I somehow feel closer to her than I have in a long time. Every time I go out with my sister, someone asks us if we are twins, something that we are so accustomed to since we are in fact twins. The typical follow-up questions are the cheeky “Who’s the good twin?” and “Who’s the quiet one?” But the question that resonates with me the most is “Do you have twin telepathy?” It seems like such a ridiculous concept, but contemplating the matter, I do believe that we have telepathic powers in a strange way. While it is certainly not the way Hollywood or TV shows portray the dynamic, certainly it is something extraordinary that only twins can understand. Of course, we are not able to communicate test answers to each other or know exactly what the other is thinking at a certain point in time, but the bond that we share is like no other.

When I fractured my elbow in the second grade, peers constantly asked Jenni if she felt the excruciating pain. Thank goodness, no! However, we can both say that we sense each other’s emotions. During our high school years and college experiences, we have spent almost every day together. Interestingly, we both happen to be finance majors at the University of Georgia, so consequentially, we have many of the same classes, our lunch schedules coincide, and we naturally gravitate towards each other out of habit and convenience. In addition, we also live together along with two other roommates. We clearly always have an idea of what is going on in the other’s life since we spend many hours together in our normal daily routines. During the moments in which we have been apart, I have felt intense feelings of happiness or sharp pangs of sadness without reason. Later, I have found out that I am experiencing Jenni’s respective emotions, and the opposite is true as well.

The ultimate test of truly knowing whether we had a strong sense of each other’s emotions was when Jenni moved to Minneapolis for a 10-week internship.

10 weeks.

Now, that’s a long time, especially considering that we were together in the womb for 9 months and developed an intimate, inseparable bond ever since. I knew that being apart for so long would be a challenge for both of us, as we have historically been quite dependent on each other for support. During the first week of both of our summer internships, I withdrew myself from friends and family, as I honestly felt miserable. I avoided talking about my work and dodged all questions addressing it. Jenni noticed that something was off. Ultimately, I never told her anything about my experience and how I felt like a fish out of water in a field that I did not care for at all. I made the decision to resign from my position without telling her because I did not want to worry her or cause her to feel any distress when she was obviously powerless to help me with my situation.

When I finally had the courage to tell her that I resigned from my position, she told me that she was not surprised at all. She felt intense levels of discomfort and felt out of place without knowing why. She obviously was adjusting to her new environment in Minneapolis but could not explain feelings of dread and misery that she periodically felt. I knew that she had been feeling the emotions that I had experienced during my internship. Knowing that Jenni somewhat understood how I was feeling gave me a sense of relief and consolation. Knowing that despite being almost 2000 miles apart, we could still empathize with each other was a beautiful feeling.

During the past month since my resignation from my summer position, I have been searching to fill an emptiness that I was feeling from a lack of passion for my career. My twin has supported me throughout these struggles and has given me words of encouragement throughout this difficult, uncomfortable, and at times painful process. This week, I noticed that I was feeling upbeat and rejuvenated, eager to read and write for fun, something that was much-needed but I had not done for years. This week truly has been a turning point for me. However, suddenly, on the Fourth of July, I felt an indescribable amount of emotional pain and was wondering

Where is this coming from?

My instinct told me that something with Jenni was not right. The following day, I received a phone call from Jenni, which really surprised me, because I am typically the one to call her first. I dropped everything that I was doing at that moment because I felt that she needed me and urgently. Sure enough, she was in tears, and I had correctly suspected what the matter was with her situation. The dynamic that we have is something felt on such a deep level; we are always connected, as we share the same DNA and have very similar life experiences. In a way, feeling her emotions makes me feel hopeless because no matter what I say or do, I know there really is nothing that I can do for her other than give her consoling words and a hug when she is there with me.

While these responses do help the other person to feel supported and loved, it certainly does not alleviate the pain that the other is feeling.

After our conversation, I felt guilty that there was nothing I could do in the moment to make her feel better. I couldn’t leave my work and take a plane to visit her in Minneapolis; even if I could, my mere presence wouldn’t solve her problems. All I could do was hope and pray that with time, she would feel better, and she will.

That night, I had an interesting idea. I sent Jenni a post of a leg work-out that I had found and challenged her to perform the exercises with me. While it may seem silly, I felt Jenni’s presence while I was working out and felt more motivation because I knew she was doing it with me. It was a peaceful way to end the day, and after feeling each other’s strong emotions, the work-out was a metaphorical way in which we communicated to each other that we would grow stronger amid our circumstances.

[author] [author_image timthumb=’on’]https://twinsmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/AileenVezeau-cropped.jpg[/author_image] [author_info]Aileen Vezeau is a fourth-year finance and Spanish student at the University of Georgia. She is passionate about volunteering in the Athens community as a Spanish interpreter at a health clinic and at elementary schools. During her free time, she enjoys playing volleyball, soccer, and of course spending time with her twin!

aileen_vezeau on Instagram [/author_info] [/author]

The post It’s a Twin Thing appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

Twins and then some

As all twin parents know, this isn’t a walk in the park. This twin parenting stuff requires prowess, strength, resilience and a good sense of humour. For some of us though, there’s an additional spike in the daily workload and pressure of life. Bringing twins into a house with other kids is not for the faint-hearted. It’s a phenomenally challenging job, one that requires planning, compromise and on many days, a simple smile and graceful acceptance of defeat.

I hope this provides some practical, achievable tips for coping with the extra pressure the school year brings.

New term, new promises, new realities

As the leaves turn golden and the nights grow cooler, the new school year offers the annual promise of new beginnings and hope to parents. This is the year we won’t miss a beat, we’ll make school on time every day, we’ll never forget a pack up, a trip or a test. They’ll be tumble free, drama free, without angst or fear. We will greet our happy, confident, curious kids every day and hear their bright and brilliant stories of the adventures school brings. And most importantly, we will meet all their needs. They won’t be compromised by the addition of twins. They won’t resent the time the twins take up but instead see the joy in every step of this journey.

Yeah. Good luck with that. As Halloween approaches, for many of us moms of multiples, the wheels are already falling off of that rosy outlook. Last night it took all my strength to smile as I was trying to help my 9-year-old with his mental arithmetic homework. Dusting off my rusty old brain cells was a sizeable enough task. Throw in bouncing a baby on one knee, using the other leg to keep another from eating the biscuits in the dog bowl and trying to show appropriate praise for my 5-year-old daughters homespun (and incredibly loud) production of The Greatest Showman… well, come on. Seriously. Is this for real?

Somehow as ever, we all survived. Despite some slight friction and debate, in the end, each child got from their A to their B. Everyone was fed, washed and snuggled up in bed. Albeit some more compromised than others.

So today we regroup. We revisit some of the self-taught mantras that help in times of stress. We accept that we must have rough with the smooth. We remember that we are warriors. We were given this job because we can champion it. We remember that with a little planning and thought, we can show them all our affection. Most of all we remember that love will out.

If you wake some days with a faint fear of what lies ahead, try some of these simple coping techniques.

Here are 7 tips for coping with school and twins

1. Schedule a 30-minute end of day prep time

At the end of every day, no matter how bad that last shift went, you need to reboot and get organised for tomorrow. Give yourself every head start possible for the following day.

 Make sure you have their timetables and homework schedules on the fridge. Check what kit, homework and ‘stuff’ you’re meant to have lined up by the front door.
 Make any packed lunches before bed.
 Get your own clothes out for the next day. You can calmly control your decisions when everyone has gone to bed. Getting your head around a simple thing like what to wear can make a huge difference in your confidence and starting attitude for the day.

 Lay their clothes by their doors and get each child their own hook in the hallway, making sure their hats, shoes, bags are ready to scoop up as you leave.
 Check and reload your baby bag. Get baby clothes, nappies, any baby equipment ready to go with the older children’s gear.

Don’t take more than 30 minutes over this. You can do it. Tidy, organise, prepare and then stop.

2. Give yourself permission

Give yourself permission to take some smart shortcuts. You will be forgiven for cheating on the home-made bread, cakes and flapjacks for a while. You can punch in name labels rather than sew. You can skip sending your donations to the cake bake this term. You can lean on friends for a lift to school.

Give yourself permission to be less than perfect for a while, to take a helping hand and to opt out from things from time to time.

3. Spot gaps and make changes

If you step back and take a practical, dispassionate look at the separate processes in your day, it’ll be easier to see those that are working and those that need improvement. Remove the emotion from the equation and work out all the processes involved in getting from the start of the day to the end. This may include the school run, feeding the babies, taking the dog out, running the grocery errands, picking up from school, running to clubs etc. We all have our ways of getting things done, some of which will be working well, some which are barely functioning and some which just go to pot every day.

Take a solution-based approach and work out how to plug the gaps. Nothing needs to be permanent because let’s face it, once you’ve got it nailed, a logistic will change, a club will be added to the list or a child will U-turn on you for no expected reason. However, think about the here and now and what you need to do to make each process function best.

Do you have friends with teenage children who could help you with a homework buddy system for an hour a day, or mind one child while you run another to a club? Can you throw your dog on a neighbour’s dog walk for a little while or take the stroller with you for the dog walks? Can you get a friend to do pick up on allotted days? Can you swap dinner times with a friend so that you both gain from a child-free window when your schedule needs it?

Try it, make a few tweaks so that you can even out the load and operate more efficiently.

4. Create daily 1 on 1 time

It’s a fact you are acutely aware of, but every child in the mix needs you, and they need you in different ways. It’s easy to focus on those who shout the loudest, taking the path of least resistance and getting by in whatever way you can. But if you make a promise to give each of the big ones just 10 or 15 minutes before bed, you can rest easy that you’re giving them real quality you time.

Ask them what the best part of the day was. Ask them what tomorrow is going to bring and what they look forward to. Allow them to release the harder parts of every day before bed and recap on what makes life interesting and inspiring.

They won’t clock the time you spend but they’ll find comfort in the consistency of you always saving a little bit of energy and space for them.

5. Don’t throw money (or sugar) at it

It’s easy to feel sorry for the big ones, to get a sense that you are not playing enough, not listening enough, not interesting or even awake enough. But don’t let the guilt lead you to an unhealthy place where you take shortcuts to show you care. You are a good parent; you can make time and you do care. Don’t feel the need to throw more toys or sugary treats to maintain the love, affection and favour of your children.

Kids are resilient. Be consistent and keep good strong values or you’ll spoil them and need to honour this exchange and materialism for a (very) long time.

6. Don’t compare yourselves to others

Everyone else’s lives seem simpler right now. Do not make comparisons, it’ll crush you! You need to get focused on your own shizzle and leave the other parents to it.

I’ve often made the mistake of reading the banter on the school mom group chat and feeling bad about myself. Parents with fewer children have more time to review and debate the issues surrounding their children. They can chit-chat (seemingly endlessly!) about what to put in the school snacks, what to wear on the trips and compare notes on reading levels.

Don’t get sucked into the detail or you’ll end up resenting their space and forcing yourself into a low ebb. Parenting twins is what it is. It’s busy, it’s hard, but it’s also brilliant and rewarding. Just keep afloat and don’t listen to any external chat that can take you off you’re A-game.

7. Pause, smile and reflect

Above all else, take a moment every day to smile about your beautiful brood. Think about the funny things they said and the little quirks they have that make them special. Most people haven’t got a clue about how tough a gig this is. But don’t forget that soon, these bonkers, crazy, muddled up, messed up days will become the ‘the good old days – the moments you struggle to recall a bunch of years from now. One day our hearts will ache to be this important, this busy and this loved.

Remember to reflect and save a little praise for yourself. You are doing a great job. You are a champion. Keep at it tiger, tomorrow is and always will be another fresh day.

About the Author

[author] [author_image timthumb=’on’]https://twinsmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/icon.jpg[/author_image] [author_info]Laura O’Shaughnessy is a mother of four, including one-year-old twin girls. She writes about family, food, society, and life. She lives with her family and faithful sheepdog in Yorkshire, England. https://lauraoshaughnessy.wordpress.com/[/author_info] [/author]

The post Tips for coping with twin babies and school-age siblings appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

Breastfeeding twins has many advantages for both the mother and baby.

Breastfeeding strengthens the baby’s immune system and reduces the incidence of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). It is also a great way for mother and child to bond.

Breastfeeding twins can seem overwhelming to a new mom, but thousands of new mothers successfully breastfed their twins every day.

These tips will help you to be successful from day one.

1. Get a Lactation Consultant

As soon as you arrive in your Postpartum room after giving birth, ask to see the Lactation Consultant. As a mother of twins, you will be a priority for her.

She will sit with you and teach you exactly how to get each of your babies to latch correctly onto your breast. Learning how to do this from the very first feeding is important.

If your babies do not latch correctly, breastfeeding twins can be painful and your babies will not be able to feed efficiently.

That is the number one reason responsible for issues with breastfeeding twins.

Nowadays all Lactation Consultants receive training on teaching mothers how to breastfeed twins, so she will be able to help you with different positions and issues particular to twins.

2. Find a Lactation Consultant in Your Area

Before giving birth, you may want to find a lactation consultant in your area, so you can make an appointment to see her once you have been released from the hospital. Many will come out to your home to continue to help you after you leave the hospital.

3. Get in a Comfortable Breastfeeding Position.

The position is very important when breastfeeding twins. There are many positions mothers prefer when breastfeeding twins and there is no one right way.

The positions for breastfeeding twins should allow you to relax your back and neck. Your posture of choice should allow easy digestion while the babies suckle.

You may find a number of positions helpful at different times. The goal is to try different positions until you find the ones that work best for you and your twins.

4. Get a Comfortable Breastfeeding Pillow

Get a special breastfeeding pillow designed for twins.

The My Brest Friend Supportive Nursing Pillow For Twins 0-12 Months, Plus-Size is the most useful breastfeeding pillow for twins.

It is soft and provides plenty of room for both babies. The strap is also awesome, as it keeps the pillow in place while you move your twins around and help them latch on correctly.

Colors: Light Green (Pictured), Dark Grey, Light Grey, Fireworks, and Black and White

Lowest Price: Amazon.com

Price: $58.04- $67.99

5. Wear Easy Access Nursing Tops and Nursing Bras.

In the beginning, you will find soft, comfortable 2-in-1 nursing tops with built-in bras to be extremely useful. While you are learning how to nurse twins and your twins are feeding to often, you will find yourself constantly needing to expose your breast to feed. These tops also make it simple to breastfeed both twins at the same time.

Caramel Cantina 3 Pack Women’s Nursing Cami Built-in Bra is a great 2-in-1 soft tank top and nursing bra. You can wear it by itself or under another loose top. It comes in many sizes and colors, thus matching everything. You will want to buy at least a few packs of these because in the beginning, milk will leak and babies will spit up on you.

Colors: Black, White and Charcoal (3 Pack), Navy, Burgundy and Teal (3 Pack), Black (3 Pack)

Lowest Price: Amazon.com

Price: $36.99 (Pack of three)

Having plenty of comfortable nursing bras is also important. When your milk supply is first coming in and your twins are learning how to breastfeed, it will messy. You will find yourself often needing to change your bra. You will also need to wear a bra all the time in the beginning because your breasts will leak milk.

Therefore, you will want to have comfortable bras you can wear all day and night.

The 3 PACK Full Bust Seamless Nursing Maternity Bras with Extenders & Clips is the perfect nursing bra bundle.

We recommend you buy at least three of these packs to get started. The extender will be great right after you give birth before you lose your pregnancy and while your milk supply is adjusting. The clips allow you to connect the two straps in the back to hide them when wear tank tops or other sleeveless shirts.

Colors: Black, Pink & Nude (3 Pack), Nude (3 Pack), Black (3 Pack), Black, Grey & Nude (3 Pack)

Lowest Price: Amazon.com

Price: $36.99 (Pack of three)

6. Start with One Twin at a Time

As a new parent or one who is having your first pair of twins, it is advisable that you start gradually, with a twin at a time to the breast.

Once each twin is latching properly and you feel comfortable, start trying to feed the other twin at the same time.

Be patient with yourself and know you will master breastfeeding twins at the same time. It is a skill like any other and simply requires practice.

7. Use a Breastpump Only When Necessary

Before you consider using a breast pump, be sure it is needed.

Mothers panic, saying their breasts don’t produce much milk and they are afraid they are not making enough for the twins.

it takes a few days for your milk to come in. The most effective way to establish a strong milk supply is to latch them properly and encourage your twins to feed often.

The woman lactation process actually generates more milk with the demands placed by the suckling mouth(s). Breast pumps are just not as effective at expelling milk from the breast.

In the early days, encourage your twins to breastfeed often. These early days will determine how much milk your body makes. It is a supply and demand system established during the first days. That is also why learning how to latch your twins on is so important from the beginning.

So, before you go for a pumping aid, be sure you need it.

When it is time to begin pumping, we recommend you use the Medela Pump in Style Advanced Double Electric Breast Pump with On the Go Tote.

It is an awesome all-in-one system.

Medela is the most well-known and recommended brand on the market. All of their products come with a lifetime warranty and their service department is excellent.

While the bag this breast pump comes with may not be your first choice, this bundle is a great deal and has everything you will need to immediately begin pumping.

Lowest Price: Amazon.com

Price: $190.93

8. Alternate the kids to the breast

Each of the twins might have different appetite and sucking behavior.

Therefore, alternate which twin feeds from each breast with every feeding. A great way to remember which twin fed from each breast is to wear a simple bracelet or hair tie on your wrist. Assign the hair tie to Twin A. After you have completed breastfeeding your twins, move the hair tie to the other wrist. This will tell you that Twin A should feed on that breast during the next feeding.

9. Get Rest

You need as much rest as you can get.

When your newborn twins are sleeping, you should sleep, as well.

Ask friends and family members to keep up with the daily tasks around the house.

In the early days, your task is to heal your body from birth, breastfeed and care for your new twins. That is a full-time job. Everything else can wait.

10. Ask for Help

Neighbors, friends, co-workers, and family are great helpers in the early days. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Hiring a Postpartum Doula is also an excellent choice.

Postpartum Doulas can help you care for your newborn twins, clean your house, cook and help organize the help of others in your life.

11. Eat and Drink Frequently

Think of your body as just recovering from running a marathon.

Labor is exhausting and you have lost a lot of blood. Now you are trying to make food for two little people.

Allow yourself to eat foods you are craving. Your body may need more salt, protein or fats to recover.

In the early days, we drank lots of Ensure High Protein Nutrition Shake with 16 grams of high-quality protein, Meal Replacement Shakes.

We loved them because they did not contain milk and thus did not need to remain refrigerated. We kept them on our nightstand and drank them during the night when we woke up hungry.

Product Details:

Flavors: Chocolate, Strawberry, and Vanilla

Price: $31.94 for 24 8oz Bottles

Lowest Price: Amazon.com

Drinking lots of water is one of the best ways to ensure your body will produce enough milk.

Breast milk is composed of 90% water.

During birth and for days after giving birth, your body will lose a lot of blood. Blood is composed mostly of water. Therefore, you will likely be extremely dehydrated.

One of the biggest factors that will affect your milk supply in the early days is your water intake. This is a crucial time as your body is figuring out how much milk to make for your twins. If you are severely dehydrated in the early days, your body will not establish the correct amount of milk supply.

You will probably notice that soon after you begin breastfeeding your twins you will become thirsty. The oxytocin that your body releases during breastfeeding is responsible for triggering your thirst. This is your body’s natural way of ensuring that you are getting enough water to make breast milk.

As soon as you can, begin rehydrating your body. This can easily be done simply with water. During breastfeeding one baby, you should drink an extra quart, or 32 ounces, per day.

12. Start Preparing Before Your Twins Arrive.

Preparation is key. Create a plan now to ensure you will have all of the tools and people in place when your twins arrive.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. People who love you will want to feel needed and your twins will benefit from it, as well.

The post 12 Tips for Breastfeeding Twins appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

That day, the double rainbow my parents marveled at foreshadowed my existence—only, at the time, they had no idea that 2 weeks later, they would find out they were pregnant with twins. Identical twins.

For most people, starting college, or any new beginning is a lonely endeavor.

For most of my life, I’ve never felt this type of loneliness. In fact, I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been separated from my identical twin sister, Grace. It’s been nearly 2 decades since my parents marveled at that double rainbow, and I met my best friend. From the neonatal intensive care unit to now, here at Duke, we’ve been through life side-by-side, in every sense of the phrase. Our twinship dominates my identity.

So naturally, orientation week at Duke was filled with the classic phrase chain, “I just met you… Grace, right?” and then, “No way, that was your twin?” which was usually followed by, “I wish I was a twin.” Yup. The first week, month, even semester, was marked by our new peers and friends mixing us up. I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be known as Liv, instead of Liv & Grace… or, more commonly, the Haywards. And it’s not that I don’t like that, I do. It’s just that the concept of being known individually seems foreign.

Ever since we were little, we’ve been friends with the same people. As self-proclaimed “floaters” we would sometimes float to different people separately and then introduce our new friends to each other. Although I’ve always felt comfortable spending time with my friends without Grace present, I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge the twin-ergy we give off when we’re together. We, quite literally, feed off each other’s energy. Given we are two naturally spirited individuals, it’s almost too easy to egg each other on. As much as “double the trouble” is cliché, it is also true. When we’re together, we’re our true selves. It’s hard to explain, but I feel a sense of comfort knowing Grace is with me. In conversations, it’s common for us to seamlessly finish each other’s sentences, share glances that carry meaning without needing the words to accompany them, and usually if one of us starts laughing, it’s virtually impossible for the other to stay serious.

As hard as it is to believe, Grace and I were very close to applying early decision to separate schools. If admitted, this notion of individuality would have been a lot less foreign. But I don’t think either of us was ready to split just yet. Of course, it’s in our cards to live separate lives, but not yet. The athletic, academic, and social obstacles I’ve faced at Duke would have been far more challenging if I didn’t go through them with Grace by my side. There is something remarkably special about having a deep, authentic appreciation of exactly who we are to each other. The phrase “I wish I was a twin” that I’ve heard countless times since starting college is one that consistently reminds me of the gift that is our twinship.

It’s easy to compare twins, especially when they’re identical.

Read that again and tell me that isn’t the most ironic statement. We are as identical as it gets and yet, constantly compared. It sounds wack but I kind of get it. Because we are so alike, there is this desire to find a difference. We’ve heard the phrases “who’s faster, who’s taller, who’s smarter, who’s more outgoing, who’s funnier.” We’ve even been victims to arguably the worst of them all, “who’s prettier.” While we usually let these comments pass, it would be unfair to say they don’t affect our relationship. I sometimes ponder the answers myself. I wonder if the people who ask these questions also answer them with their friends behind closed doors?

What other people say, I’m certain will never cut too deep though. Because in my heart I know that we aren’t competitors fighting to be the “faster, taller, smarter, funnier, prettier, more outgoing” twin. We’re sisters who make each other better and build each other up despite what other people say. And our closest friends will admit, if you spend enough time with us, we’re different people with unique personalities who just happen to look strikingly similar.

The post Double Rainbows – Twinning in College appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

Multiple multiples? Where do you even start to count your blessings?

At the best of times, parenting is a challenge. Add several sets of children all going through the “terrible twos,” the “ferocious fours” or the troubled teenage years at the same time, and the thought is often enough to make someone go a bit crazy. Where do you find the strength and energy? What kind of support is available? How does your marriage survive when it seems that life is focussed on the children? How do you have a normal life, and what does a “normal” life even look like?

We sat down with two families in Canada’s Golden Horseshoe to discuss parenting multiple sets of twins, to learn what their lives are like, what unique challenges they deal with every day, and what advice would they give to other parents in the same parenting boat.

Multiples often run in families so news of expecting twins is not that surprising for some families. For Kim Tait of Oakville, the news that she was expecting a second set of twins wasn’t as surprising or shocking as you might think. She says, “I just knew. I think your brain prepares you for this type of shocking information. We weren’t trying for more kids, so when I got pregnant again, I knew it was (twins) and wasn’t surprised when they told me.” For Lyndsay Petican of Burlington, the news was taken pragmatically. “We were like yes, this is what we do! We make twins. We already had the infrastructure, like car seats, cribs, and highchairs,” she explains.

We asked both families what they did differently with each set, or wish they had. For the Taits, they agree they became smarter the second time around. “With the first set we both tried to be up all the time to feed them; we realized with the second set that it’s impossible. So, we split the night up, doing shift work. My husband liked staying up late so as soon as my older daughter went to bed, I’d go to bed and wake up at 4 a.m. and start my day then. The babies would eat around 2-3 a.m. and then again around 5-6am. Feeding two crying babies in the middle of the night on no sleep is no party, but we found a system and stuck with it. It became easier with time.” For Lyndsay she explains that she definitely has a different viewpoint on parenthood, perhaps as any second time parent might. She tries to remember that “everything is a stage, and where newborn twins is really hard, it too is just a phase.”

As her kids started school, Lyndsay is learning from her actions with her older girls. She kept her daughters together until grade one, and then had them separated in school, as they began wanting their own friends and experiences. She’s been thinking of separating her sons earlier so they can grow more independent.

If there’s any advice either family would have liked to have in advance of having their second set of twins, it would be, according to Lyndsay, to “just be kind to yourself, try not to fixate on what you can’t do, and enjoy the things that you can. It is really hard at the beginning but it pays off in dividends doubly later.” For Kim, she said knowing what to expect probably made things a bit worse. “I knew it was going to be insane, and it was. We had four little boys in diapers at the same time.”

Many couples struggle with maintaining the romance in their marriage once kids come along. We wondered if having not just one, but two sets of children, and maybe even a singleton or two in addition, changes this part of their relationship dramatically? Or, does it strengthen a marriage in ways other couples might not understand? According to Lyndsay Petican, “My husband and I work as a great team… we have to. We try to get alone time where we can by grabbing a breakfast date or a quiet cup of coffee before all the kids awaken. We found it was easier when I was working to meet for breakfast rather than going out for dinner. We had a lot of our date nights by just making dinner and hanging out. Once every couple of months we go out for dinner and every year we have a kid-free vacation to Vegas or Nashville to relax.”

Kim’s experience is a bit different. “I would be lying if I said it didn’t have an impact on our marriage; this is hard. We are both working full-time, I commute an hour and all the kids have activities, so we are running in different directions all the time. Our kids are still young, so they need us for a lot of things; for now, we divide and conquer and at the end of the day we are exhausted and start all over again the next day. We don’t have a lot of time to just sit and talk, but as they say, this is a season of life, it’s constantly evolving and changing. Date nights are a challenge too. They get expensive quickly as we tend to have to hire two people to watch the kids. Add dinner and a movie and the cost adds up. So we don’t get to do it much unfortunately.”

Self-care is an aspect of life that is challenging for all parents, but even more for parents of multiples. Lindsay says her children’s nap time is very important to her, she tries to work out during one of the nap times, and online shopping has become very important to her, in order to keep her sense of self sometimes.

Support from family and the community is also invaluable as parents of multiples sometimes feel isolated because they can’t find time for themselves or time to leave the house to run errands or take part in recreational programs with all their children. Both women agree that without either a nanny or family members to help out, life would most definitely be more challenging. Lyndsay explains that with her first set of twins she “hung around singleton moms and felt very sad about the activities that I didn’t feel I could manage on my own (i.e., swimming, hikes). I spent a good bit of time grieving the maternity leave that I thought I would have. On my second mat leave with my boy twins I hung out with a lot of twin mamas; we mostly hung out at other people’s houses to keep all of our kids contained and less stress-free.” For her own well-being, and so an outing wouldn’t end up in tears (either the children’s or her own) she stopped signing up for programs that she knew were going to be unsuccessful for their family dynamic. Lyndsay also had support from her Mother-in-Law who would watch the boys to allow her to leave the house by herself and run errands. That was a much-needed break.

For the Taits, who have no immediate family nearby and have full-time jobs that often require travel, a nanny was the only way they could survive. When the nanny wasn’t available or one of the parents was out of town, their kids became used to doing their homework at a sports arena while the other siblings had a hockey practice. “We just drag them all along,” she explains.

We wanted to know if there exists any extra government of community support for parents with multiples. Lyndsay explains that she joined a twin mom group and they were a great support during maternity leave. “Maternity leave with twins is not relaxing, a longer maternity leave of two years would’ve really been great as you only received one year (when I was on mat leave).” She recently began volunteering with the Halton Breastfeeding Connection to support new moms and new twin moms with breastfeeding. It’s her way of giving back. For Kim, she wishes there had been more financial support when they had to have two nannies. “There is a maximum we can deduct for childcare on our taxes; we have definitely exceeded that each year. I wish there was flexibility there!” They have, however, found some support with rEcess Oakville, a respite program that offers free care to children with disabilities and their siblings while their parents enjoy a night out once a month.

For all the joys that multiple multiples bring, there are of course, emotional challenges. As might be expected, for both women, finding individual time to spend with each child is difficult but much-needed. For Kim, who has an older singleton daughter, she especially tries to spend some alone time with her because she knows her daughter needs that alone time the most. Both women agree that finding quality one-on-one time with each child is what they have the most mom guilt about.

Every parent wishes they could bond equally with their kids. For parents of multiples, it can seem like a daunting or impossible pipe dream. Lyndsay’s advice to new parents of multiple multiples is “be kind to yourself. Some days one child is needier than the other and then the next day it changes. It will not always be fair and equal, but you try to do the best for those kids and their own temperaments.” For Kim, her family has its own challenges, as her two youngest twins both have special needs, so she realizes she must spend more time with them. Her son Zackery is on the autism spectrum and she expresses, “he has definitely taught me so much about humans in general. I thought I knew how to parent, but boy has he challenged me in absolutely every way. There are days where all our focus is on him. His twin has moderate to severe ADHD, so he is always very busy. I make a point of spending time with my daughter alone, but I know this is a constant challenge and I’m very aware of it.”

Aside from bonding and finding time for each child, what seems to be the biggest challenge of having multiple multiples? “The price of daycare for multiples is crippling,” says Lyndsay. It can be as much as a second mortgage. Kim explains for them, it’s time management and not having a big safety net. That frustration of the unknown from day to day, makes this really hard sometimes. It especially hits home when there are health emergencies and everything seems so overwhelming.

We wondered how their families are coping with the isolation and quarantine of Covid-19? Lyndsay admits, “So much togetherness time has the increased the sibling fighting. My kids are happiest when we go out on adventures, but with limited adventures and limited contact with friends, especially for my 10-year-olds, this has been especially difficult. But in many ways, it has been easier too. Lindsay explains, “Our mornings are way less hectic. We let the girls sleep in. We don’t have to rush to make lunches. My husband has been home to help a lot more as he hasn’t been travelling for work.” And Kim agrees, “I think there is where big families shine. I can kick them out into the backyard, and they all play together and can entertain themselves (and each other). I think having a single child might be harder than five!”

In conclusion, the greatest joy for both families is seeing how all their children interact and love each other. For Kim, who herself is an only child, she didn’t understand the dynamics of siblings before she had children. “Watching the five of them interact is fascinating to me. I love just sitting back and watching them work through something together without us intervening. My daughter being the oldest, tends to take charge and all four boys listen to her lead. I think she will benefit from this role in her own life. And certainly, for the kids to have each other once we are gone is reassuring.”

For parents of multiple multiples, life is definitely busy, crazy, fun, exhausting and so much more. It’s parenting, multiplied. It’s also blessings, multiplied.

The post Double Double – life with two sets of twins appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

As an adult, I consider myself very lucky to have an identical twin sister. Now that we both have our own children, we often talk about the wonderful childhood memories we share—along with a few of the twin-related struggles we wish could be erased. It would be amazing if we could simply press the rewind button on a magical remote control and re-record some past events.

Yet, the reality is that we all have some life lessons to uncover, and that includes twins. In fact, it has taken my twin and me years to learn and then to convey one message: Even though we are a fabulous duo, we are also amazing individuals who must only fulfill the expectations we have for ourselves. I have also become my sister’s number-one fan, encouraging her acting and singing pursuits while she supports my many writing endeavors.

I know—being the twin that I am—I should think twice before giving any advice. Yet if parents of twins benefit by having as much information and guidance as they can muster, who better to share with them unique insights than me, a twin?

Each twin—like every child—needs to feel that she is a special individual. Many times my sister and I were referred to as “the twins,” by well-meaning people in our lives, instead of by our separate names. After a while, we began to feel like one entity, as if we were a pair of shoes, barely distinguishable (except one of us was the left, and the other, the right.) We gently reminded everyone what our names were and responded once we were called by them. Even if twins look similar and have shared interests, it’s vital to nurture each twin’s persona—her strengths, aspirations and talents.

The key to mastering this philosophy is to keep the doors—double doors—of communication open. Parents should schedule alone-time or “special” time for doing an activity of each twin’s choice—even if it’s just to have a conversation. Then when situations arise that twins have trouble handling, they’re more likely to feel comfortable discussing them with adults, parents especially.

Validate each twin’s feelings, even if you don’t understand them. After all, it’s difficult for singletons to understand what it’s like to live as a twin. Having family discussions with all children is a key ingredient in many successful families. Twins, in particular, may need to discuss unique issues such as whether or not they want to dress alike. This is a topic so many parents of twins wonder about; in fact, the ones whom I’ve met have always asked me about it. The answer, to me, is to ask the twins about their feelings once they are old enough. Some toddlers know at an early age what their preferences are. They may even want to dress alike at times and differently at others. This can change as they grow.

For example, my twin and I loved dressing alike as toddlers all the way through sixth grade. Then, when our family moved from the Bronx to the suburbs, we changed our minds. Starting at a new school was difficult enough without peers saying we looked like “The Bobsey Twins.” Students and teachers had been comparing us so much we were compelled to express our individuality. One way of doing this was through our attire.

For the first time, we purchased single clothing items and the doubles that we already had in our closets were worn on different days by each of us. We told our parents about this and asked them to encourage our relatives, who bought us gifts, to honor this request as well.

Adults can help prepare twins and family members for situations they encounter—and model possible responses. I know for my sister and me this would have been extremely helpful in dealing with the insensitive comparisons made—and the ridiculous questions onlookers often ask.

Additionally, our younger sister, who felt “left out” because nobody ever made a “big deal” about her, would also have benefited from these discussions. My twin and I often explained to our younger sister that we didn’t like the constant attention we received—however positive people might have intended it to be—because it often led to onlookers asking or commenting which of us was “nicer,” “prettier,” or “smarter.”

Sly sarcasm, devilish grins

Until we learned how to respond, we usually remained silent, often feeling badly for the twin relegated to second place. As we grew, we learned appropriate responses to these unfair critiques. We used light sarcasm and laughter as powerful tools. When asked which of us was prettier, I might say, “Oh, my sister, of course. She’s gorgeous and I look just like her.”

Or, to the question: “Which one of you is nicer?” I have responded, “Neither of us; we’re both double trouble.” A big grin usually sealed the response nicely.

Each set of twins is a one-of-a-kind partnership. No two sets of kids are really alike. People often generalize about twins because they know one set and think everybody else is the same, but it’s just not true.

Decisions about children, including twins, are specific to every family’s situation. When parents of twins ask me questions about whether or not their twins should be placed in the same class, or be allowed to wear a ring or pierced earrings to differentiate one from the other, the best answer I can give them is that “It’s a personal choice,” based on the circumstances unique to their twins’ relationship.

I always like to assure parents that if they make mistakes—like all parents do—they can make adjustments later and move forward. For example, twins in one of my children’s classes were separated during first grade at the school’s recommendation. For second grade, however, the twins’ parents, based on feedback from their kids, requested that the school place them in the same second grade class.

Although my twin sister lives in a different state, I share an indescribable bond with her. When our children—her three girls and my two boys—are together, it’s as if we are one family. It was like this from the moment our children met. As adults, we remain similar in the ways we dress and our food preferences. We often buy each other identical items, and our families spend holidays and summer vacations together.

Now when we get together, we relish onlookers’ attention and hope one day to do commercials or pursue other twin-related endeavors. We may use the same pitch we used when pursuing our babysitting careers at age 12: “Two for the price of one.”

The post Tales from Twins: Twin Advice appeared first on TWINS Magazine.

Congratulations! You will soon be part of an elite group of moms whose mothering experiences qualify them for the “Believe It or Not!” Club. Friends and family over the years will tell you that if they hadn’t seen it with their own eyes or heard it with their own ears, they wouldn’t believe you.

For example, to be rudely graphic, my identical twin baby boys used to fart at exactly the same time—no kidding. My mother-in-law and I would together bottle feed my infant boys and literally within seconds of each other, they would loudly pass gas. The babies were just weeks old, so this wasn’t a planned prank by mischievous male teenagers! (Though prepare yourself for this in the upcoming teen years.) My mother-in-law repeated this story to everyone, saying that if she wasn’t there in person, she wouldn’t have believed it.

Then there were the nights of the tag team crying episodes.

One infant would wake up crying in his crib, and either my husband or I would stagger into the nursery in the wee hours, pat the perpetrator back to sleep, and tiptoe slowly back to bed only—to have the other one start wailing. Hubby and I took turns, sometimes all night long. It took its toll on us physically to the point that we both looked like something the cat dragged in. Proof of this was when I ran into an old high school friend who took one horrified look at me and said, “Karen! What happened?!” My reply: “Twins.”

People may think that if you have identical twins, they will be alike in many ways. Sure they look exactly alike, but in other ways, it may not be even remotely true. For example, my boys are ‘mirror image twins.’ One’s a lefty and one’s a righty. One is a serious, less patient type, and the other is Mr. Easygoing, as evidenced in this early photo. They are going to be 40 years old this year, and this personality difference still holds true.

Also, prepare yourself for the sinister plots your toddlers come up with. They will conspire secretly and shock the heck out of you when you least expect it. For example, and to be graphic again, I learned to pee in 20 seconds or less because of the mischief they would get into whenever I closed the bathroom door behind me. The last straw was when I came out of the bathroom after a 20 seconds pee only to find one toddler standing on the dining room table reaching for the chandelier, and the other one climbing up on a chair to join him. Believe it or not, that was the last time I peed without an audience for a long time.

I will end this congratulatory message with a few interesting and heartwarming observations and synchronicities for you to be on the alert for as your twins are growing up:

• In elementary school, their differing personalities seemed to compliment each other when it came to making friends and fitting in with their classmates. Plus, living in a small home and having to share a bedroom and toys 24/7 helped them become expert negotiators and problem solvers among their friends.
• During the boys’ senior year in high school, I was at home suffering periodically from the extreme effects of chemotherapy. On my sickest days, one of them always seemed to ‘stop by’ on their lunch period to check on me… and they both claim that they didn’t plan it that way.
• Along those same lines, in their older years when they call to say hello to me, more times than not, they call within 5 minutes of each other, unaware that the other had called.

All in all, being a mom of twins has been the single best thing that ever happened to me in my life, gray hair and all!

I have a feeling you just might think so too! Keep your eyes open and your sense of humor ready for the “Believe It or Not!” moments… and welcome to the club!

The post What’s It Like to Raise Twin Boys? appeared first on TWINS Magazine.